Sept. 15, 2022

E134 - Weenie Weally Weady

Just like Wee Willie Winkie, Weenie is Weally Weady for love! Hear our fun talk about dating, dancing and... drugs?! Can psychoactives really save your marriage or mental health? Just say no, kids!* We list dating must-haves & deal-breakers & di...

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E134 – Just like Wee Willie Winkie, Weenie is Weally Weady for love! Hear our fun talk about dating, dancing and… drugs?! Can psychoactives really save your marriage or mental health? Just say no, kids!* We list dating must-haves & deal-breakers & discuss how religion fits in. And how do you think Jo rates as a matchmaking yenta? (Just looked it up & officially it’s shidduch! I prefer “Love Manager”) We talk about how it’s going living together & hear about our updates – school, work & parenting. We also dig into our dad a bit but balance out the cons with the pros. Hope you enjoy our fun conversation as we explore personalities, brains & everything in between. Write in if you relate! • • socials @mouseandweens everywhere • vm (858) 206-8746

Resources & Mentions:
California Department of Aging
Meals on Wheels
Jewish Family Service
► Netflix’s “How to Change Your Mind” by Michael Pollan
Johns Hopkins research on psychoactives
Article on trees‘ in sync communication
Fool Me Twice Jules Hannaford’s true crime book and podcast on being financially and romantically scammed or catfished
► I couldn’t find the fart love story article I mentioned so here is a similar one!

Hear this episode on any podcast player including Apple, Spotify, or Google Podcasts

0:00 – Intro & Dancing woes
6:05 – Dating Must-Haves
15:50 – DreamDinners mouseandweens99
17:30 – Dealbreakers
19:25 – Earhumping Dad
12:10 – Patron Shout-Out:
22:50 – Ram Dass, Dale Borglum, Psychoactives
29:05 – Dealbreakers Continued
32:40 – Dating and Religion
36:45 – Dating Next Steps
44:25 – Juls’ Masters & Work
47:10 – Living Together
49:45 – Jo’s Updates
55:25 – Female Products!
58:25 – Dad Shoutout
1:02:20 – Conclusion

Thank you listeners & especially our patrons – our family! For $5 a month, join the fun & get free swag, unedited episodes & bonus content, including unreleased ep 131. Thanks for bringing value to our creating!

Music Credits:
• Intro “Mouse and Weens Theme”: Julianne Eggold with Voice Actor David Kohn
• Clips of Hot Hot Heat, Reverend Horton Heat & Hot Snakes: (c) Sup Pop Records
• Outro “Summertime” circa 1977: Joelle Eggold Kohn &John Eggold (vocals) with Julianne Eggold
• Outro “Summertime” circa 2019: Dan Mahony & Julianne Eggold

Brilliant Observations
Avast! by Paul Csomo
• We are with the PodFix Network

Sponsor: Dream Dinners! Get your life back at dinner time. Quickly make homemade meals &have more quality time for you and/or your family! If within 25 miles of the Poway or San Marcos locations, choose pickup or delivery. Use MOUSEANDWEENS99 for $99 off your 1st order! Visit link on

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Show vm: (858) 206-8746

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This is Barry White baby. Mmm. You're listening  to Mouse and Weens. Pull up yourself a chair.
Sit down real still like. Grab yourself  some hot cocoa. It's time to settle in  
for some Mouse and Weens. Ooh. It feels so  good. Like a warm blanket over your face,  
cool, real nice. Get ready  for some Mouse and Weens.  
Hi! This is so rare. Look at us. We're back in um  in studio. Can we call it that? Sure. Oh Weenie!  
Hi I remember you from earlier today. I know. I  saw you out of a window. You were in your son's  
window. Yes I was. And you shouted at me and I had  just taken off my shirt. Yeah what were you doing  
in a jog bra out in the middle of the day? This  is a bold move - I'm very proud of you. I figured   nobody would be looking and uh and I was out  breaking down cardboard boxes in the hot hot heat.
Hot hot heat. Not to be confused with the band from 2003. Hot Hot Heat. It... Yeah. That...
Did you ever get into that kind of music because  I could not do the rockabilly thing. Wasn't that   kinda-- I don't think it's rockabilly. (It's not?) I think it was like  in the vein of Arctic Monkeys and- Really? Really?  
I don't know. I always thought they were like the  the trumpet guys when swing was a big deal. Oh no.  
Like those guys. No? Ok. You might be thinking of um  Cherry Poppin' Daddies. Oh yeah oh.. Or Hot Snakes.
Hot Snakes? What? FACT CHECK! Okay clearly we were  messing up all these band names. Uh there is one  
called Hot Hot Heat. Julianne was right. It is in  the vein of Arctic Monkeys. They sing "Bandages."  
All right. And then there is  also Reverend Horton Heat   who I thought- I did say rockabilly but I  thought there were horns. No horns. Take a listen.
And then there's Hot Snakes who I had never heard  of but Julianne had, and they sound like this.
So there you go. Hot heat,  snakes, and hot hot reverends.
We're not talking about anything. Remember the  idea of staying on track? Yeah yeah yeah. But  
actually this does lead into something I do  want to discuss real quick but... Which is what?   Well I invited you to go dancing tonight because I  saw a fun thing and it reminded me of back in the  
days when I was single and my friend Lisa and  I would go swing dancing we did swing dancing  
lessons or salsa lessons and then you hang out in  the bar and you get to keep dancing with people  
and um.. Like Cafe Sevilla. That's another place that does that. Right.  Yeah totally. And I thought this could be good  
to get you a little uh out of the house, a  little bit out of school mode and work mode and... No?  
Yes. Yes? No. Yes well uh it seems like you might  be living vicariously through a single person?  
Are you? Can we interview you about this? No no I want  to get... I think it would be fun to get you...  
Well okay maybe a little bit. My husband will  never go uh dancing with me ever ever ever.  
Those days are done. It will not happen unless  we're like forced at a wedding or a kid dance  
or a funeral? Do people dance... I think you guys should take  ecstasy. Oh my god. This is the solution.  
Well. Drugs?! Well they do it for marriage therapy. Here  wait let me say that better. I'm gonna do this. Wait, hold on,  
hold on. What? I gotta get my grannies  on. Okay. Drugs?! You want me to do drugs?!  
Ok I put on my glasses. Very good. We're on YouTube. You  have to look on YouTube to see this.  
Yeah no they're they're using ecstasy mdma/molly, guys, for the for the hip folks  
but they're using it for marriage therapy. They  say one... Kids who are listening to this: it is not   okay to do this. I hope kids aren't listening to  this but if they are they're a couple of pervs.  
This is old ladies talking about stuff. Just  kidding. We're not old we're just in our early   40s. We're just jowly that's all. Um no I am but  yeah um.. You know my husband. You've lived here now  
for how long have you been here? Since the new year.  Seven months. It's been a wonderful experience. Yeah!  
What do you think of me observing your marriage  and life? Yeah it's fine but you know how he is. He's  
not going to change. Like you've seen it day to day.  Most people aren't. Yeah. Except for if you use drugs. Oh my gosh,this is not the solution!  
No I'm not promoting the use of drugs. Thank you. I am saying  that sometimes people can't get out of their rules  
and conformity that they've decided who they are.  But secretly fill them up with a little fruit  
juice and boy will they start shimmying! Or I have  an idea: I go with you (ok) and other fun people who  
like dancing because it doesn't mean I'm cheating  on anybody if i go dancing or something. I can  
go have fun with you. Okay now why are you saying this? Did  something happen where it seemed like contentious   when you brought up the idea? It was a lot of  eyebrows raised like "Why do you need to go dancing?  
Why can't she just go on her own?" So we have  a jealousy streak, my friends. But he won't ever admit it. Has this 
always been the case? I don't want to bash Dave.  All right. Ok. Let's move on. Let's move on. Anyway the...  
You're... I hate when you do this! I was asking YOU  if you want to go dancing because we're talking   about YOU and potentially dating (ok got it) and getting  YOU out of the house! (ok) Stop flipping it on me! Grr.
Well YOU have decided that this is the plan for  me but I... I might acquiesce because I have decided  
that it's time to date in the local area. (giggling) Look how  excited she got! We talked about this the other day.  
You lit up more than I lit up about  this. How's your tooth by the way?   Would you stop changing the subject! She just had a dental implant. We'll talk about it. OK. Yeah every time I smile you're  
gonna notice my dumb tooth. I know! I know! It's  there in my face all the time. I think about it  
day in and day out. She has a metal rod in there  like the guy from James Bond. What's his name? Jaws.  
He was like the big Russian guy, German... I don't  know. Ok. Anyway so. 70s kids will know. Okay. Jules! Yo!  
You are willing. Acquiescing... I like that word... Yeah uh let me help you get back in the in the field!  
I did say I think it's time. I think I'm ready  as a human being on this earth to open my heart  
um and and see what's out there. All  right, ladies and gentlemen! Did you  
hear that? It's recorded for posterity.  She is uh available and she's going to  
make some things happen. well we'll see we'll  see what happens and this one when i told her  
lit up completely. My sister has been excited about  the idea and I haven't been ready up until this  
point so there we go okay because I think I would  be a very good matchmaker. I know you really well.
You are my sister and I know your type. But I also  see what could be tweaked about your type and find  
a little something else I think. Oh my gosh okay  let's see what is what do you know about me to be  
true. But honest. You could be.... you could tell  the flaws too. Okay I know okay just because  
past episodes we've talked about this a little  bit. You guys can go back um what was that one   called? Like "Feet, Dirty John" That one was fun. We  talked about dating then. That was when you were  
on a dating app for about two seconds and then you  got off of it. There was one (episode) called "Weens goes a-   courtin" and.. Yeah. Yeah that was a long time ago. That  was before your.. you came out of your cocoon um  
So I think that you need someone who  is an animal lover. , You need a cat, uh  
a healthy person. Okay. No allergies, must love cats, just like the movie.  
You need someone who supports you. Doesn't have to  be vegan or vegetarian but at least supports you  
in those efforts and would roll with  the flow. Someone who's not uptight,  
someone who has a great sense of humor. Like  quirky fun. Can't be the boring dumb jock sense  
of humor. Can't be the dippy dad joke humor. Has  to be smart humor. Someone who you can have deep  
conversations with; talk about philosophy and  life. Uh someone who's strong and strapping.  
Someone who is over six feet tall. I'm sorry. You're  six feet tall. I wouldn't normally go there but  
it would be nice. Yeah. You don't want to have to  kick someone off your leg. Like and too... What are  
they called? Motorboats in your boobs. All your  boys would fit right in your cleavage and that's  
enough of that. Yeah it's time to grow up get a big  guy. Um we could look within the range of i think...
We?! I'm your manager now. I'm your love  manager. Uh you're gonna find someone in their  
I would say 50. I think they need to be  a little older. I would say within five   years. So yeah. Yeah and 50 and up. Not too  up because you still want them to get up.  
See what I did there? Uh and handsome  enough but doesn't have to be classically  
you know americana football guy. Can be (like  our dad) Yeah yeah. He can be fun quirky uh  
I'm thinking... who's the big skater that everybody  loves from Encinita? Tony Hawk? Yeah. Like Tony Hawk-  
looking. You like the sinewy kind of thinner, professory types. Perhaps some glasses?
Perhaps some salt and pepper? Oh interesting.  All right um and what else? Has to be  
liberal. Loves helping people. Very generous  in heart and spirit and the bedroom. And uh  
can't have old ideals. And religion has to  be super open: open-minded. How'd I do now?  
Very good Jo! Thank you. Congratulations!  Thanks. Oh and good feet! You you hate   yucky feet yeah that's true  that's very shallow of me though  
can we do okay so if we sign up no can we we might  have to ask that might be one of your questions  
on your profile is like what show me a picture  of your feet joe people are gonna think you  
have a crazy fetish creepy no I don't want to  put that much attention on really it's just  
nobody needs to know that and that's very shallow  and it doesn't really matter. That would be very  
low on my list. It's not on my list. I made a list.  You did? Okay what's on your list? Did I hit a lot?
You should have been checking him off as I was  talking. I could tell you it's a long list and I   got berated for the for the fact of... Okay here's...  I'll give you a few.. Oh I forgot another one. They  
need to be athletic, um like hiking and healthy.  Okay like just generally no smoking not drinking  
necessarily. Maybe they could drink but not like  not except crazy and crazy. Okay but that's very  
good. I want to commend you on your knowing me  skills. Thank you for paying attention. I trust  
you as my... It's not called the mensch but what is  that "yenta"? Oh yeah. there's a um nice Jewish... Yentl  
um okay. Here's number one folks. Okay all the  guys who are self-absorbed... Okay this is my what  
what must a man have or show in order for me to  proceed with him? One. He asks me questions and  
takes a genuine interest in me. How did I forget  that? Of course you always complain about the ear  
humpers that never ask you questions they just  talk at you okay okay a genuinely kind heart  
empathy emotional maturity respect towards humans  animals and family unless they were blatantly  
abusive or awful. respect from me this is a like a  45 list I wow I like patience you did your ability  
to understand and respect that people are separate  and different from himself. Creative thinking. He  
has living quarters, a car or transportation.  Oh yeah. We don't want no scrubs. You gotta  
have a non-scrub strong ability to communicate  honestly respect and appreciation for women and  
their oppression like a male feminist it would  be nice yes has solid long-term male friends has  
self-awareness wants to leave the world a better  place loves nature and respects nature and loves   being out in nature isn't squeamish with insects  animals or natural things like menstrual cycles,  
dirt, or farts. Genuinely I was gonna say I hope  you added a clause for farts. That's good. Okay. Good.  
Did you know.. I sent you a link about um... It was an  article about a guy who, when he met this girl she  
walked into the room, he thought she was beautiful, she had some funny quirky things. And then she   started talking about her guests and he knew she  was the one oh so see there are people out there  
yeah yeah. I'll put that in our show notes.  It's cute. Okay anyway. But then I read this   to someone and they said gosh, "You know you  gotta let up on some of them. Like maybe  
maybe a few you let go" like that one and I  was like, "I don't know." Anyway so I mean there's  
within reason. But actually that'll work itself  out in time. Because you get married if you get  
married you may not get married but they'll get  more and more comfortable and they'll love you   inside and out menstrual cycle or not and by  the time this happens maybe it will be not but  
um but i'm hoping for the best anyway is amazing  and giving in life and in bed watch out and by  
that i mean he puts on clean sheets okay a guy who  appreciates and likes kids adults and older adults  
right okay. I'll just end there. What  about... Uh does he watch porn? Is that okay?
Within reason I guess. I think most guys do it  I think. Even if they say they're not, they are.  
Reasonable porn. Okay good i mean it would be  nice if they put all their sexual energy into  
you. But don't you think most guys secretly  do? You... No I'm sure they are out and about.  
I mean you see the stray looks. Yeah guys... (Does your)  look around. It's the... life is beautiful. There's  
a lot of beautiful people walking around. Would  that make it... If you walked in and saw your honey..
No I guess as long as it wasn't being taken out on  someone else, as long as it's in his head and then  
comes home revved up. I don't know. Yeah. God.  I sound like a librarian. I just can't even.
I hope he comes home revved up. Like what am  I anyway? Like the ol' Packer? Um a car. Twenty
Okay so do you want to hear deal breakers? Not  to make this all about... Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah   We're talking about it yes. But first let's hear  from our sponsor Dream Dinners. We are sponsored  
by Dream Dinners. Dream Dinners is a wonderful  food preparation service that is offering  
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Do it. It is such a life changer. Enjoy. Dealbreakers. Not to make this all about me yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. We're talking about  it. Yes deal breakers. Immediately. don't waste time  
I said to myself. One. He doesn't ask questions  about me or doesn't show interest in getting to   know the deeper me. Two. he's out of wait wait wait  wait wait wait. Let's talk about this. Men out there?
Men out there. Yeah um please ask the  woman - the lady of your life - questions.  
Uh a simple "How was your day? How are you feeling? Did you see anything interesting today? Did you  
learn something today?" And if you're in  a first date situation, my god, ask about  
her family ask about where she grew up all the  background stuff there's some people that just   don't blow right into talking about themselves  and that's it and don't ever ask that I really  
have had a couple guys that I have sadly  just said oh I guess this is the guy that's  
not gonna ask questions but maybe they have other  qualities and and they really did not get to know   the deeper me and I didn't reveal it because I'm  like if they don't ask I'm not going to tell them.  
But do you remember what I was telling you in  my... in my wild coaching skills in the kitchen?   Yes. What? That you do have to kind of  snowplow in there with conversation  
because just you're a wonderful beautiful human  being that asks lots of questions you are the  
eternal interviewer. But in normal speak, if you  sit back and watch, people will tell a story.
"One time I saw a bear." "Oh really. I had a bear  story too." And then they tell their story and   then you get to know each other. So not everyone's  just gonna interview and ask. But I think I choose  
guys who will talk about the bear for an hour and  then move on to another subject about themselves  
you need to interject that bear story well  if but what i need to do is not choose guys   who don't stop and go what about you or who  don't stop talking yeah that's a i think we  
you know I hate to say it but - respect - maybe  had an ear humper father that it's just become...  
He didn't really hump our ears. That  sounded weird. Ear Humper just means a   talker. Talk talk talk. When we talk to anyone  about the same story, whether it's personal  
or not it could be a guy on a bus bench  or a co-worker or us and won't remember  
that he maybe told you that. But we'll talk about  things for, I mean, we used to put down the phone  
and two hours later pick it up and he'd still  be talking. So that kind of... Yeah do you remember  
that he would clear ours? It wasn't... Well the  answer-- the length of our answering machine tapes  
back in the days when it was tapes. Do you remember? It would just go run the whole time. Yeah he went  
through some some rough times. So why do you not  have an issue with this? And why do I? That's a  
good question. Maybe you're nicer than I am. I- I  bust in there with my stories too. I don't know  
really. And you've always been like that. But  you've also chosen guys who ask you questions. 
Have I? I guess. Yeah I don't know. I don't  like the the showboats. You kind of like the  
the star on stage kind of guys not anymore not  anymore okay this is a new chapter yes so these  
guys are exhausting and they will no longer get  my attention the first sign of self-absorption  
the first time you turn that spotlight on yourself  sir you are out the back door whoa a weird huge  
butterfly just flew in front of my window that's  a sign joe it's dad sorry dad we summoned him by  
talking about i'm so sorry i feel guilty now or  it's just a butterfly trying to get out of the  
heat it's so hot today but you weren't bothered  by dad's incessant talking well no of course i was  
but remember my motto? Hmm? Remember what I told you  when you were just like so fed up with Dad? What?  
Pretending he's dying of... You caused it  Joelle. He did die of cancer. Stop it! You manifested it.
That's awful. You're... I did not... Oh, you're are you  firing me as your love coach stop it right now  
no. But it was like it was another way of  saying have tolerance because they're not   going to be here forever and just have grace.  That was when we were like 25. How could you  
have tolerance back there? No no that was  in high school when we were living together   at Cree Court. Yeah that was very profound  of you. Do you know that my sister and I went  
to a world famous guru? You're not talking  to me anymore. You're talking to our audience.  
Who am I supposed to be talking to? You? Well I don't know. Yeah hi audience. Yes let's involve  
our audience. In fact can I do a very quick shoutout? I was in the middle of a story. I know. I know.   Put a pin in the guru. I want to say... By the way  I put this on my little sheet. I do have a sheet!  
Um where's episode 131? We had a question because  we go from 130 to 132 if you go to  
It is on Patreon because it had some personal  information that my son decided he did not want  
out there in the big world. So you have to  go to Patreon and sign up for $5   a month if you want to get episode 131. A cup  of coffee. Just like Sarah and Jodie and Megan  
and Carla and Joyce. So thank you Patrons! Okay  that's it. Alright so Dad. We went to a guru  
and he said to... This is Ram Dass' partner  Dale Borglum, Ram Dass, Stephen Levine and and  
Dale started the Living Dying Project together to  work with people who are transitioning to be more  
conscious dying. It was in the 60s. Anyway Ram  Dass got huge and famous, Stephen Levine died,  
Dale Borglum he said this. Okay I'm going to pull  up a picture of Ram Dass and show the the camera.  
Go ahead. Okay yeah. Ram Dass uh was instrumental  in the movement with Tim Leary. He was a Harvard  
professor. They got fired for doing LSD uh therapy  and trials. You were trying to Ram Dass me with that  
molly suggestion earlier. Okay I'm dosing you. Uh  the molly therapy. Not to digress but to digress. 
They said it's equal to 20 years of  marriage counseling in one mdma session  
and they outlawed it. It's hugely amazing because  you finally get out of your own head and you get  
connected to your love center and you're able  to talk openly about problems. You remember it  
the next day. It's not like you're in some fruity  land. Who supported the study? The MDMA producers?  
No it's known to be hugely effective and they're  trying to bring it back that and psilocybin  
all right there's ram das everybody yeah guru he  recently died and bearded and then yeah his buddy  
Dale is who we talked to and Dale said... To get  back to that topic. Yes that he looked at Joelle  
and Joelle said something to him. We interviewed him  for a documentary project about death and dying  
and um he looked at Joelle and Joelle said  something like, "Oh you know my sister. She's  
more spiritual. I'm just here... I'm the scientist.."  And he goes, "Joelle you are much more grounded your  
sister and I. We're the neurotic ones. We're the ones  that have to show up all the time and try to go to   therapy and do meditation" which is essentially  true I think. I know. that kind of threw me i was  
like oh but you guys have all the answers you're  like you're pretty grounded you don't really  
have huge depression you're... You know what that's  called basic. Yeah but just why going through life  
That's not true though. You're wise and you're  deep and I mean do you really think that you don't  
think about deeper stuff? Like why are we here on  the world and what does that mean> Well you think  
it's a waste of time to think about stuff like  that right? You're more like to-do list. Yeah yeah.
But you're happy. Yeah okay. So you got something  figured out. And I know it. And I just clap my hands.  
Yeah it's it's.. I don't know. It is the basics  for me. But then again I I followed the little  
you know americana routine. I got married, I have  kids and live in the burbs and whatever. Life is  
good. I knew you were gonna say that. I'm  sorry. I know. So basic. So predictable.  
I'm working on it. I'm gonna... Maybe I should do  some some psychosolibene or what is the other  
cybin mushrooms? They're doing psilocybin clinical  trials and it's beating depression it's helping  
with alcoholism drug addiction huge they're gonna  they're trying to get a law pest in where they do  
therapy with that wow this is exciting johns  hopkins university's doing all these studies  
that's good mm-hmm yeah i keep seeing it in the  news but i haven't read much about it um a good  
show on it sorry but i'll just say that michael  pollan did a book all on this and on netflix right  
now it's called how to change your mind okay all  right watch it on netflix they have ones on lsd  
mdma psilocybin ayahuasca oh no they didn't do  that they did mescaline but it is interesting  
to dig deeper it's not a it's not a surefire  way of solving all your problems but it might  
be a way to get some insight where you're seeing  the world through your limited lens and then but  
they're saying with guided you know clinicians  not by yourself with your buddies right right so  
yeah we talked about ayahuasca somewhere in one of  our episodes and and then our buddy and his wife  
they were talking about going to do a retreat  where they do that and should we say names  
because maybe they don't want people to know  about that. True. That's true. We'll bleep it   out. Cut it up. That'll be a fart. Um speaking of  old friends, can I talk about this really quick?  
Will you please come- -....? Yes but I didn't feel  my I didn't finish my deal breaking list   Oh gosh. We're jumping ahead.. I'm so sorry Yes I mean by the way I'm gonna finish it. No but have  
you done any of those things or you're not gonna  talk about that? Huh the drugs Yeah MDMA I did with  
Um are you going to say names? N.o. Bloop And  mushrooms I did with I'm sure he wouldn't care.
And that was a really profound thing that  I got out of that is how definite nonverbal  
communication is between two people. It was a huge  insight. And I just heard yesterday in one of my  
classes 85% of communication is done non-verbally  between humans. Wow. So I was like magnification.  
Yeah it is true. Vibes are everything man. And  body language. And you become symbiotic with  
your husband at some point. You're... Do you feel that already? Yeah I mean just in the weird, you know, ESP.  
We call each other or say the same thing or yeah  definitely. Insane kind of. You actually are sharing  
I don't know what they said. Molecules are not  hormones but.. We're like roots of trees. We're all   talking to each other. We just can't see it. That's  it, and you get oxytocin bonding with people. Anyway  
right okay. So let me just go through this list  okay real fast. Okay deal breakers! Immediately  
don't waste time. He doesn't ask questions to show  genuine interest in getting to know the deeper me.  
Two. He's unavailable physical or emotionally.  Three. He's mean and shows signs of disrespect.
He's dorky and has eye-- He has dorky eye rolling-humor. He's intolerant much like me and my dorky... 
That one could be nuanced. If he's a  great guy I wouldn't care about that   he goes through the motions but is detached so he  like shows up and pretends to be a good boyfriend  
person but secretly is not all there you know  yeah what if he's on his phone all the time  
like yeah yeah also terrible right yeah i wouldn't  do it he doesn't respect himself or others he lets  
himself go fat health self-care hygiene replies  he relies on parents for or others from money yes  
would you do the thing like uh you you can't  gain more than 20 pounds or i'm out of here   that's pretty terrible but did someone do that  well people have claimed that you know of course  
it's the extreme but like this is my reason  for divorce like in court and everything she   signed a contract she wouldn't gain more weight  and this is not what I married. This is not who  
I married and I want out. Hence my first thing  is that he respects and loves me for the deeper  
person but i also wouldn't want to be so you  don't have to sign the contract but he does  
just kidding I mean no I get it. I get it. Just you  get off if someone's letting himself go that much.  
That means there's something else going on. Right. Or they need to get new medication right because   it's the-- I almost said thalidomide. What's the  part of the..? Uh thyroid. Thyroid. Okay he relies on  
parents or others for money he doesn't like his  family with no great reason his living space is   dirty or smelly he has he's infantile in humor  behavior or spirit he doesn't love animals he's  
brash or hard. He's not emotionally spiritually  ... not smart emotionally spiritually brain. He's  
shady. He lies to benefit himself. Financially  irresponsible. He sucks as a human being  
I would feel weird if... I would feel weird  bringing him around my family or friends   like making excuses for him. He doesn't have my  back. If he's not equal in the relationship effort  
like driving, going to my stuff, supporting me and  sex. Sorry mom. He doesn't like kids or adults, or  
older adults. Done. Yeah. What do you think? That's a  great list. Is it too much? I mean it's a long list.  
This guy better be out there, perfect and wonderful. But I will say as a seasoned married person  
you do have to let a few things go. I will but I'll  find how to do those things for myself where that  
guy doesn't have to do them, you know? What? I mean, no okay, this is what... I was just talking to someone  
on the phone about if you fill that up in yourself  then you'll let go on a few things. You know what I  
mean? Like you might or if he's amazing you pick  your five and you let a couple of those go. Pick  
your top five. Yeah and then.. What so you mean like  I'll work on that. If you find out he's a little  
too money-motivated then you will donate extra  to balance out that? Not that one. But okay for  
example the one that you just gave me. If I figure  out how to speak up more and interject my own  
self maybe I wouldn't need him to ask me so many  questions. Yes right. So maybe I'll figure out how  
to balance that myself. Right because it all  comes down to balance. And Jesus. Just kidding.
Okay. Yeah. Now what if you find someone who marks  all the boxes but is like a is a born-again  
Christian?That's... I can't imagine it would work. It  could not work. That's too fundamentally different!
yeah don't you i mean it's a big big thing it has  ruined lots of marriages where people thought we  
can make this work i'm this you're that okay  your middle spin is 100 atheist i would say  
you're more agnostic. You let a little of the  sun sunlight of the in. Right. Yeah. Yeah I  
I'm uh I believe in all the gurus that all these  people existed - the Buddhas and the Jesuses and the  
all the good guys that taught good lessons. Well he  might believe in that too because they actually   did exist right i mean they're but he doesn't  believe that there's a god he's spiritual to a  
degree but then he's very scientific too so so  he's not full-on atheist hundred percent like  
everything else isn't true i'd say agnostic really  okay i think because that lines up with who you  
are I think right. Yeah I think we really do see  eye to eye and more so the older we get and the  
kids are out of that age where... In the beginning  I was like, "Well it might be nice to go find a  
community at a church and you know the Sunday school and it's the peer group and the youth  
groups and just for that but then he really did  kind of explain and show all the different ways  
that kids can get kind of backdoor indoctrinated  into a certain thought process. And yeah and I  
did remember a lot of that growing up: of going  to to youth camp. And yes it was fun but then  
there were also moments when I was looking around  and everybody was raising their hand and like   oh jesus the spirit and i was like i guess  i'm supposed to do that too and i'd be like  
ah i did not know i didn't feel any spirit i was  just like worried about did i put deodorant on it  
was so awkward and then if mark hoover was looking  at me with his little teeth and wanted to go on a  
hike and kiss me again it was just i i was not  moved by the spirit i was moved by be a good  
person do well take care of others and so that's  what i live by it's the golden rule stuff bam  
you know the foundation of all religions if people  just followed that it might be a better place   yes all about love. Just like uh Michele said  in our last episode. I hope everybody liked our  
Pride episode with Steph and Michele. They they're the best. But it was great  
yeah open-mindedness. Everything comes from  love. And if you can operate from that place   then we're all good. It's the judgment and uh all  that yeah but it wouldn't be tough right because  
even atheists say my way is smarter and better  than all you guys and I think that's intolerance  
it's even if you believe that you're better than  I mean I don't know maybe don't say it. Maybe don't  
have some tolerance for others. Yeah yeah exactly  I um yeah. I have friends who are Christian and  
i think we just kind of choose to not discuss  certain topics because we know we're never going   to change our minds and we still love each other  and we talk about the good stuff and we can have  
discussions and kind of say each of our points and  y and then move on and it's not a big blowout so  
that's great i'm just glad that those  are my friends because anyone that had   the judgment around it would not be  i'm too old to deal with any of that  
let me get my glasses again okay no no slumps  no chumps no bible sumps yeah that's it joe  
i like it thanks you sounded like dirty hairy okay  so what else do you want to close out the dating  
part of life here and then we can move on yeah  yeah okay so next step so now that we have our   list you have me in place ready to be your manager  okay i would like to find some singles events to  
accompany you two i'll be your wingman or i have  some single friends i can wing woman make you  
right right right wing woman i can make you uh you  guys introductions and everybody can we and go out  
together oh so we like the in-person thing but we  also like the dating apps so where are you with  
these you and me we're a team oh well i didn't  say i like the dating apps oh well that's why i'm  
asking what do you want to do next well i would  like to maybe do the dating apps but it would  
have to be probably not those free ones we'll take  away all the freeze because if someone doesn't put  
money into it then they're bottom of the barrel  yeah this costs something i just point it down  
whoa joe i hope you're talking about your knees  yeah find good ones gotta invest in these knees  
that's it yeah so maybe like we'll find a couple  that are good solid ones and then i gotta i'm  
putting putting them through a couple things  i mean these guys really have to measure up to   something they're gonna have to wait a little bit  i'm gonna go through several dates before there's  
any heavy petting or kissing we're gonna go  through stages i got a dating plan wow going into  
effect now you're not going to divulge this right  this is all quiet behind the scenes stuff because  
you and me will discuss but they don't know  anything about this they're not going to find this   podcast or listen to this episode right no i'm  not going to tell them my last name for several  
dates so you can't find any of this stuff yeah  so there's going to be a heavy vetting process
look at you she's put on those glasses again okay  what do you think about that okay good i like it  
she wants to say soften her edges no i had  a point and i was just thinking of something  
um. So you're not going to get physically involved? We have stages and bases that we're going to hit.
Yes um how many? Okay so let's say we do an online  uh thing that's paid. How many times do you have  
to talk back and forth before you agree to meet  and where would you like to meet and what would   these dates look like? Well that's the part we  have to figure out. Maybe we'll discuss that  
next time we're in town because um I mean in town?  I don't know. But we live upstairs and downstairs .
All right. Upstairs.. Wee Willy Winky runs through  the town, upstairs and downstairs singing that song  
rapping at the windows crying at the locks are  the children in no beds for now it's eight o'clock  
okay does anyone know wee willy winky  please write in he's hot he's stuck  
he's running around creeping in people's windows  we don't probably know underwear under that   no underwear like yeah or a night gown and a  cap this is creepy with a candle start a fire  
wrapping at the windows. Oh anyway this is what we  grew up on. I love it. So my friend in New York was  
online dating and she would like immediately  want to do a Facetime meeting and kind of... She  
said it was like a business interview and would  ask her basic questions and if they pass that  
then she would go for a coffee if they passed  that and it was always limited time like one hour  
She was all business and didn't want to waste  time because - nice all this back and forth and   this nuance and then you might meet them and or  see them in facetime and you know they're not like  
that and this was one of the hot tips from jules  hannaford remember our episode when we interviewed  
her how not to get catfished and dragged into  something you need to see this person in real time  
talking on a video too okay you want to make  sure they're the real person but also didn't  
she say she talked to him on video and he did seem  legitimate and it was only until she met with him  
in person yeah that guy really duped her but it's  rare that that happened this is for those of you  
who don't know this was a fellow podcaster  who wrote a book and made a podcast about  
her story of getting financially catfished and  giving this creep this thief all this money and  
and her life was really in danger it's a really  good story episode it's called um uh fool me twice  
yeah don't fool me twice no fool me twice fool me  twice she also has a new episode about diamonds  
it's a whole new series anyway uh yeah this  has gone it's like huge too by the way yeah  
so it's really big yeah it's she's doing  it success story we love jules yay we love  
you jules so i'm gonna take a note from jules's  book and we'll see the guy on facetime but also  
meet him make sure he's real and people get  catfish a lot by the way it happens so any  
and they'll they'll spend money  at first remember what's the   stupid documentary we watched about that guy  the tender swindler oh yeah the tinder swindler
oh wait yeah what was the story now  he would take money from he was like  
made himself out to be this baller oh yeah  use one woman's money to fly her jet plane  
and go pick up another woman and then eventually  he was like the long long haul guy who's six  
months in would ask for forty thousand dollars  and then maybe and he looked like he had a lot of   money so people would and he was like people are  after me and you gotta help me and he would send  
the same bloody video like look they're after me  then i just got punched so he punched punch okay  
i did not punch you she doesn't get  punched oh she's awful man aquaman
does anyone know what we're talking about  so much fun with those sound bites oh my god
she was a terrible lady yeah see he was being  led around by his dinky with that one well also  
they were both clearly and i mean it's just  like a classic toxic relationship i think yeah  
yeah yeah when you saw all that joe did you relate  to any of it like oh i've done that oh i did that  
um we talked about this a little i can't  remember i did relate to something which was
i don't remember okay well no i think it was  just getting in a heated argument and but never  
taking it that far of course but just those  feelings of seeing red and just being so mad  
and frustrated but then you add all his alcohol  and drugs on top of it and then her craziness and   oh those tapes just reminded me of our past  well it'll come out in the documentary perhaps  
the i'm speaking in code about oh yeah it's  crazy yeah love addiction yes yes yes all right  
moving on stay positive i want to start as soon  as possible are you game because you are busy tell  
our friends and listeners i started my master's  program i'm doing a master's in social work and i  
started my internship first week is over hitting  the second week monday so monday through friday  
it's a lot of stuff going on and lots of papers  and reading coming up so it's a whole new world  
a whole new crazy world you are super busy it's  going to be a 60 hour work week for you going  
to classes doing your internship so tell uh do  you want to talk about where you're working yes
aging and independence so it helps hook older  people who might need resources up with the   resources so very nice and that's all i  won't get too into it because i've only  
been there a week and i'm not sure all this  stuff but it's a great resource for people   who might need caregiving or assessment for  alzheimer's and dementia and help with anything  
yeah there's so much out there people  don't know about when they're talking   out there and the whole idea is to get the get  the word out that hey guys right you know right  
the success yeah we we have elder help we both did  that a while ago meals on wheels we've both done  
and then um the jewish family services and  they're all kind of pseudo interrelated and  
good county money state money yeah and independent  money but yeah it's all good stuff for there's a  
lot of shut-ins out there and a lot of older  folks doesn't that do you have a soft spark  
smart for the olds i have soft farts and soft  sports yes she does that was a lot of esses i'm  
gonna have to edit it out so anyway we'll just say  that there's that we both have a soft spot for the  
older adults yes we don't say elderly we don't  say seniors by the way older adults older adults  
okay yep and then uh that was new terminology the  golden years the best generation no golden news  
older folks does older folks work no sure no yeah  okay black folks older folks i don't know anyway  
so that's something and then uh yeah we'll see i'm  so proud of you julianne i just have to say i know  
i'm not supposed to like that's a codependent  thing to say i'm proud of you why because then   you feel like you have to live up to something  that i'm putting out there oh i'm not gonna worry  
aren't you proud of yourself yes i love it but  that's awesome you did it your straight a's and  
now you're getting a master's degree all bubbles  because all because of a because of covenant  
the crazy film industry for a little bit enough  to slow the f down so thank you world sorry about  
the circumstances but i was very grateful thank  you joe for saying that i appreciate you very much  
and thank you for having me here how do you think  that's going by the way because i'm at your house  
i love a temporary amount of time but what do you  think so far let's talk real talk real okay i love  
having you here uh you know my my things i don't  love flies flies open containers open containers  
and dirty counters when you slash stuff on  the counters and don't worry i don't slush   there's a few green flops here and there green  smoothies green smoothies she makes this green  
smoothies every morning folks i can't get  mad at that so you can't because that's it   do you like those green smoothies love the green  smoothies although it gives me an extra sit down  
in the morning and sometimes i'm out walking  the dog and i have to really walk fast home   because it gets me moving if you know what i mean  it's good there's a lot of good stuff in there  
yeah you're you're great no i love  it i think everything is good and   are you gonna be i love you too and i  love being here and you guys are wonderful  
and i hope your husband feels the same way too  because he's part of it does he get annoyed at   anything no no you speak for him he doesn't no  and you know that and i you keep making me check  
in with him and i keep checking in with him and i  keep reporting back that that's codependent sorry  
it is though folks really yeah why i'll get  over it because you're asking for someone  
to validate you or give you approval it's  like i told you if you guys have a problem   just tell me that's as far as it should go  yeah well that's fine it's like a fill out a  
satisfaction card like fill out a survey how how  happy are you these days so that's it we're just   checking in taking the temperature how are you  feeling though what bothers you about our house  
there's got to be a lot no dogs uh  your dog's ears smell like cheese  
why is that the stinky blue cheese type yeah  he's got an ear infection and he gets them  
all year long all summer long when he swims it's  yeast oh poor guys we tried though right we tried  
the apple cider vinegar which is supposed to cure  everything yeah i need to take them to the vet and   get more actual medicine again we tried it okay  homeopathic way did not work next are you going to  
be resentful that i'm going to be spending a lot  of time in my own world no not helping as much no  
okay because you didn't help a lot before no i'm  kidding you did of course you did i'm kidding no  
the boys are so independent now you were helping  me drive them maybe i wasn't hurting yeah you were   you were i'm kidding it was a joke yeah the boys  are you know what you can suck it i'm sick of that  
i don't like when you act bad because you're  actually an actress and it really worries   me you really do look mad uh toby drives  now so he takes his brother back and forth  
so those two are off the slate i  just have to pick up elliott at home   i mean after football at night charlotte i love  driving around i think it's fun and cute so  
i'm happy to do that i love driving my kids  around this is it i quit the garden i don't   work there anymore thank goodness i am retired and  handed on the baton to another elementary school  
pair of moms yay and that was my goal was to make  it a paid position make it a paid position and
joel why would you do that to yourself  she just pooped herself she just green  
smoothied out the back of her economically  correct chair gee whiz that poor plant watch  
everybody it's starting to wilt look at it just  kidding she just lowered her chair she's like  
only a head in there it's almost like i can  smell it gross all right anyway um i don't  
even remember what i was saying so all right i've  handed on the baton so now i'm available to drive   and i'm available to be a mom because this is so  you like that you i asked you what is the most  
important thing in your life and you said being  a mom yeah it's one of them we'll say yeah no it  
really is it's it's the number one thing that  keeps me up at night that i wake up like okay  
here i go on my day what you know it's top of  mind all the time is has your anxiety gone away  
in the middle of the night right oh right  no i knew you were gonna go analyzing you  
anyway can i just say i'm available because toby  is a senior he's starting to look into colleges  
right now we're starting the application  process we have hired a lady to help him   go through all his stuff um get him on track pick  careers and oh it's a lot poor guy i feel bad all  
that he's gonna it's so nice to have direction  and guidance and help along the way so yeah you  
guys are really wonderful parents i was telling  someone that the other day how involved you are   in their lives and you actually care about them  and they're to a degree but then sometimes we  
like when they just sit in front of that xbox  because then it's not a lot of maintenance   which is awful but you can get your stuff done  but then i feel guilty because then they're  
playing xbox all the time this is the middle  one when he's not at football but i figure with   football he needs a lot of down time i'm anxiety  out right now aren't i i am doing it i do spin  
out a little just worrying about the kids but i  feel like i only have this much time left and i   have to do it right i'm a perfectionist you do  put a lot of pressure on yourself yeah you are  
a number two on the enneagram scale which is the  helper yeah you're a helper okay and your whole  
your worth is helping others but you also want  to hear thank yous and get appreciation for it  
but thank you see this back it needs to be padded  yeah and uh but you also care a lot about your  
kids mom said it was her favorite job in the  world was being a mom too yeah my that might  
be fourth on my list but i think well you have  to get the kids to be the mom yeah yes i like  
to be the aunt but for you it was very important  that you did that and you take it seriously so  
it makes sense that i do think you might have  a little too much anxiety around it because   in my opinion you're doing a wonderful above and  beyond job thank you but maybe you don't see how  
other people are doing it so yeah it's less now  i feel like now that they're more independent   i'm kind of like okay cool you're on the right  track i don't think they're gonna you know go off  
and do mdma unless they listen to this episode uh  only when you're married folks and you're over 25  
and you need to spice up the bedroom um   uh no i think and watching toby really mature and  like working out and eating healthy and all enough  
getting a job i mean like that's huge that to me  is just like ah it's almost worried they've flown  
the coop yeah yeah yeah he's number one i didn't  know what this was going to look like so he's  
the firstborn and he's doing great joe you did it  straight a's all as well second kid straight a's  
he needs a little more direction but he  is only 15. so straight a's so he's very   social he's got a different personality  and loves his buddies and loves his xbox  
[ __ ] what about okay we won't talk about that  what ladies he's started to date but you're  
hearing well that's episode what did i say 131 so  that's on patreon you can go there to hear that um  
yeah and Charlotte is great too and she's just  starting cheer competitive cheer and that's her  
new little world and it's very athletic  they have to be really strong and throw   kids up in the air and stuff she's like gymnastics  Yeah she's a spotter kind of I'm making sure she  
doesn't go that snooty cheerleading route because  I had a problem with those people in high school  
so I'm making sure I'm giving her her Nirvana  guitar lessons. Good. Throwing in some Radiohead  
in there. Yeah I'm sure she stays grounded in  in important things. Like guitar. Like guitar.  
Yeah no she is. I think she'll always be that kind  of person too. I don't think she'll ever go too   excited even if she has wacky friends i think  she'll just kind of straighten her i hope she's  
the diplomat too yeah so yeah it's cute though  she's going through all her stuff and you know  
started sixth grade started middle school this is  a whole new world and dabbling with eyeliner and  
little you know cares about her appearance  a little bit more and weird to see huh yeah  
and we had to buy some female products to  put under the sink just in case and you i i  
can i just tell you what i saw the other day i  came out of the back room and i'm going in there  
and i hear this mom in charlotte's going god and  the two boys are on the couch and they're going  
geez i'm like what are you doing and you're like  no i just want to tell you that you put this in  
your underwear and you put these little flaps  around so they stick on and i'm like what is she   training her kit and i see that you're telling  him how to put in a pad but you're right in  
front of the two boys charlotte already took off  down the hall so what was happening well okay so  
we had our peri-menopause episode and as we know  we're both slowing down in life which is perfectly  
fine okay i also can i say brian lee my good  buddy brian lee who supported our show he wrote  
me the other day he's like i just listened to 55  minutes of your perimenopause and he's a lovely  
man friend of mine he's like i don't know why i  listen to the whole thing but just so you know i   know what's going on now oh and then uh sam  leaf my good friend just she listens to all  
of our episodes so shout out to my two buddies  who are listening brian thank you and sam just  
asked me to go to the high school reunion by the  way yay let's go it could be fun please go we're  
gonna talk about that sam i love you i just hated  high school but we'll talk about it but okay these  
are the the okay people maybe maybe sam's amazing  i love her she was but um anyway keep going with  
your story oh okay so perimenopause so i'm slowing  down in the in the monthly department uh and but  
it's like a little i was telling my friends it's  like a little air fart it's just a little like   a couple days of spotting and it's so stupid  and it's like i could still make a baby but  
i can't i can't have four days the other day but  then right so this is when it started was when you  
walked out and saw me i was getting a pad it's not  like i was demonstrating and my pants were down in  
the living room or anything like that i just held  it up and i said i think you guys need to see this   and this is how you take the tabs off and you were  if you were to put it in underwear go like this  
it's like a sticker and you wrap the wings around  so it doesn't you know uh bleed menstrual pad guys  
yeah yeah so it has wings and the boys i'm like  you know what you need to know this too because  
you might have a girlfriend or you know a wife  or a sister you might have to help charlotte i  
don't know like boys need to know this too  there's nothing worse than meeting a guy   who doesn't know the difference between a pad and  a tampon? I'm like "come on." We're at... where are we?
More than half are women. More than half the species or  there're more probably women than men. They're more  
than the good half. So how do we like not know  this yet people? So anyway I wanted to educate  
therefore I did. I love that you talk about  all this stuff. This is what our dad did with   us. So a positive wonderful shout-out for  our dad teaching us all this stuff and uh  
yeah. Trying to erase the answering machine message  comment? Yes. Wow. That's okay. I feel bad I'm always  
talking about the bad stuff. But you remember  the bad stuff sometimes more than the good.   And for me it happened yeah he was.. The negative  talkers that want. That one negative comment  
can outweigh the 100 positive comments. It's a  very strong thing in our brains that's primal   true true helps us with survival fact and how  dare somebody just talk into a machine for an hour  
dad here we are i know we're having see we love  conversation i know and we had all our tapes  
he was the original podcaster by the way we need  to digitize all his tapes and videos because he  
made us this way and uh he made us always  so all the good things you have to say three  
positive comments when you say one negative  comment about someone to outweigh it so   he was a great archiver he cared so much about  us that he would record us as little kids so  
someday we could hear ourselves as adults  and and that has been true and so precious.  
And he taught us about periods and female anatomy  on a Bionic Woman who was invisible. You could see  
inside of her right? No. No it was a solid uh Barbie  but she was just huge. So he drew with a pencil  
where her uterus was and fallopian tubes and  ovaries. And yeah see I don't know why but I  
thought I had a memory of him showing me with a  banana and melon and.. I know. Why do you say that?  
Did I make that one up? I don't know. Maybe I got  a different talk. I think the second kid gets it  
because they have just had it. They put too much  effort in the first kid and the second one just   gets a banana in a in a cantaloupe. You mean and  they move on. It's possible. we always had fruit on the  
on the counter he was a health nut too. So he  probably was busy. They were like, "She's fine. She'll   land on her feet. He probably had the sperm as the  raisins and the yeah the eggs were the almonds and  
there was a banana and a melon. So now when I order  fruit salad it's a whole different experience  
always. Dried apricots. Those are probably  the fallopian tubes. Yeah the ovaries. Oh  
god dad ruined okay fruit salad forever. And one  more thing about dad - go Jo. He's a fun  
funny person and we had so much fun with him. And  we are starting to run out of time I think, right?  
Are we at time? Let's end this sucker all  right? All right. It's been a fun sucker but  
I have lots to talk about in our next one. Uh I  went to London. We'll do a little London recap  
yeah on the hottest day of london's history by the  way yes all right don't don't ruin my lead story  
i'll tell you entice okay it's enticing hear what  happened on the hottest day in london's history i  
was there um other fun things oh i have a lot of  fun articles that were in the news that i want to  
discuss oh there she goes again as soon as i start  talking you tune out you like no i'm not you're  
not i was getting closer to the mic okay she just  turned into a small small person in her screen  
um and my tooth debacle um what else jaws jaws  boobs we were gonna talk about that that'll come  
up next time what's wrong with your boobs uh we'll  talk about it next time are you gonna get them   chopped off enticing i don't know let's talk about  it next time i'd like to talk about my boobs too  
okay i'm starting to look like a lady in  national geographic that's nursing a pig   we'll talk about that next time i always remember  that picture traumatizing it's not funny they need  
resources there oh my god wow wow well you know  maybe there's a market for that but anyway okay  
boys and girls thank you for listening thank you  patrons we appreciate your your being there and  
helping keep the lights on over here and uh  everyone who listens and i'm sorry it's been   so long it's just been kind of a summer break  for us we took a little bit of a she said that  
we're getting we're getting back to our weekly  catch-ups and and hopefully she's been touching  
her boobs stop it stop piglets attached all right  we love you guys and we'll see you next week  
all right let's play it back
did you know your tape recording it
fish are jumping
no more
whom do you love and what would  be your intro song all this and   more on today's brilliant observations  
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