April 25, 2021

E110 - Easter Dog, Feckit, Paul Williams, and Microaggressions

Easter afternoon we took the podcast for a walk on the dog trail. Are you into Jesus?! We talk traditions in our house, and the hunt for the golden egg brings up the trophy-for-all discussion. Hear Juls' hot take on overconfident kids and practi...

E110 – Easter afternoon we took the podcast for a walk on the dog trail. Are you into Jesus?! We talk traditions in our house, and the hunt for the golden egg brings up the trophy-for-all discussion. Hear Juls’ hot take on overconfident kids and practical parenting. We’re interrupted by dog fight drama, but Weens quickly channels her Cesar Milan-style advice. We discuss the changing dynamic of our sisterhood and how the little sis is now teaching the big sis. This ties into Joelle’s new favorite idea: The Feck It Fifties complete with a Feckit List, because life is short, who cares what people think, and family is important! In an Ishtar segue, we talk about songwriter, actor, Grammy winner Paul Williams and what happened when Mom and Julianne stayed at his house! We get into Weens’ sociology and psychology studies and learn about microaggressions, schemas, and body language to quickly size a person up. Hot example is Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s paparazzi scuffle back in the day, so of course Joelle paid attention! This also reminds us of the 4-part Showtime series “Love Fraud” about a real hunt for a dirt bag narcissist. Talk about microaggressions! Enjoy an awkward double hello with neighbors in a very “Curb Your Enthusiasm” tinkle moment, and be sure to follow and subscribe everywhere you can find our podcast! Video podcast version on http://bit.ly/youtubeMW Thank you so much for watching and listening!

Song Credits: Mouse and Weens theme and “Beautiful Girl” by Julianne Eggold https://www.julianneeggold.com

Voice Actor: Matt Thompson

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Promos: PodFix Presents, I Shake My Head with Lisa and Sam, and The Filmmakers Podcast, all part of the https://PodFixNetwork.com

Hot mentions: Brilliant Observations Podcast, Michele Harper of @MetaphysicaSpa color therapy, Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink”, narcissism expert Dr. Ramani

Please follow and contact us via Instagram | Twitter | Facebook @mouseandweens We’d love to hear from you about the show or just to talk at (858) 206-8746 or mouseandweens@gmail.com. A transcript of this episode is on http://www.mouseandweens.com

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00:00:05 - 00:05:00

Hello and good day. This is Queen Elizabeth. With the passing of my dear husband, all I do is sit in the corner and listen to my favorite podcast, Mouse and Weens oh with a bit of tea of course. Don't touch my biscuit! <Mouse and Weens theme music>

Oh hi everyone! It's Mouse and Weens. We're walking. We're on a walk. We're in the same area. We thought we would try a new format for a weird podcast. It's happening right now. I'm using my best camera skills. We're holding a tripod. Look at her. She's walking like this strange boom operator. That's good!

So Weens. Yo. You're here for Easter. Thanks for coming down. That's nice. Tell me what you thought of the whole experience. I think Easter is an interesting holiday. Why? Because we celebrate it with eggs and also bunnies and then for Jesus. Are you into Jesus? Am I into Jesus? I don't know no. No. I think he was a cool guy. I think he taught some cool lessons once. I'm not necessarily into him. Get into the camera will you? Well focus more on the conversation, not the camera angle. Well I just stepped on the dog. All right now.... Are you into Jesus? Wait. I want to talk about this because it is odd that like, you know... Is it odd? Or is it God? He rose for our sins and that's what we celebrate: this rock moving. He sort of rose more for your sins if I remember correctly. You were the bad one. You have more sins than I do. Okay! I think it's good... Here, I need to like put my arm around you to stabilize myself. No, it's totally turned into the commercial candy, eggs, bunny, hiding, seeking, holiday... And drinking! And drinking and family and brunch. And it's sweet. I don't know. It's just a nice little dumb tradition in our family now so... We did the.... Will you talk about what you can with the children involved about what we did this morning? Right. Well just the night before usually... Last night I didn't because you were here and I got distracted. But I usually pack up the baskets after the kids go to bed and we dye eggs and they're sitting on the counter. And then that's what the Easter bunny seems to find and go hide every morning. And I have nothing to do with that. It's purely the Easter bunny but the-- You're tuning out! You're not listening! You're not-- You're purely bunny...  I'm hearing everything! And then the kids realize that Dave and I usually - and you this time - go and hide the plastic eggs. Yeah so that's what we did. But we hid all the eggs real early. We packed up eggs with coins and dollars and candy and it was great. It was fun. It was great. We had a blast. Now there's two stuffed eggs right here. Look. I look quite wide. I did not do Covid well, you guys. I'm doing this workout. This is the angle guys and actually let's talk more about the gals because this gives you a nice felt neck. Felt neck? I forgot my s! Nice velour neck?

Watch out Wrigley! Come here! Geez Louise. Dude. Oh look! It's her husband! Oh my God! Hi! We missed you! Yeah we're trying a new format. What do you think? Do we look attractive? Yeah that's what I think. All right, bye. Thanks for taking care of that car. Bye Wrigley! Wrigley, that was daddy! Wow. We do kind of look like goobs huh? Judgment on wheels. Yeah this is my whole life. Hey this dog is about to trip me.

So what do you what do you remember from our Easter holidays growing up? I remember lupine. Did anybody have that kind of flower that blooms in Easter? We have some down at the school. We could keep walking and go see it. Oh really? Yeah. So that reminds me of Easter. Good purple flowers that only come up for a brief moment in time. And uh daffodils if I remember correctly?  A little bit, yeah. No? Excuse me!

00:05:01 - 00:10:02

Excuse my French, garden lady. I guess they're not daffodils! When do those...? They do but it just comes and goes so fast here. Maybe it was more up north. I don't remember that. I remember you. I remember going to grandma and grandpa's in the East Bay in like Hayward or whatever, and doing egg hunts. Going to their church - the nice Lutheran church. Yeah. And doing egg hunts with like random kids at the church. Do you remember that? Nope. And they would be like, "One, two, three, go!" and shoot the gun or whatever it was. And then... This one is competitive. You would probably start knocking down kids.... And it was like, "Find the golden egg!" There was always the golden egg! It was so exciting to try to find it. I never found it. That's all I wanted was the golden egg!  "I got the golden ticket..." There's only one thing. Gold. But that's kind of how it should be, right? Shouldn't we compete for the one thing? Not everybody gets everything? I think we should give kids medals for everything for being the biggest loser! Is that a good tactic? Yeah, because as a non-parent what do you think of the whole trophies for everybody and everything? No, I like the idea. Well I had an ex-boyfriend - another one - but his parents would play every game when they were kids and they would just win because they knew the rules and they were like, "Well when you win, you win." So there was no cheating, no sliding. The parents never played easy is what you're saying? Yes. Okay. And if they borrowed money they had interest they had to pay back. Wow. It was a whole very real world experience. Transactional. This is what life is like out in the world. This was cool? Yeah so he seemed to think that was... And how did he turn out? Well.... That's the real question, right?! I can't make any value judgments. I'm not going to place... I have no idea. Okay, we'll just say that there are different ways of parenting. I don't know. He seems to really get along with his parents so that's good. He seems to respect them and thought it was a great way to grow up. He's like, "You don't want to be easy on someone because you want to show them what it's like," but he was kind of laughing about it. Yeah it's... it's hard as a parent because you want to boost their self-esteem. You want them all to feel good about themselves and you don't want someone to walk away from Easter feeling like a loser do you? Or maybe you do? I don't know. But then if you're too easy, then they have this false sense of confidence like Pickup Sticks today! Really?! I let that kid win once and then he was like, "Yeah! I totally slammed you!" I'm like, "Not really. I let you get a couple of those free!"

Oh. Oh wait. There's some dog action. He's in the crows, folks. Wrigley! Come here! This is not your house. Come on! Wrigley, get out of the crows! Don't poop! Oh April I'm sorry! Oh Wrigley. Where is this pooper? Wrigley just took a 'do on their... There he goes! This dog. Entitlement! This is April and Cam's house and they... He's the local dentist. Well he's a local dentist who has a couple of rotten eggs! Now I was gonna make a tooth joke. Instead I went with rotten eggs since it was Easter. It didn't make much sense but that also translates to poop.

Okay now here's a guy. I guess we're not worried as much about wearing masks. You don't see people walking around with them anymore which is kind of... Maybe scary. It's about to get awkward. Is it? Oh no. Happy Easter! Okay! All right! Do you want to keep this.... God! You almost put that in my mouth! Oh yeah! What are you going to do with it? I don't know. She's holding it, waving it around.... What's awkward is when you have to jog with poop in a bag because then it whacks you in the wrist the whole time. Is it warm and squishy? Yeah. So this is compelling. I want to show you the mountains though. I do like the view out there. Look at that, folks. If you go this way, it looks like a John Denver album cover. <singing "Rocky Mountain High in Poway. Country Roads.">

So with Pickup Sticks, was my was my kid a jerk? I want to hear about this. Well they get overconfident. Really? Like, "Yeah, I nailed it!" And then when they lose they're just like saying that thing like, "Let's play again." But I think that's the nature of being you know 15, 16. So did you go easy on them the second time or a third time? After you say a cocky thing? Yeah, Aunt Nan does not play nice. Oh good. So then I beat him a couple times just to show him who was still the adult! You guys were down there for a while. You did some Chinese Checkers?

00:10:02 - 00:15:03

Yeah have you guys ever played Chinese Checkers? Uh-uh. Well, you get your little marbles on your little checkers... Marbles! <holds up poop bag> And then you move them up to the top. It's kind of like checkers, guys. That's why it's called Chinese Checkers. Anyway, moving on. Um yeah.

I like to walk with you and it's nice that we're still friends. Don't you think that's interesting? Do you know sisters who like hate each other? What are these guys talking about? It's some crow action happening. A lot of crow action. Whoops. We'll go this way. Happy Easter! Sisters who don't get along: I'd like to... I always... I don't know. I'm interested in the stories. I know that some siblings don't get along and they just kind of go through life like business - transactional type. I know of one who hasn't talked to her brother in years and just kind of said, "Yeah we just don't have that kind of relationship" And I go, "Really? For how long?" "Ten years. It's good." "Do you ever call him for any reason?" "No." "Oh. I wonder. Are you worried?" "No." "Okay, um..." and it's just sort of not that way in the family. But it's no bad blood. Yeah. Yeah, different. We were....

These dogs are too crazy. I don't like this path anymore. They bark.... I want to.... Is it bad to want to throw um... Poop somewhere? No maybe just a poison steak over a fence? Joelle!!!  I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I would never do that. But I do want them to move. Can I make them move? Just for passing some barking dogs? Yes! So, well, they're so annoying! Do you hear them? They just... they ruin my whole.. I want to go on that trail and I don't! Let's just go on the trail right now. No it's a whole freak-out thing. Last time I dropped my phone and my coffee. Let's just run through. Let's see what it's like. Come on! Adventure! Yeah! Get rid of that poop. Put it on the curb, will you? No that's the worst! I'll get written up on Nextdoor! You leave your poop bag, you'll pick it up. No nobody does it. All right. Ready? We're going to go as fast as possible. Okay Wrigley. Here we go! We're going to see what it's like. Action!

Oh my god! Oh I didn't wear my sports bra! Oh she's jurgling her eggs. Watch out! Aaah the poop's banging me in the boobs! No! Wrigley! Aaaaaahhhhh!

Oh! hahahahahah!

That was not Cesar Milan's finest moment? What do I do? What the heck?! That's what happens every time! Just barrel through! You know what I would take him off the leash and let him do his thing and then you just keep walking. Really? Yeah. They get more aggressive when they're on a leash. He'll do it anyway but you know...  The last few times I blocked his eyes like a blinder and I was like, "Leave it. Leave it." And we just like intensely walked by and he didn't bark. He didn't go after anyone. They still barked but it was a little better. There you go. Just get some horse blinders. All right now listen to how quiet. It was all worth it. Now we're on a trail. Was it really though? Did anyone want to see my fat sign? Side? Hindsight? Signs? Cyanide? I can't talk. Stephen Sondheim? It's stressful. Oh yes, but now we're on a miracle path. Look at this!

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Those orange blossoms! Smell that? This is California. It does smell so good here. All I smell is the poop bag! Would you....? All right....

Wait, back to siblings. We never closed that up. So  I'll just talk about positives. Yeah it's nice that we're friends. That's true. But am I really? You still call me Charlotte all the time. Do you still think of me as your little sister? I do. Do you think of me as someone who needs help? No. It's just you're littler. You're the little woman in my life. I can't help it. But I'm huge! Look how little you are? I'm like six-four! I don't know. It's just a birth order thing. Is it a maternal feeling you feel towards me or is it more like...? What's your vibe? Maybe a little but these days you're teaching me more than I'm teaching you. Oh balls! Sorry, your dog is right under my foot. I know. Go Wrigley! Go on! You're fine. What am I teaching you about? <whispers "I like these talks!"> Being like a better parent and not caring as much about sh-t and... Not caring about your kids? That's not good parenting! No, but just like letting it go. Let it go, you know?

I went to lunch with some girlfriends for my birthday and I'm 49 now. Jo! They were talking about, "What's on your bucket list for this year? This is your last year of your 40's. What do you want to get done? What do you want to do?" And just... I don't know. I didn't have a whole lot to add to it. But my friend Daphne said, "You're gonna enjoy this year and next year." She goes, "You know what happens?" ...because she turned 50 last year. She's a year ahead of me. She said she's adopted this new thing called Feckit Fifties! And she and her boyfriend have this thing and it really is like "Feckit!" You want to do it, do it! You don't think people are going to like it? Do it anyway! Whatever! Feck it! Feckit 50s! Yeah! And so she's doing all the sh-t that... Like what? Well, I don't know. Just like, personal stuff that she's always wanted to do that she hasn't done. Like bucket-listy stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bucket List and... Feckit List! The Feckit List! So it was great. I loved hearing that and I'm kind of like, "Yeah!" You know, "Why do we spend all this time worrying about people and what we should do, shouldn't do, society, blah blah blah blah." I mean of course there's rules but...

Which you're obviously not.... Okay, now she picked up the dog (leash). Hey, let go of that dog! Well, he's so attached to you! He has to be on your left side. I don't know what's going on. Cesar Milan! This is not a normal walk. Because I taught him to jog by me without a leash. Really? Anyway so I don't know what prompted all that. Do you want to really go down this weird path? No, I think we should do this u-turn. Let's go this way.

Give me the breakdown of what you think the family dynamics are when you come to visit San Diego when you see me and Dave and the kids? And then his parents join in and then his brother and his family join in? I know so much history it's hard to be detached. Yeah. But I think that everyone seems to get along well and it's... It seems like a good... Okay, you want the positives or...? I'm going to start with all the positives because there are way more positives which are they do seem to have fun together. You guys seem to like each other and laugh a lot. They gave each other little secret kisses. I saw it! I creeped and I looked and they kissed each other like little <kiss noises>. Not me and the grandparents. Just me and Dave, right? No you and Dave's dad! Sick! Don't hit me with a poop bag!  <sniffs> Joelle! That's disgusting! I was kidding. Your husband. Don't! Look at her! She's waving the bag with victory. You are competitive and weird! That's poop! And German. She's obsessed with scheissen. She brings it up all the time! Weird! Anyway, she was kissing her husband. What did you think? I....? Well, I don't know how it is in the family behind closed doors. Oh okay. But it's cute. You guys love each other and after all these years. It works out. It works out. So that was cute. I like how you guys all... It's very important to have family time.

00:20:19 - 00:25:00

So I feel like we're in like Ishtar or something. Look at that sun in the background. I know! Really! By the way, the opening song to Ishtar was written by Paul Williams who also wrote "The Rainbow Connection". I also watched his cats. Mom also played his piano and ran out of his house when he was home by accident when I thought he was out of town. Weird but um... We never did tell that story. We never told that story in the podcast. We tried recording it a couple times and it didn't work out. But, yeah, we could tell a longer version. Basically I was watching Paul Williams' cats. If you don't know who Paul Williams is, he wrote "The Rainbow Connection." And he was the little guy Sonny in.... The Planet of the Apes? Oh in Cannonball Run or something, right? (sic Smokey and the Bandit) No. He also was in Planet of the Apes. Oh. He was the blonde one. I wasn't making that up. Cannonball Run. He's the little guy. And he was on the Muppets all the time. He wrote "It's Just An Old-Fashioned Love Song" and also "Some Say Love It Is..." Okay, anyway, I was watching his cats. He was friends... Whatever... Let's go to the short story. No, how do you know him? That's the story. That's exciting Warren. Okay. And another member in Warren, my ex's, band was... His sister's married to Paul. So Marianne Williams. Oh. Mariana. I'm sorry. I have too many Marianne's in my life. The one that ran for president? Yeah Mariana Williamson. Marianne Williamson. Anyway. Good.... good tie-in. Thanks. To make a short story short.... as my agent Abbott Bloomberg used to say in New York. He got me no jobs. He was like 98 when I first signed up. They call him Abbott NoJobs. Yeah. To make a short story short. Anyway, uh, point: Paul Williams. We were watching his cats. I was watching his cats that weekend. Warren and I would sometimes. And that weekend mom was in town. So we went to Paul Williams' house and mom said, "Oh great. Well I'm coming to visit you guys and stay with you, Warren. But we can go over there and just stay a couple nights and watch the cats and stay over there at their beautiful house on the water." I  said, "Okay, great. We'll go over there." And mom brought her suitcase. We were all ready to go. We went into the house with the key. We went and then I said, "Oh look at that! There's all this cool stuff." Like him, Paul Williams, drinking cognac with Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. And then there's a freaking uh not a Grammy. What's the thing that you win when you write "The Rainbow Connection?" A Grammy! Okay, that. So that's sitting there. And then is baby grand piano. So mom was like, "Oh this is amazing." And sat down and started playing like one of his songs. It might have been "Rainbow Connection." I'm not.... I can't remember. All of a sudden we hear this, "Hello?"
We look up on the balcony. Who's there? Paul Williams in his boxers brushing his teeth! He goes, "Hi." I'm like, "Hi." And guess what happened? Mom grabbed her suitcase and took off! And I looked around and go, "My mom and I...." Guess who wasn't there anymore? My mom! I was standing by myself. We know what happens in trouble. Mom is gone. It's like Dave Barley and the bear! It's Dave Barley pushing me into the bear, which we'll tell another time. That was my ex-boyfriend. He was on last episode. But basically I got the weekend wrong. So he was home, was the whole thing. And my mom is gone. I'm like, "I am so sorry." But he's so cool. He's such a nice guy and he was like, "Yeah. That's fine. Whatever." Did he notice mom running out? Did you have to explain? She was gone in a flash! You would just think that it was like that Santa Claus thing of just <<flash noise>>. All you see is a shoulder?  Yeah, all I saw was a shadow and her shoulder! I don't even know how she got that bag in front of her or anything! Just gone! And then I go... I'm like, "Mom!" And she's sitting by the car just like, "What happened?" I'm like, "Well, it would have been nice if you would have known what happened with me!" Anyway. So did you explain to Paul you got the weekend wrong... I'm so sorry...I'll be back? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was totally fine. He was like, "Yeah, okay." He's so chill. A nice guy. So all is well. Yeah I'm sure musicians in LA are used to wacky situations. People walking in their house when they're brushing their teeth. Oh! That's so funny. That was not fun. And Mariana still does Long Beach storytelling. So she does like a Moth storytelling if anyone's ever.... Oops, this is happening. What? Oh low power mode. Oh. Anyway. Wait can we look at this little field? This is my favorite little spot to walk. Here, why don't you direct traffic? Oh my gosh. 

00:25:00 - 00:30:05

It is a little BMX track just because the local kids wanted somewhere to ride their bikes and they haven't built a house on here yet. But you'll see, it's so cute because all these little wildflowers pop up on it and everybody uses it with their kids riding their bikes around. Yeah, it's so sweet. And then the trail continues this way. So we'll go up here. All right. Wait! I have a joke. Oh. <<Julianne jumps out of bushes saying, "Raare!">> That was so... That was great. Good stuff. Did it work? Yeah perfectly. That's good. Let's keep walking. All right.

What were we saying before that whole story? You were talking about Dave, parents... Do you enjoy the family gatherings? You guys do them often. Yeah it's cute and I realize, you know, time goes so fast. It's been 16 years since we got married and we're all, you know, older and slower and quieter a little bit. Kind of like your dog who keeps walking right in front of us? Yeah go Wrigley! So it's um fast and fleeting and I realize the kids are gonna be, you know, maybe off to college at some point and these moments won't necessarily happen all the time. I don't know. So it's kind of sweet to have them and document everything and enjoy the little talks. And they love them and yeah it's so nice. Yeah it's such a different world. I come here and it feels like normal family stuff. And then I go back and it's just instantly like bachelorette pad life. Really? It's kind of just different. That's all right. I know. And then I of course wish for that because as soon as everybody left today what did I do? I put on my headphones and listened to Brilliant Observations! Yeah! Amy and Melissa! And shredded papers and did dishes and I love that quiet time but... You do instantly dive into your escapism mode of podcasts. I know. Which is probably good and healthy. I do need the balance. It's my thing. I don't know. That's good. Wrigley you're so huffy! Do you think this audio is going to be all a dog huffing? Huffington the whole time. Go Wrigley! Go! Hit him with the bag of poop. Go! <sings> What are you gonna do with the bag in your hand of poop?

Okay so we were talking also about how you were teaching me things. Oh yeah. What have you learned that you want to carry with you from my teachings? I want... Actually I do want to hear about - and I know you're like oh it's just school who cares - but I do want to hear about what you're learning in school. All the sociology stuff and the psychology stuff. I know you're learning about Native American stuff and racism. Teach me! I didn't get to go that track. All of it? Yeah! You know what's interesting to me is that people can probably... You get real specific. So you could miss like... Do you...? Well, let me ask you, because you went to college and do you feel like you got a really well-rounded education or was a lot...?  No I don't because I was science so everything was science, science, science. And I did wish I could take more psychology. And I took child psychology when I was a freshman or sophomore. Did you like it? Yeah I did. And I did drama. That was fun and but.... Why don't we hang back a little. I would have liked to do a little more of that kind of stuff. So yeah. What'd you learn in child psychology? Did any of it...? I don't... I don't know. It's all just sort of....

Look at this outfit! I never look until I look. This with these glasses? With the... It's cute. I like it! You look good. These are the glasses we got for like seven bucks at the.... Yeah, which Michele Harper sells some other ones. Oh! <blowing noise> There's a bug on me? Mmhmm. Um we talked about colored glasses in one of our Instagram posts and I'm gonna buy the whole set. Because Toby was looking at my pink ones and he's like, "Mom I like those but I don't like that shape. I would wear them if they looked different." And I showed him Michele's and he's like, "Oh yeah." So I'm gonna buy him the set of Michele's colored glasses because she has a whole thing. And what is it? MetaphysicaSpa. If you go to Instagram @metaphysicaspa You can buy her whole set of rainbow glasses. She does color therapy and every color puts you in a different mood. And it's good for all different ailments. So I have green on right now. That's for vitality. That's to feel life and livelihood and energy. I feel alive! And yeah, that's good! So you are like a tiger. There she goes. Okay not that much vitality. Let's walk.

Seriously though, will you teach me something? Sure. Right now in social psychology, which is interesting, we are learning about things like... It goes so fast but microaggression is something that... There's this famous... I think he's Japanese. I can't remember his name. This happens often. And he teaches you how to read facial expressions when somebody... Because the basic thing

00:30:05 - 00:35:05

I'm learning overall is people think they're much more intuitive than they are. And what they're doing is quick sizing up. They're called schemas. We use schemas to quickly... Our brain can't spend all the mental energy to process every time we're in a new situation or a new thing. So we pull from our past, which is kind of logical, and we quickly size a situation up. So it keeps us safe and it also kind of gives us a basic idea of a person when we quickly look at them. And sometimes it's accurate. There's a lot of studies where those quick first impressions, like Malcolm Gladwell had the book Blink and it's about... You kind of can suss something up really quickly. And it's right a lot of the times. But then also we're very quick to size someone up and put them in a little box and then not take into consideration they have this vast world of emotions and other things that... We're just going, "Oh he's the kind of guy that..." Right. Like, "My husband's not emotional."

<<Dogs barking ferociously>> Oh here we go! Jesus! Come on! Oh! Go! Go! Oh god! Come on! The dog will follow will follow! The dog! He'll follow! Just go! Wrigley! Wrigley! He's right there. <<Gets quiet>> See? All you gotta do is blow through it! Okay. Yeah! <<Dogs start barking ferociously again>> Baaahhhh! Here they come again! They suck! They come back! I want these people to move! MOVE! Don't Joelle! They need to move! They just have dogs! What do you want them to do? They have sucky dogs that need manners and muzzles! They're protecting their house! Your dog would do the same thing. Joelle, tolerance! Okay she's sizing these people up. Terrible animal owners, she's calling them. They have a tennis court. I'm just jealous. I want a tennis court. She secretly wants a tennis court. That's where we're talking about. And a nice bocce ball area with like pretty party lights. It's so cool. I love their backyard. See? Envy. So let's talk about that. Green with..... <<holds poop bag up to camera>> I'm gonna light it on fire put it on their porch! Get that poop bag out of my face, for Christ's sake! Christ is our savior. Back to Easter.

All right back to microaggressions. So yeah things like that. I'm finding that I have a tendency to do that where I'll think I'm so smart. That's the other thing: we all think we're so good at this. Like poker tells and like, "Oh yeah that's the kind of guy that listened to grunge music in the 90's. He probably lives with his mom in the basement." Yeah. You know? But he might be a guy that's a secret PhD. We have no clue. Right. So the idea is like.... Was this the whole Gwyneth / Chris Martin thing you sent me? That was part of that class? Yes, one example. I mean there all these tiny subcategories of all of this so I'm giving you a broad two second version of just what's happening lately. But they use the example of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Of course she's gonna remember this. I had to send it to her. She's in love with Chris and Gwyneth. I'm not in love. We're.... we're not sure if she would do anything with Gwyneth too. I'm in deep like. At this point the jury's out. But they have pictures of Chris Martin or Chris Martin beat up a pap..... Why don't you talk? I can't apparently. They showed a picture of Chris Martin beating up paparazzi because he jumped out of his car after <whispers feckin dog> Uh what was the story? He beat up a paparazzi. The world thought he was terrible. And everybody, yeah. They were like, "What a jerk!"  So our quick... Gwyneth Paltrow's awful husband - and she's awful too - they're awful. <Murmurs let's stay on this (path). We don't have to see people. Watch out.) And uh yeah so they all put them in this category of awful. So he gets a reputation of being this paparazzi beater and everyone hates him for a while and it was... What we don't know.... So we do that all the time, right? We just go right to "what a jerk!" Yeah. And we size someone up really quickly based on a photo, based on a whatever situation. And what really happened was Gwyneth... They had just gotten out of the hospital where she had a miscarriage which no one knew about. I didn't even know about it. And then a paparazzi was right in his face. She didn't know about it. Social psychology class Ms Callahan does and... She didn't even know his name. I was mad at her! She's like, "Chris? Chris? What's his...?" She called him Cold Martin. "Coldplay. Chris Coldplay. Coldplay Chris." This is where my sister right now is using a schema to size up my teacher because she doesn't like Chris Martin, she doesn't like her. It's Martin! Poop in the face!

All right. That's a whole family you just did that to. Hi! Hi everyone! Happy Easter! Lookit! Woohoo! Happy Easter! <kids talking noises> Hello! This is Wrigley. Oh Scheisse! We're gonna get hit! We're not paying attention.

All right so the point was.... Anyway that's the deal was.... We size them up before we knew the whole story. Yes. And now we should all feel bad. You should. And they had another one of Keanu Reeves. It was like a famous photo of him sitting on the bench looking at his shoes. And everyone was like, "Oh! Poor depressed Keanu! He's so sad and look at him!" And it was a huge thing. And then they interview him later he's like, "I was eating my lunch and thinking." They're like, "Okay." He was not sad or depressed. No. And then there's a Ben Affleck one where he's, yeah, Sad Batman. They did a whole meme. I wonder if that one's the same way.

00:35:05 - 00:40:05

Really? Who knows. I don't know. Anyway, so quick sizing up. And the thing is... We shouldn't do it. Well you could do it to a certain extent, but then you have to let someone off the hook and find out more about them. But also there are shady people. We think we're so good at reading people's faces and stuff. And this is where like the microaggressions come in. Terrorist spotters I'm gonna call them that. I'm not sure what their name is. They spot terrorists. And they look for these little microaggressions, which are subtle like mouth movements when they ask certain questions. A lot of... This is not entirely true. They actually take it more from body language. They'll look at their hands...

Hello again! What's wrong with this? The second time around hello it's always awkward. Hello again? Do you ever go out of your way to not see someone a second time? Dave and I did this on the walk the other day. This lady was walking so slow we had already said our hellos and goodbyes. And then we were about to lap her and we did this whole like second loop just to miss her. And then we came out and she was right there and Dave was like, "Aaah sh-t!" Like, "We have to say something again!" Did you have to stop and say hello? No but it was this whole... And then we had to walk real slow so as to not lap her and have to interact again. It was like a Curb Your Enthusiasm moment where you just don't want to... Run into the same person twice. You already said goodbye and then you walk to your car together. You already had a long conversation, like full hello? Oh yeah. Full hello. Dogs met. We talked dogs. That's not good. Okay. It was a whole thing. Can't you just say like, "Aaaahhp! There..." That was so loud! Why did I just echo? I think I'm losing my hearing because I... You said that twice. I just shouted. I just tinkled! She just tinkled. This is what happens when you're over 40. You can't laugh without tinkling yourself. Oh no. Oh boy. Man. Sorry. So anyway. Alright Tinkler.

The big lesson. Microaggressions - don't do it? Yeah who knows. I don't pay attention half the time. No. Yeah, so basically look at people's hands and body language. The microaggressions are when you're like, "So do you love me?" <makes quick face> "Yeah." Okay, you pick up the first <makes face again>. It's a tiny little move. But how are you able to do that in real life? You're just supposed to like freeze frame people or like slow-mo video? It's very hard to do. Look up on YouTube. You can see facial demonstrations if you're really into this. Okay. All right. I feel like... Well, and we've talked about this before - we need to talk about Love Fraud. Love Fraud! But remember at the end? Yes. Okay I don't want to give it away.... Don't give it away because that's the good finale. But at the end it was like tell, tell, tell, tell. And it was crazy! Dave and I were both like jumping up and down on the couch like, "Oh my gosh!" Yeah right? It's crazy! It's great. They do a real live kind of uh bounty hunter stakeout of this crapper con man guy who keeps conning these women. Crapper Con Man here! And finally one of the ladies is like, "I'm gonna catch this dirt bag." And thank god they found this kick-ass woman from Florida I think? Carla! Carla? See I don't remember names. I don't know. I think it was like Tennessee or somewhere. She was like 75 or something. She was like, "I don't take sh-t from anyone!" She reminds me of Aunt Julia. Yes! Yeah! Totally! I love it! And she just went... She's like, "Let's get this guy." Yeah. And so the whole four-part series is of tracking this guy down. It's so good. And they find him. And he is a dirt bag, folks. And how do women fall for this? They don't... They say... Because we just listen to another Doctor Ramani talk about narcissists and dirt bags. And it's very smart women who will fall for them with money, with independence. So it's not just like low self-esteem people. Yeah and it's people that like love and trust and find the good in people which is what we want in our.... And are susceptible to hearing all those wonderful loving things which everyone wants it. But there are red flags. Like if it comes too fast, if there's not enough time, if you don't really get to know someone, if they do excessive love bombing, which is just like, "You're amazing. You're the one. I love you." And then we get... "No one will ever treat you the way I treated you." That's one of the biggest red flags. "No one's going to love you like I love you." <starts singing close to the camera> No one's going to love you like I love you. Look in my mouth. I ate some spinach earlier.

<holds up business card> That's what I was telling you. I thought it was your credit card. Whoa! If anyone needs landscaping Sebastian Wong will take care of you! Sebastian! Do you guys remember that commercial in the 80's where the guy goes, "I can pick most locks with a credit card." No. It was for ADT. Really? Yep!

Signing off! Oh. Very good. Do you want to do a proper sign off? Yeah. Follow us on MouseAndWeens everyone. We hope you reach out and talk to us too. We're mouseandweens@gmail.com, @mouseandweens on all social media (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook) and try finding us on Clubhouse. I keep pushing this but I don't know. <in Adam Sandler's SNL Herlihy Boy voice> Let me in your house. Let me cut your lawn. I'm a good person. And uh don't take any dog dirt from anyone! Get rid of that! Oh it really does stink! Yes, I know! It's been on my shoulder by my mouth! I'm sorry! All right. Bye you guys! We'll see you next time! Mouse and Weens!

<<Song lyrics "Beautiful Girl" by Julianne Eggold: She was a beautiful girl. With a beautiful smile. She had it all figured out for a little while. Then it all crashed down on her head. She didn't know who to call. Didn't have any friends except the hair salon but nobody was in. She crashed right down on her bed.>>

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