Just like Wee Willie Winkie, Weenie is Weally Weady for love! Hear our fun talk about dating, dancing and... drugs?! Can psychoactives really save your marriage or mental health? Just say no, kids!* We list dating must-haves & deal-breakers & di...
E134 – Just like Wee Willie Winkie, Weenie is Weally Weady for love! Hear our fun talk about dating, dancing and… drugs?! Can psychoactives really save your marriage or mental health? Just say no, kids!* We list dating must-haves & deal-breakers & discuss how religion fits in. And how do you think Jo rates as a matchmaking yenta? (Just looked it up & officially it’s shidduch! I prefer “Love Manager”) We talk about how it’s going living together & hear about our updates – school, work & parenting. We also dig into our dad a bit but balance out the cons with the pros. Hope you enjoy our fun conversation as we explore personalities, brains & everything in between. Write in if you relate! • email@example.com • socials @mouseandweens everywhere • vm (858) 206-8746
Resources & Mentions:
► California Department of Aging
► Meals on Wheels
► Jewish Family Service
► Netflix’s “How to Change Your Mind” by Michael Pollan
► Johns Hopkins research on psychoactives
► Article on trees‘ in sync communication
► Fool Me Twice Jules Hannaford’s true crime book and podcast on being financially and romantically scammed or catfished
► I couldn’t find the fart love story article I mentioned so here is a similar one!
Hear this episode on any podcast player including Apple, Spotify, or Google Podcasts
0:00 – Intro & Dancing woes
6:05 – Dating Must-Haves
15:50 – DreamDinners mouseandweens99
17:30 – Dealbreakers
19:25 – Earhumping Dad
12:10 – Patron Shout-Out: patreon.com/mouseandweens
22:50 – Ram Dass, Dale Borglum, Psychoactives
29:05 – Dealbreakers Continued
32:40 – Dating and Religion
36:45 – Dating Next Steps
44:25 – Juls’ Masters & Work
47:10 – Living Together
49:45 – Jo’s Updates
55:25 – Female Products!
58:25 – Dad Shoutout
1:02:20 – Conclusion
Thank you listeners & especially our patrons – our family! For $5 a month, join the fun & get free swag, unedited episodes & bonus content, including unreleased ep 131. Thanks for bringing value to our creating! Patreon.com/MouseAndWeens
• Intro “Mouse and Weens Theme”: Julianne Eggold with Voice Actor David Kohn
• Clips of Hot Hot Heat, Reverend Horton Heat & Hot Snakes: (c) Sup Pop Records
• Outro “Summertime” circa 1977: Joelle Eggold Kohn &John Eggold (vocals) with Julianne Eggold
• Outro “Summertime” circa 2019: Dan Mahony & Julianne Eggold JulianneEggold.com
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This is Barry White baby. Mmm. You're listening to Mouse and Weens. Pull up yourself a chair.
Sit down real still like. Grab yourself some hot cocoa. It's time to settle in
for some Mouse and Weens. Ooh. It feels so good. Like a warm blanket over your face,
cool, real nice. Get ready for some Mouse and Weens.
Hi! This is so rare. Look at us. We're back in um in studio. Can we call it that? Sure. Oh Weenie!
Hi I remember you from earlier today. I know. I saw you out of a window. You were in your son's
window. Yes I was. And you shouted at me and I had just taken off my shirt. Yeah what were you doing
in a jog bra out in the middle of the day? This is a bold move - I'm very proud of you. I figured nobody would be looking and uh and I was out breaking down cardboard boxes in the hot hot heat.
Hot hot heat. Not to be confused with the band from 2003. Hot Hot Heat. It... Yeah. That...
Did you ever get into that kind of music because I could not do the rockabilly thing. Wasn't that kinda-- I don't think it's rockabilly. (It's not?) I think it was like in the vein of Arctic Monkeys and- Really? Really?
I don't know. I always thought they were like the the trumpet guys when swing was a big deal. Oh no.
Like those guys. No? Ok. You might be thinking of um Cherry Poppin' Daddies. Oh yeah oh.. Or Hot Snakes.
Hot Snakes? What? FACT CHECK! Okay clearly we were messing up all these band names. Uh there is one
called Hot Hot Heat. Julianne was right. It is in the vein of Arctic Monkeys. They sing "Bandages."
All right. And then there is also Reverend Horton Heat who I thought- I did say rockabilly but I thought there were horns. No horns. Take a listen.
And then there's Hot Snakes who I had never heard of but Julianne had, and they sound like this.
So there you go. Hot heat, snakes, and hot hot reverends.
We're not talking about anything. Remember the idea of staying on track? Yeah yeah yeah. But
actually this does lead into something I do want to discuss real quick but... Which is what? Well I invited you to go dancing tonight because I saw a fun thing and it reminded me of back in the
days when I was single and my friend Lisa and I would go swing dancing we did swing dancing
lessons or salsa lessons and then you hang out in the bar and you get to keep dancing with people
and um.. Like Cafe Sevilla. That's another place that does that. Right. Yeah totally. And I thought this could be good
to get you a little uh out of the house, a little bit out of school mode and work mode and... No?
Yes. Yes? No. Yes well uh it seems like you might be living vicariously through a single person?
Are you? Can we interview you about this? No no I want to get... I think it would be fun to get you...
Well okay maybe a little bit. My husband will never go uh dancing with me ever ever ever.
Those days are done. It will not happen unless we're like forced at a wedding or a kid dance
or a funeral? Do people dance... I think you guys should take ecstasy. Oh my god. This is the solution.
Well. Drugs?! Well they do it for marriage therapy. Here wait let me say that better. I'm gonna do this. Wait, hold on,
hold on. What? I gotta get my grannies on. Okay. Drugs?! You want me to do drugs?!
Ok I put on my glasses. Very good. We're on YouTube. You have to look on YouTube to see this.
Yeah no they're they're using ecstasy mdma/molly, guys, for the for the hip folks
but they're using it for marriage therapy. They say one... Kids who are listening to this: it is not okay to do this. I hope kids aren't listening to this but if they are they're a couple of pervs.
This is old ladies talking about stuff. Just kidding. We're not old we're just in our early 40s. We're just jowly that's all. Um no I am but yeah um.. You know my husband. You've lived here now
for how long have you been here? Since the new year. Seven months. It's been a wonderful experience. Yeah!
What do you think of me observing your marriage and life? Yeah it's fine but you know how he is. He's
not going to change. Like you've seen it day to day. Most people aren't. Yeah. Except for if you use drugs. Oh my gosh,this is not the solution!
No I'm not promoting the use of drugs. Thank you. I am saying that sometimes people can't get out of their rules
and conformity that they've decided who they are. But secretly fill them up with a little fruit
juice and boy will they start shimmying! Or I have an idea: I go with you (ok) and other fun people who
like dancing because it doesn't mean I'm cheating on anybody if i go dancing or something. I can
go have fun with you. Okay now why are you saying this? Did something happen where it seemed like contentious when you brought up the idea? It was a lot of eyebrows raised like "Why do you need to go dancing?
Why can't she just go on her own?" So we have a jealousy streak, my friends. But he won't ever admit it. Has this
always been the case? I don't want to bash Dave. All right. Ok. Let's move on. Let's move on. Anyway the...
You're... I hate when you do this! I was asking YOU if you want to go dancing because we're talking about YOU and potentially dating (ok got it) and getting YOU out of the house! (ok) Stop flipping it on me! Grr.
Well YOU have decided that this is the plan for me but I... I might acquiesce because I have decided
that it's time to date in the local area. (giggling) Look how excited she got! We talked about this the other day.
You lit up more than I lit up about this. How's your tooth by the way? Would you stop changing the subject! She just had a dental implant. We'll talk about it. OK. Yeah every time I smile you're
gonna notice my dumb tooth. I know! I know! It's there in my face all the time. I think about it
day in and day out. She has a metal rod in there like the guy from James Bond. What's his name? Jaws.
He was like the big Russian guy, German... I don't know. Ok. Anyway so. 70s kids will know. Okay. Jules! Yo!
You are willing. Acquiescing... I like that word... Yeah ..to uh let me help you get back in the in the field!
I did say I think it's time. I think I'm ready as a human being on this earth to open my heart
um and and see what's out there. All right, ladies and gentlemen! Did you
hear that? It's recorded for posterity. She is uh available and she's going to
make some things happen. well we'll see we'll see what happens and this one when i told her
lit up completely. My sister has been excited about the idea and I haven't been ready up until this
point so there we go okay because I think I would be a very good matchmaker. I know you really well.
You are my sister and I know your type. But I also see what could be tweaked about your type and find
a little something else I think. Oh my gosh okay let's see what is what do you know about me to be
true. But honest. You could be.... you could tell the flaws too. Okay I know okay just because
past episodes we've talked about this a little bit. You guys can go back um what was that one called? Like "Feet, Dirty John" That one was fun. We talked about dating then. That was when you were
on a dating app for about two seconds and then you got off of it. There was one (episode) called "Weens goes a- courtin" and.. Yeah. Yeah that was a long time ago. That was before your.. you came out of your cocoon um
So I think that you need someone who is an animal lover. , You need a cat, uh
a healthy person. Okay. No allergies, must love cats, just like the movie.
You need someone who supports you. Doesn't have to be vegan or vegetarian but at least supports you
in those efforts and would roll with the flow. Someone who's not uptight,
someone who has a great sense of humor. Like quirky fun. Can't be the boring dumb jock sense
of humor. Can't be the dippy dad joke humor. Has to be smart humor. Someone who you can have deep
conversations with; talk about philosophy and life. Uh someone who's strong and strapping.
Someone who is over six feet tall. I'm sorry. You're six feet tall. I wouldn't normally go there but
it would be nice. Yeah. You don't want to have to kick someone off your leg. Like and too... What are
they called? Motorboats in your boobs. All your boys would fit right in your cleavage and that's
enough of that. Yeah it's time to grow up get a big guy. Um we could look within the range of i think...
We?! I'm your manager now. I'm your love manager. Uh you're gonna find someone in their
I would say 50. I think they need to be a little older. I would say within five years. So yeah. Yeah and 50 and up. Not too up because you still want them to get up.
See what I did there? Uh and handsome enough but doesn't have to be classically
you know americana football guy. Can be (like our dad) Yeah yeah. He can be fun quirky uh
I'm thinking... who's the big skater that everybody loves from Encinita? Tony Hawk? Yeah. Like Tony Hawk-
looking. You like the sinewy kind of thinner, professory types. Perhaps some glasses?
Perhaps some salt and pepper? Oh interesting. All right um and what else? Has to be
liberal. Loves helping people. Very generous in heart and spirit and the bedroom. And uh
can't have old ideals. And religion has to be super open: open-minded. How'd I do now?
Very good Jo! Thank you. Congratulations! Thanks. Oh and good feet! You you hate yucky feet yeah that's true that's very shallow of me though
can we do okay so if we sign up no can we we might have to ask that might be one of your questions
on your profile is like what show me a picture of your feet joe people are gonna think you
have a crazy fetish creepy no I don't want to put that much attention on really it's just
nobody needs to know that and that's very shallow and it doesn't really matter. That would be very
low on my list. It's not on my list. I made a list. You did? Okay what's on your list? Did I hit a lot?
You should have been checking him off as I was talking. I could tell you it's a long list and I got berated for the for the fact of... Okay here's... I'll give you a few.. Oh I forgot another one. They
need to be athletic, um like hiking and healthy. Okay like just generally no smoking not drinking
necessarily. Maybe they could drink but not like not except crazy and crazy. Okay but that's very
good. I want to commend you on your knowing me skills. Thank you for paying attention. I trust
you as my... It's not called the mensch but what is that "yenta"? Oh yeah. there's a um nice Jewish... Yentl
um okay. Here's number one folks. Okay all the guys who are self-absorbed... Okay this is my what
what must a man have or show in order for me to proceed with him? One. He asks me questions and
takes a genuine interest in me. How did I forget that? Of course you always complain about the ear
humpers that never ask you questions they just talk at you okay okay a genuinely kind heart
empathy emotional maturity respect towards humans animals and family unless they were blatantly
abusive or awful. respect from me this is a like a 45 list I wow I like patience you did your ability
to understand and respect that people are separate and different from himself. Creative thinking. He
has living quarters, a car or transportation. Oh yeah. We don't want no scrubs. You gotta
have a non-scrub strong ability to communicate honestly respect and appreciation for women and
their oppression like a male feminist it would be nice yes has solid long-term male friends has
self-awareness wants to leave the world a better place loves nature and respects nature and loves being out in nature isn't squeamish with insects animals or natural things like menstrual cycles,
dirt, or farts. Genuinely I was gonna say I hope you added a clause for farts. That's good. Okay. Good.
Did you know.. I sent you a link about um... It was an article about a guy who, when he met this girl she
walked into the room, he thought she was beautiful, she had some funny quirky things. And then she started talking about her guests and he knew she was the one oh so see there are people out there
yeah yeah. I'll put that in our show notes. It's cute. Okay anyway. But then I read this to someone and they said gosh, "You know you gotta let up on some of them. Like maybe
maybe a few you let go" like that one and I was like, "I don't know." Anyway so I mean there's
within reason. But actually that'll work itself out in time. Because you get married if you get
married you may not get married but they'll get more and more comfortable and they'll love you inside and out menstrual cycle or not and by the time this happens maybe it will be not but
um but i'm hoping for the best anyway is amazing and giving in life and in bed watch out and by
that i mean he puts on clean sheets okay a guy who appreciates and likes kids adults and older adults
right okay. I'll just end there. What about... Uh does he watch porn? Is that okay?
Within reason I guess. I think most guys do it I think. Even if they say they're not, they are.
Reasonable porn. Okay good i mean it would be nice if they put all their sexual energy into
you. But don't you think most guys secretly do? You... No I'm sure they are out and about.
I mean you see the stray looks. Yeah guys... (Does your) look around. It's the... life is beautiful. There's
a lot of beautiful people walking around. Would that make it... If you walked in and saw your honey..
No I guess as long as it wasn't being taken out on someone else, as long as it's in his head and then
comes home revved up. I don't know. Yeah. God. I sound like a librarian. I just can't even.
I hope he comes home revved up. Like what am I anyway? Like the ol' Packer? Um a car. Twenty
Okay so do you want to hear deal breakers? Not to make this all about... Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah We're talking about it yes. But first let's hear from our sponsor Dream Dinners. We are sponsored
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Do it. It is such a life changer. Enjoy. Dealbreakers. Not to make this all about me yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. We're talking about it. Yes deal breakers. Immediately. don't waste time
I said to myself. One. He doesn't ask questions about me or doesn't show interest in getting to know the deeper me. Two. he's out of wait wait wait wait wait wait. Let's talk about this. Men out there?
Men out there. Yeah um please ask the woman - the lady of your life - questions.
Uh a simple "How was your day? How are you feeling? Did you see anything interesting today? Did you
learn something today?" And if you're in a first date situation, my god, ask about
her family ask about where she grew up all the background stuff there's some people that just don't blow right into talking about themselves and that's it and don't ever ask that I really
have had a couple guys that I have sadly just said oh I guess this is the guy that's
not gonna ask questions but maybe they have other qualities and and they really did not get to know the deeper me and I didn't reveal it because I'm like if they don't ask I'm not going to tell them.
But do you remember what I was telling you in my... in my wild coaching skills in the kitchen? Yes. What? That you do have to kind of snowplow in there with conversation
because just you're a wonderful beautiful human being that asks lots of questions you are the
eternal interviewer. But in normal speak, if you sit back and watch, people will tell a story.
"One time I saw a bear." "Oh really. I had a bear story too." And then they tell their story and then you get to know each other. So not everyone's just gonna interview and ask. But I think I choose
guys who will talk about the bear for an hour and then move on to another subject about themselves
you need to interject that bear story well if but what i need to do is not choose guys who don't stop and go what about you or who don't stop talking yeah that's a i think we
you know I hate to say it but - respect - maybe had an ear humper father that it's just become...
He didn't really hump our ears. That sounded weird. Ear Humper just means a talker. Talk talk talk. When we talk to anyone about the same story, whether it's personal
or not it could be a guy on a bus bench or a co-worker or us and won't remember
that he maybe told you that. But we'll talk about things for, I mean, we used to put down the phone
and two hours later pick it up and he'd still be talking. So that kind of... Yeah do you remember
that he would clear ours? It wasn't... Well the answer-- the length of our answering machine tapes
back in the days when it was tapes. Do you remember? It would just go run the whole time. Yeah he went
through some some rough times. So why do you not have an issue with this? And why do I? That's a
good question. Maybe you're nicer than I am. I- I bust in there with my stories too. I don't know
really. And you've always been like that. But you've also chosen guys who ask you questions.
Have I? I guess. Yeah I don't know. I don't like the the showboats. You kind of like the
the star on stage kind of guys not anymore not anymore okay this is a new chapter yes so these
guys are exhausting and they will no longer get my attention the first sign of self-absorption
the first time you turn that spotlight on yourself sir you are out the back door whoa a weird huge
butterfly just flew in front of my window that's a sign joe it's dad sorry dad we summoned him by
talking about i'm so sorry i feel guilty now or it's just a butterfly trying to get out of the
heat it's so hot today but you weren't bothered by dad's incessant talking well no of course i was
but remember my motto? Hmm? Remember what I told you when you were just like so fed up with Dad? What?
Pretending he's dying of... You caused it Joelle. He did die of cancer. Stop it! You manifested it.
That's awful. You're... I did not... Oh, you're are you firing me as your love coach stop it right now
no. But it was like it was another way of saying have tolerance because they're not going to be here forever and just have grace. That was when we were like 25. How could you
have tolerance back there? No no that was in high school when we were living together at Cree Court. Yeah that was very profound of you. Do you know that my sister and I went
to a world famous guru? You're not talking to me anymore. You're talking to our audience.
Who am I supposed to be talking to? You? Well I don't know. Yeah hi audience. Yes let's involve
our audience. In fact can I do a very quick shoutout? I was in the middle of a story. I know. I know. Put a pin in the guru. I want to say... By the way I put this on my little sheet. I do have a sheet!
Um where's episode 131? We had a question because we go from 130 to 132 if you go to mouseweens.com.
It is on Patreon because it had some personal information that my son decided he did not want
out there in the big world. So you have to go to Patreon and sign up for $5 a month if you want to get episode 131. A cup of coffee. Just like Sarah and Jodie and Megan
and Carla and Joyce. So thank you Patrons! Okay that's it. Alright so Dad. We went to a guru
and he said to... This is Ram Dass' partner Dale Borglum, Ram Dass, Stephen Levine and and
Dale started the Living Dying Project together to work with people who are transitioning to be more
conscious dying. It was in the 60s. Anyway Ram Dass got huge and famous, Stephen Levine died,
Dale Borglum he said this. Okay I'm going to pull up a picture of Ram Dass and show the the camera.
Go ahead. Okay yeah. Ram Dass uh was instrumental in the movement with Tim Leary. He was a Harvard
professor. They got fired for doing LSD uh therapy and trials. You were trying to Ram Dass me with that
molly suggestion earlier. Okay I'm dosing you. Uh the molly therapy. Not to digress but to digress.
They said it's equal to 20 years of marriage counseling in one mdma session
and they outlawed it. It's hugely amazing because you finally get out of your own head and you get
connected to your love center and you're able to talk openly about problems. You remember it
the next day. It's not like you're in some fruity land. Who supported the study? The MDMA producers?
No it's known to be hugely effective and they're trying to bring it back that and psilocybin
all right there's ram das everybody yeah guru he recently died and bearded and then yeah his buddy
Dale is who we talked to and Dale said... To get back to that topic. Yes that he looked at Joelle
and Joelle said something to him. We interviewed him for a documentary project about death and dying
and um he looked at Joelle and Joelle said something like, "Oh you know my sister. She's
more spiritual. I'm just here... I'm the scientist.." And he goes, "Joelle you are much more grounded your
sister and I. We're the neurotic ones. We're the ones that have to show up all the time and try to go to therapy and do meditation" which is essentially true I think. I know. that kind of threw me i was
like oh but you guys have all the answers you're like you're pretty grounded you don't really
have huge depression you're... You know what that's called basic. Yeah but just why going through life
That's not true though. You're wise and you're deep and I mean do you really think that you don't
think about deeper stuff? Like why are we here on the world and what does that mean> Well you think
it's a waste of time to think about stuff like that right? You're more like to-do list. Yeah yeah.
But you're happy. Yeah okay. So you got something figured out. And I know it. And I just clap my hands.
Yeah it's it's.. I don't know. It is the basics for me. But then again I I followed the little
you know americana routine. I got married, I have kids and live in the burbs and whatever. Life is
good. I knew you were gonna say that. I'm sorry. I know. So basic. So predictable.
I'm working on it. I'm gonna... Maybe I should do some some psychosolibene or what is the other
cybin mushrooms? They're doing psilocybin clinical trials and it's beating depression it's helping
with alcoholism drug addiction huge they're gonna they're trying to get a law pest in where they do
therapy with that wow this is exciting johns hopkins university's doing all these studies
that's good mm-hmm yeah i keep seeing it in the news but i haven't read much about it um a good
show on it sorry but i'll just say that michael pollan did a book all on this and on netflix right
now it's called how to change your mind okay all right watch it on netflix they have ones on lsd
mdma psilocybin ayahuasca oh no they didn't do that they did mescaline but it is interesting
to dig deeper it's not a it's not a surefire way of solving all your problems but it might
be a way to get some insight where you're seeing the world through your limited lens and then but
they're saying with guided you know clinicians not by yourself with your buddies right right so
yeah we talked about ayahuasca somewhere in one of our episodes and and then our buddy and his wife
they were talking about going to do a retreat where they do that and should we say names
because maybe they don't want people to know about that. True. That's true. We'll bleep it out. Cut it up. That'll be a fart. Um speaking of old friends, can I talk about this really quick?
Will you please come- -....? Yes but I didn't feel my I didn't finish my deal breaking list Oh gosh. We're jumping ahead.. I'm so sorry Yes I mean by the way I'm gonna finish it. No but have
you done any of those things or you're not gonna talk about that? Huh the drugs Yeah MDMA I did with
Um are you going to say names? N.o. Bloop And mushrooms I did with I'm sure he wouldn't care.
And that was a really profound thing that I got out of that is how definite nonverbal
communication is between two people. It was a huge insight. And I just heard yesterday in one of my
classes 85% of communication is done non-verbally between humans. Wow. So I was like magnification.
Yeah it is true. Vibes are everything man. And body language. And you become symbiotic with
your husband at some point. You're... Do you feel that already? Yeah I mean just in the weird, you know, ESP.
We call each other or say the same thing or yeah definitely. Insane kind of. You actually are sharing
I don't know what they said. Molecules are not hormones but.. We're like roots of trees. We're all talking to each other. We just can't see it. That's it, and you get oxytocin bonding with people. Anyway
right okay. So let me just go through this list okay real fast. Okay deal breakers! Immediately
don't waste time. He doesn't ask questions to show genuine interest in getting to know the deeper me.
Two. He's unavailable physical or emotionally. Three. He's mean and shows signs of disrespect.
He's dorky and has eye-- He has dorky eye rolling-humor. He's intolerant much like me and my dorky...
That one could be nuanced. If he's a great guy I wouldn't care about that he goes through the motions but is detached so he like shows up and pretends to be a good boyfriend
person but secretly is not all there you know yeah what if he's on his phone all the time
like yeah yeah also terrible right yeah i wouldn't do it he doesn't respect himself or others he lets
himself go fat health self-care hygiene replies he relies on parents for or others from money yes
would you do the thing like uh you you can't gain more than 20 pounds or i'm out of here that's pretty terrible but did someone do that well people have claimed that you know of course
it's the extreme but like this is my reason for divorce like in court and everything she signed a contract she wouldn't gain more weight and this is not what I married. This is not who
I married and I want out. Hence my first thing is that he respects and loves me for the deeper
person but i also wouldn't want to be so you don't have to sign the contract but he does
just kidding I mean no I get it. I get it. Just you get off if someone's letting himself go that much.
That means there's something else going on. Right. Or they need to get new medication right because it's the-- I almost said thalidomide. What's the part of the..? Uh thyroid. Thyroid. Okay he relies on
parents or others for money he doesn't like his family with no great reason his living space is dirty or smelly he has he's infantile in humor behavior or spirit he doesn't love animals he's
brash or hard. He's not emotionally spiritually ... not smart emotionally spiritually brain. He's
shady. He lies to benefit himself. Financially irresponsible. He sucks as a human being
I would feel weird if... I would feel weird bringing him around my family or friends like making excuses for him. He doesn't have my back. If he's not equal in the relationship effort
like driving, going to my stuff, supporting me and sex. Sorry mom. He doesn't like kids or adults, or
older adults. Done. Yeah. What do you think? That's a great list. Is it too much? I mean it's a long list.
This guy better be out there, perfect and wonderful. But I will say as a seasoned married person
you do have to let a few things go. I will but I'll find how to do those things for myself where that
guy doesn't have to do them, you know? What? I mean, no okay, this is what... I was just talking to someone
on the phone about if you fill that up in yourself then you'll let go on a few things. You know what I
mean? Like you might or if he's amazing you pick your five and you let a couple of those go. Pick
your top five. Yeah and then.. What so you mean like I'll work on that. If you find out he's a little
too money-motivated then you will donate extra to balance out that? Not that one. But okay for
example the one that you just gave me. If I figure out how to speak up more and interject my own
self maybe I wouldn't need him to ask me so many questions. Yes right. So maybe I'll figure out how
to balance that myself. Right because it all comes down to balance. And Jesus. Just kidding.
Okay. Yeah. Now what if you find someone who marks all the boxes but is like a is a born-again
Christian?That's... I can't imagine it would work. It could not work. That's too fundamentally different!
yeah don't you i mean it's a big big thing it has ruined lots of marriages where people thought we
can make this work i'm this you're that okay your middle spin is 100 atheist i would say
you're more agnostic. You let a little of the sun sunlight of the in. Right. Yeah. Yeah I
I'm uh I believe in all the gurus that all these people existed - the Buddhas and the Jesuses and the
all the good guys that taught good lessons. Well he might believe in that too because they actually did exist right i mean they're but he doesn't believe that there's a god he's spiritual to a
degree but then he's very scientific too so so he's not full-on atheist hundred percent like
everything else isn't true i'd say agnostic really okay i think because that lines up with who you
are I think right. Yeah I think we really do see eye to eye and more so the older we get and the
kids are out of that age where... In the beginning I was like, "Well it might be nice to go find a
community at a church and you know the Sunday school and it's the peer group and the youth
groups and just for that but then he really did kind of explain and show all the different ways
that kids can get kind of backdoor indoctrinated into a certain thought process. And yeah and I
did remember a lot of that growing up: of going to to youth camp. And yes it was fun but then
there were also moments when I was looking around and everybody was raising their hand and like oh jesus the spirit and i was like i guess i'm supposed to do that too and i'd be like
ah i did not know i didn't feel any spirit i was just like worried about did i put deodorant on it
was so awkward and then if mark hoover was looking at me with his little teeth and wanted to go on a
hike and kiss me again it was just i i was not moved by the spirit i was moved by be a good
person do well take care of others and so that's what i live by it's the golden rule stuff bam
you know the foundation of all religions if people just followed that it might be a better place yes all about love. Just like uh Michele said in our last episode. I hope everybody liked our
Pride episode with Steph and Michele. They they're the best. But it was great
yeah open-mindedness. Everything comes from love. And if you can operate from that place then we're all good. It's the judgment and uh all that yeah but it wouldn't be tough right because
even atheists say my way is smarter and better than all you guys and I think that's intolerance
it's even if you believe that you're better than I mean I don't know maybe don't say it. Maybe don't
have some tolerance for others. Yeah yeah exactly I um yeah. I have friends who are Christian and
i think we just kind of choose to not discuss certain topics because we know we're never going to change our minds and we still love each other and we talk about the good stuff and we can have
discussions and kind of say each of our points and y and then move on and it's not a big blowout so
that's great i'm just glad that those are my friends because anyone that had the judgment around it would not be i'm too old to deal with any of that
let me get my glasses again okay no no slumps no chumps no bible sumps yeah that's it joe
i like it thanks you sounded like dirty hairy okay so what else do you want to close out the dating
part of life here and then we can move on yeah yeah okay so next step so now that we have our list you have me in place ready to be your manager okay i would like to find some singles events to
accompany you two i'll be your wingman or i have some single friends i can wing woman make you
right right right wing woman i can make you uh you guys introductions and everybody can we and go out
together oh so we like the in-person thing but we also like the dating apps so where are you with
these you and me we're a team oh well i didn't say i like the dating apps oh well that's why i'm
asking what do you want to do next well i would like to maybe do the dating apps but it would
have to be probably not those free ones we'll take away all the freeze because if someone doesn't put
money into it then they're bottom of the barrel yeah this costs something i just point it down
whoa joe i hope you're talking about your knees yeah find good ones gotta invest in these knees
that's it yeah so maybe like we'll find a couple that are good solid ones and then i gotta i'm
putting putting them through a couple things i mean these guys really have to measure up to something they're gonna have to wait a little bit i'm gonna go through several dates before there's
any heavy petting or kissing we're gonna go through stages i got a dating plan wow going into
effect now you're not going to divulge this right this is all quiet behind the scenes stuff because
you and me will discuss but they don't know anything about this they're not going to find this podcast or listen to this episode right no i'm not going to tell them my last name for several
dates so you can't find any of this stuff yeah so there's going to be a heavy vetting process
look at you she's put on those glasses again okay what do you think about that okay good i like it
she wants to say soften her edges no i had a point and i was just thinking of something
um. So you're not going to get physically involved? We have stages and bases that we're going to hit.
Yes um how many? Okay so let's say we do an online uh thing that's paid. How many times do you have
to talk back and forth before you agree to meet and where would you like to meet and what would these dates look like? Well that's the part we have to figure out. Maybe we'll discuss that
next time we're in town because um I mean in town? I don't know. But we live upstairs and downstairs .
All right. Upstairs.. Wee Willy Winky runs through the town, upstairs and downstairs singing that song
rapping at the windows crying at the locks are the children in no beds for now it's eight o'clock
okay does anyone know wee willy winky please write in he's hot he's stuck
he's running around creeping in people's windows we don't probably know underwear under that no underwear like yeah or a night gown and a cap this is creepy with a candle start a fire
wrapping at the windows. Oh anyway this is what we grew up on. I love it. So my friend in New York was
online dating and she would like immediately want to do a Facetime meeting and kind of... She
said it was like a business interview and would ask her basic questions and if they pass that
then she would go for a coffee if they passed that and it was always limited time like one hour
She was all business and didn't want to waste time because - nice all this back and forth and this nuance and then you might meet them and or see them in facetime and you know they're not like
that and this was one of the hot tips from jules hannaford remember our episode when we interviewed
her how not to get catfished and dragged into something you need to see this person in real time
talking on a video too okay you want to make sure they're the real person but also didn't
she say she talked to him on video and he did seem legitimate and it was only until she met with him
in person yeah that guy really duped her but it's rare that that happened this is for those of you
who don't know this was a fellow podcaster who wrote a book and made a podcast about
her story of getting financially catfished and giving this creep this thief all this money and
and her life was really in danger it's a really good story episode it's called um uh fool me twice
yeah don't fool me twice no fool me twice fool me twice she also has a new episode about diamonds
it's a whole new series anyway uh yeah this has gone it's like huge too by the way yeah
so it's really big yeah it's she's doing it success story we love jules yay we love
you jules so i'm gonna take a note from jules's book and we'll see the guy on facetime but also
meet him make sure he's real and people get catfish a lot by the way it happens so any
and they'll they'll spend money at first remember what's the stupid documentary we watched about that guy the tender swindler oh yeah the tinder swindler
oh wait yeah what was the story now he would take money from he was like
made himself out to be this baller oh yeah use one woman's money to fly her jet plane
and go pick up another woman and then eventually he was like the long long haul guy who's six
months in would ask for forty thousand dollars and then maybe and he looked like he had a lot of money so people would and he was like people are after me and you gotta help me and he would send
the same bloody video like look they're after me then i just got punched so he punched punch okay
i did not punch you she doesn't get punched oh she's awful man aquaman
does anyone know what we're talking about so much fun with those sound bites oh my god
she was a terrible lady yeah see he was being led around by his dinky with that one well also
they were both clearly and i mean it's just like a classic toxic relationship i think yeah
yeah yeah when you saw all that joe did you relate to any of it like oh i've done that oh i did that
um we talked about this a little i can't remember i did relate to something which was
i don't remember okay well no i think it was just getting in a heated argument and but never
taking it that far of course but just those feelings of seeing red and just being so mad
and frustrated but then you add all his alcohol and drugs on top of it and then her craziness and oh those tapes just reminded me of our past well it'll come out in the documentary perhaps
the i'm speaking in code about oh yeah it's crazy yeah love addiction yes yes yes all right
moving on stay positive i want to start as soon as possible are you game because you are busy tell
our friends and listeners i started my master's program i'm doing a master's in social work and i
started my internship first week is over hitting the second week monday so monday through friday
it's a lot of stuff going on and lots of papers and reading coming up so it's a whole new world
a whole new crazy world you are super busy it's going to be a 60 hour work week for you going
to classes doing your internship so tell uh do you want to talk about where you're working yes
aging and independence so it helps hook older people who might need resources up with the resources so very nice and that's all i won't get too into it because i've only
been there a week and i'm not sure all this stuff but it's a great resource for people who might need caregiving or assessment for alzheimer's and dementia and help with anything
yeah there's so much out there people don't know about when they're talking out there and the whole idea is to get the get the word out that hey guys right you know right
the success yeah we we have elder help we both did that a while ago meals on wheels we've both done
and then um the jewish family services and they're all kind of pseudo interrelated and
good county money state money yeah and independent money but yeah it's all good stuff for there's a
lot of shut-ins out there and a lot of older folks doesn't that do you have a soft spark
smart for the olds i have soft farts and soft sports yes she does that was a lot of esses i'm
gonna have to edit it out so anyway we'll just say that there's that we both have a soft spot for the
older adults yes we don't say elderly we don't say seniors by the way older adults older adults
okay yep and then uh that was new terminology the golden years the best generation no golden news
older folks does older folks work no sure no yeah okay black folks older folks i don't know anyway
so that's something and then uh yeah we'll see i'm so proud of you julianne i just have to say i know
i'm not supposed to like that's a codependent thing to say i'm proud of you why because then you feel like you have to live up to something that i'm putting out there oh i'm not gonna worry
aren't you proud of yourself yes i love it but that's awesome you did it your straight a's and
now you're getting a master's degree all bubbles because all because of a because of covenant
the crazy film industry for a little bit enough to slow the f down so thank you world sorry about
the circumstances but i was very grateful thank you joe for saying that i appreciate you very much
and thank you for having me here how do you think that's going by the way because i'm at your house
i love a temporary amount of time but what do you think so far let's talk real talk real okay i love
having you here uh you know my my things i don't love flies flies open containers open containers
and dirty counters when you slash stuff on the counters and don't worry i don't slush there's a few green flops here and there green smoothies green smoothies she makes this green
smoothies every morning folks i can't get mad at that so you can't because that's it do you like those green smoothies love the green smoothies although it gives me an extra sit down
in the morning and sometimes i'm out walking the dog and i have to really walk fast home because it gets me moving if you know what i mean it's good there's a lot of good stuff in there
yeah you're you're great no i love it i think everything is good and are you gonna be i love you too and i love being here and you guys are wonderful
and i hope your husband feels the same way too because he's part of it does he get annoyed at anything no no you speak for him he doesn't no and you know that and i you keep making me check
in with him and i keep checking in with him and i keep reporting back that that's codependent sorry
it is though folks really yeah why i'll get over it because you're asking for someone
to validate you or give you approval it's like i told you if you guys have a problem just tell me that's as far as it should go yeah well that's fine it's like a fill out a
satisfaction card like fill out a survey how how happy are you these days so that's it we're just checking in taking the temperature how are you feeling though what bothers you about our house
there's got to be a lot no dogs uh your dog's ears smell like cheese
why is that the stinky blue cheese type yeah he's got an ear infection and he gets them
all year long all summer long when he swims it's yeast oh poor guys we tried though right we tried
the apple cider vinegar which is supposed to cure everything yeah i need to take them to the vet and get more actual medicine again we tried it okay homeopathic way did not work next are you going to
be resentful that i'm going to be spending a lot of time in my own world no not helping as much no
okay because you didn't help a lot before no i'm kidding you did of course you did i'm kidding no
the boys are so independent now you were helping me drive them maybe i wasn't hurting yeah you were you were i'm kidding it was a joke yeah the boys are you know what you can suck it i'm sick of that
i don't like when you act bad because you're actually an actress and it really worries me you really do look mad uh toby drives now so he takes his brother back and forth
so those two are off the slate i just have to pick up elliott at home i mean after football at night charlotte i love driving around i think it's fun and cute so
i'm happy to do that i love driving my kids around this is it i quit the garden i don't work there anymore thank goodness i am retired and handed on the baton to another elementary school
pair of moms yay and that was my goal was to make it a paid position make it a paid position and
joel why would you do that to yourself she just pooped herself she just green
smoothied out the back of her economically correct chair gee whiz that poor plant watch
everybody it's starting to wilt look at it just kidding she just lowered her chair she's like
only a head in there it's almost like i can smell it gross all right anyway um i don't
even remember what i was saying so all right i've handed on the baton so now i'm available to drive and i'm available to be a mom because this is so you like that you i asked you what is the most
important thing in your life and you said being a mom yeah it's one of them we'll say yeah no it
really is it's it's the number one thing that keeps me up at night that i wake up like okay
here i go on my day what you know it's top of mind all the time is has your anxiety gone away
in the middle of the night right oh right no i knew you were gonna go analyzing you
anyway can i just say i'm available because toby is a senior he's starting to look into colleges
right now we're starting the application process we have hired a lady to help him go through all his stuff um get him on track pick careers and oh it's a lot poor guy i feel bad all
that he's gonna it's so nice to have direction and guidance and help along the way so yeah you
guys are really wonderful parents i was telling someone that the other day how involved you are in their lives and you actually care about them and they're to a degree but then sometimes we
like when they just sit in front of that xbox because then it's not a lot of maintenance which is awful but you can get your stuff done but then i feel guilty because then they're
playing xbox all the time this is the middle one when he's not at football but i figure with football he needs a lot of down time i'm anxiety out right now aren't i i am doing it i do spin
out a little just worrying about the kids but i feel like i only have this much time left and i have to do it right i'm a perfectionist you do put a lot of pressure on yourself yeah you are
a number two on the enneagram scale which is the helper yeah you're a helper okay and your whole
your worth is helping others but you also want to hear thank yous and get appreciation for it
but thank you see this back it needs to be padded yeah and uh but you also care a lot about your
kids mom said it was her favorite job in the world was being a mom too yeah my that might
be fourth on my list but i think well you have to get the kids to be the mom yeah yes i like
to be the aunt but for you it was very important that you did that and you take it seriously so
it makes sense that i do think you might have a little too much anxiety around it because in my opinion you're doing a wonderful above and beyond job thank you but maybe you don't see how
other people are doing it so yeah it's less now i feel like now that they're more independent i'm kind of like okay cool you're on the right track i don't think they're gonna you know go off
and do mdma unless they listen to this episode uh only when you're married folks and you're over 25
and you need to spice up the bedroom um uh no i think and watching toby really mature and like working out and eating healthy and all enough
getting a job i mean like that's huge that to me is just like ah it's almost worried they've flown
the coop yeah yeah yeah he's number one i didn't know what this was going to look like so he's
the firstborn and he's doing great joe you did it straight a's all as well second kid straight a's
he needs a little more direction but he is only 15. so straight a's so he's very social he's got a different personality and loves his buddies and loves his xbox
[ __ ] what about okay we won't talk about that what ladies he's started to date but you're
hearing well that's episode what did i say 131 so that's on patreon you can go there to hear that um
yeah and Charlotte is great too and she's just starting cheer competitive cheer and that's her
new little world and it's very athletic they have to be really strong and throw kids up in the air and stuff she's like gymnastics Yeah she's a spotter kind of I'm making sure she
doesn't go that snooty cheerleading route because I had a problem with those people in high school
so I'm making sure I'm giving her her Nirvana guitar lessons. Good. Throwing in some Radiohead
in there. Yeah I'm sure she stays grounded in in important things. Like guitar. Like guitar.
Yeah no she is. I think she'll always be that kind of person too. I don't think she'll ever go too excited even if she has wacky friends i think she'll just kind of straighten her i hope she's
the diplomat too yeah so yeah it's cute though she's going through all her stuff and you know
started sixth grade started middle school this is a whole new world and dabbling with eyeliner and
little you know cares about her appearance a little bit more and weird to see huh yeah
and we had to buy some female products to put under the sink just in case and you i i
can i just tell you what i saw the other day i came out of the back room and i'm going in there
and i hear this mom in charlotte's going god and the two boys are on the couch and they're going
geez i'm like what are you doing and you're like no i just want to tell you that you put this in
your underwear and you put these little flaps around so they stick on and i'm like what is she training her kit and i see that you're telling him how to put in a pad but you're right in
front of the two boys charlotte already took off down the hall so what was happening well okay so
we had our peri-menopause episode and as we know we're both slowing down in life which is perfectly
fine okay i also can i say brian lee my good buddy brian lee who supported our show he wrote
me the other day he's like i just listened to 55 minutes of your perimenopause and he's a lovely
man friend of mine he's like i don't know why i listen to the whole thing but just so you know i know what's going on now oh and then uh sam leaf my good friend just she listens to all
of our episodes so shout out to my two buddies who are listening brian thank you and sam just
asked me to go to the high school reunion by the way yay let's go it could be fun please go we're
gonna talk about that sam i love you i just hated high school but we'll talk about it but okay these
are the the okay people maybe maybe sam's amazing i love her she was but um anyway keep going with
your story oh okay so perimenopause so i'm slowing down in the in the monthly department uh and but
it's like a little i was telling my friends it's like a little air fart it's just a little like a couple days of spotting and it's so stupid and it's like i could still make a baby but
i can't i can't have four days the other day but then right so this is when it started was when you
walked out and saw me i was getting a pad it's not like i was demonstrating and my pants were down in
the living room or anything like that i just held it up and i said i think you guys need to see this and this is how you take the tabs off and you were if you were to put it in underwear go like this
it's like a sticker and you wrap the wings around so it doesn't you know uh bleed menstrual pad guys
yeah yeah so it has wings and the boys i'm like you know what you need to know this too because
you might have a girlfriend or you know a wife or a sister you might have to help charlotte i
don't know like boys need to know this too there's nothing worse than meeting a guy who doesn't know the difference between a pad and a tampon? I'm like "come on." We're at... where are we?
More than half are women. More than half the species or there're more probably women than men. They're more
than the good half. So how do we like not know this yet people? So anyway I wanted to educate
therefore I did. I love that you talk about all this stuff. This is what our dad did with us. So a positive wonderful shout-out for our dad teaching us all this stuff and uh
yeah. Trying to erase the answering machine message comment? Yes. Wow. That's okay. I feel bad I'm always
talking about the bad stuff. But you remember the bad stuff sometimes more than the good. And for me it happened yeah he was.. The negative talkers that want. That one negative comment
can outweigh the 100 positive comments. It's a very strong thing in our brains that's primal true true helps us with survival fact and how dare somebody just talk into a machine for an hour
dad here we are i know we're having see we love conversation i know and we had all our tapes
he was the original podcaster by the way we need to digitize all his tapes and videos because he
made us this way and uh he made us always so all the good things you have to say three
positive comments when you say one negative comment about someone to outweigh it so he was a great archiver he cared so much about us that he would record us as little kids so
someday we could hear ourselves as adults and and that has been true and so precious.
And he taught us about periods and female anatomy on a Bionic Woman who was invisible. You could see
inside of her right? No. No it was a solid uh Barbie but she was just huge. So he drew with a pencil
where her uterus was and fallopian tubes and ovaries. And yeah see I don't know why but I
thought I had a memory of him showing me with a banana and melon and.. I know. Why do you say that?
Did I make that one up? I don't know. Maybe I got a different talk. I think the second kid gets it
because they have just had it. They put too much effort in the first kid and the second one just gets a banana in a in a cantaloupe. You mean and they move on. It's possible. we always had fruit on the
on the counter he was a health nut too. So he probably was busy. They were like, "She's fine. She'll land on her feet. He probably had the sperm as the raisins and the yeah the eggs were the almonds and
there was a banana and a melon. So now when I order fruit salad it's a whole different experience
always. Dried apricots. Those are probably the fallopian tubes. Yeah the ovaries. Oh
god dad ruined okay fruit salad forever. And one more thing about dad - go Jo. He's a fun
funny person and we had so much fun with him. And we are starting to run out of time I think, right?
Are we at time? Let's end this sucker all right? All right. It's been a fun sucker but
I have lots to talk about in our next one. Uh I went to London. We'll do a little London recap
yeah on the hottest day of london's history by the way yes all right don't don't ruin my lead story
i'll tell you entice okay it's enticing hear what happened on the hottest day in london's history i
was there um other fun things oh i have a lot of fun articles that were in the news that i want to
discuss oh there she goes again as soon as i start talking you tune out you like no i'm not you're
not i was getting closer to the mic okay she just turned into a small small person in her screen
um and my tooth debacle um what else jaws jaws boobs we were gonna talk about that that'll come
up next time what's wrong with your boobs uh we'll talk about it next time are you gonna get them chopped off enticing i don't know let's talk about it next time i'd like to talk about my boobs too
okay i'm starting to look like a lady in national geographic that's nursing a pig we'll talk about that next time i always remember that picture traumatizing it's not funny they need
resources there oh my god wow wow well you know maybe there's a market for that but anyway okay
boys and girls thank you for listening thank you patrons we appreciate your your being there and
helping keep the lights on over here and uh everyone who listens and i'm sorry it's been so long it's just been kind of a summer break for us we took a little bit of a she said that
we're getting we're getting back to our weekly catch-ups and and hopefully she's been touching
her boobs stop it stop piglets attached all right we love you guys and we'll see you next week
all right let's play it back
did you know your tape recording it
fish are jumping
whom do you love and what would be your intro song all this and more on today's brilliant observations
okay how cute is that introduction and that song that belongs to brilliant observations
podcast that was melissa talking in comes amy here they are like our cool doppelgangers
on the east coast and they're moms and they're fun and they're funny and it's chat and conversational and they're our friends check it out brilliant observations beau caretov
it just means good morning sounds like pimp your ride it just means good morning ride
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