E107 - Exes, Breakups, and What We Can Learn

Exes, Breakups, and What We Can Learn

00:00:05 - 00:05:00

Well hello. This is Mr Burns. Ah Smithers. Get me my favorite podcast on the line, will you? Mouse and Weens.

Wow! Yay! Here we are. We're here! Mouse and Weens. We've got a wiener on the left and a mouse on the right. That's right. I'm Mouse. I'm Joelle. I'm the mom one down in San Diego over here in the blue. I'm Weens. I'm in LA and I'm a swinging single. A swinging ween. Watch out world. I'm a swinging wiener! There she is. Always. With her curly hair too. Can you see? It's very cute. Yeah we're on YouTube you guys. If you wanna check it out. Go to YouTube. We're doing a zoom call too as we record. But here we are. You look very very beautiful today. So please go to YouTube and see for yourselves, ladies and sirs. Yeah, our last video I realized I looked a little more like a hobo. So I'm trying to up my game up a tiny bit. This is one notch up, everybody. Lucky you. We're trying to raise our self-confidence on national television and it worked. We say look at us we're beautiful. You know you've got to say that to yourself sometimes. Affirm it. That's right. Beauty is skin deep, I always say. Yeah anyway.

Oh tell some stories of your life. I want to catch up with you. I feel like I really haven't talked to you in a long time. You've been knee deep in... I've been going to a university and taking many classes. I think I'm taking twenty three units...twenty one now. I've dropped a class. I'm going to do my best Jack Black impersonation: "Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!" It's fun. Yeah. Have you ever gone to college? Yeah. Talk amongst yourselves. It's PTSD for me when I hear about that. I'm going, "Oh, that was the worst." I just hated that. How are you doing with it? You're in finals? Semifinals? Not semifinals. Midterms! Semifinals, halftime.... It's fine. I never finished my degree when I was younger so doing it now as we could take a break here during the COVID time. I said, "What can I do with my free time? I'll finish that degree that's been hanging in the wind." Good! So yeah, isn't that interesting? It's a different life path. Mine was about fun. Film school. Yeah, acting school. And freewheeling love. A freewheeling wiener. Hey what about you? Tell me about you?

The kids are finally starting school back up. I'm so excited. This has been the talk of the week. So it's been gearing up to this. There's like a big fight with the school district and the state of California here and the governor. And what's allowed and what's not. And San Diego has been in the purple tier. We just got moved to the red tier I believe. And we petitioned open schools and they said no. And then we went above, like over their heads and we opened schools anyway one day week. And then there is an appeal or something, and now we're going to two days a week. So we're kind of like... we have to get our kids back in school. Really! Yeah and so it's happening. So Toby went on Monday. He's a sophomore in high school so he had his first day back which was cute. It was like at the start of a new trimester to so it was all new classes and he was excited. It was sweet. And then Elliot. He starts tomorrow so he'll be back too. And then we go to today this week and yeah.  But then sweet Charlotte wants to stay home and do virtual school and sit on her bed with her kitties. Because that's-- Oh you should let her do that. So I'm like okay. I won't push it. Whatever you want to do. And she wants to stick with her sweet teacher. Mr Schiff Shoutout Cameron Shiflet. Julianne, explain your whole thing with him. You guys have this....  We love him! ....this inside world with him. What's going on? Charlotte and I both love Schiff because he's emotional and he plays guitar sometimes and he'll get a little tear when he talks about the environment and animals. And then we started putting him into dreamy Schiff... we have little songs like, "Please don't cry if you have a sniff. Call on your favorite man named Mr. Schiff!" Right. Yeah he's great.

00:05:00 - 00:10:02

And the thing that I don't think Charlotte understands is that you don't actually have a crush on him. He's sweet and young and he's a cute hippy guy but he's engaged and he's fully immersed in his own life but... Yeah he's like twenty five or something. Yeah but she's pretty sure that you are going to get married someday. She's trying to set you up and (Really?!) and be like, "My aunt loves you. She likes camping. You like camping." No not... don't really but she's got big plans some somewhere in there. She's gonna drop the bomb on him someday. The love bomb on him. She keeps saying, "You should get a moving truck and moved from LA. And you could live here and then we could be closer to Schiffs!" Anyway. Is okay guy. When I worked in the garden with him too he was super into it. And we're going to do this whole thing with Earth Day to garden chefs. Never Cameron or like this well. I know all the teachers at that school. So they're all very sweet and so he's a great guy. I i would approve of that wedding so you got closed. Did you get a whiff. What was it like to sniff probably smelled like like you with your put julie. It was you know the earth julie. Sometimes i actually liked pachulia. There are many people who call it. Hippie be oh i love. It reminds me berkeley aramis. Happy armpits you don't make it to you. That's to pity for me. Really how do you know though you have no association i have you. You've got it on and you've got tall pits sears. Six one five seven they lineup rate with the old nasal beautiful. This like the natural earth. No no no. Let's move on. I don't that's find someone who enjoys way. Smells call me. I know who my adding here you have settled in you have a certain exterminator started sniffing around speaking of sniffy shift. He tell me what guys go back. Everybody who's listening our dear listeners. Go back to the rat. Episode ratty new year. And you'll hear him. We even got an audio clip of him and now it's turned into this thing so tell us okay. We i never heard of this direct. What happens. Can i tell you how often my sister has song. Oh that always get so bothered. Okay so the post casual school. How can you just real quick. They have their cat scooby. She sings a song to sing it. Real quick casual schools. Scoop casual scuba Casual cat in town. He lays on a bench with the seat hanging off. He doesn't even care his feet. Hang off no rats will eat this. Salami office his toes. He's not worried about that. He's casual school casual scheme. Scooby is cat on a bench. You judge that song that it is catchy doing places i do like okay so i will say pops into my head at least once a day and i'll just be doing the dishes casual scoop. Hey and 'cause. I'm always saying no rets z. Back to the story of the exterminator. The okay let me just do the brief version folks. There was a rat living in my oven. A rat jumps out the landlord guy Calls it exterminator prison. He comes over. he's very interesting. He's little different. He's going around going home. Podge of a firefight. Shaw hud of a sec. What the fuck is happening. And i was like. I was trying to record a bit around the corner. You'd be like in different spaces and it turns out. I said patrick. What are you talking to yourself. What's happening will you recorded it. We have the whole thing. Okay that's under episode. That's on the episode. Okay so fast forward to he supposed to come. Check the traps. Make sure no dead rats No rat traps. And so we've found out in the interview that he was chanting little buddhist songs. Right little yes mantras to himself that he mentioned his buddhism. And i said oh. That's really cool. Lovely okay see you. Next time you check the traps in he leaves and then he sends me. Let me just show you on youtube folks. Go to youtube. I get this. It's a buddhist zoom. She's holding up her phone at says what's love got to do with it. Zoom meeting. What's love got to do with buddhism. And we've got sexy lips like rocky horror picture show lips buddhist love with you lip love style. I have no idea. But i thought that was interesting. And guess what.

00:10:02 - 00:15:02

I said i was busy. I am doing school. can't make it. He never picked up his traps now. Drabs they're here. And i don't know if he's embarrassed or something but now trump's city that wanted that to be your virtual date right. Did he say. I have no idea he just said. First of all juliana juliana here is a link. I wanted to invite you to a meeting happening later. Tonight at seven pm on zoom these. Follow the instructions. Thanks hope to see you there. So is that a friendly thing. Is that a date. It could be friendly. We don't know okay but then after. I said it couldn't go now. I've got traps everywhere in the attic. All over the house you if rats in him you don't wanna check them. You think that it's been two and a half months in the should have been done on january fifteenth. I don't know maybe we'll just stick him outside and have some traps. Yes that story was so pointless. That's okay no. I had a point. Which was you got asked out by the right guy but then even asked out. Yeah these are the things. It's such a weird time date. This is dating in covid. You don't offers zoom. Meeting is a date. You don't know if it's a just a nice friendly lease already been in my bedroom. The only your children for a while. Oh yeah and then you have more friends. He finally washed out all of your lingerie rat. Juror i'm ready. Can you hear that everybody she's reading your chap's over boys ready laundry washed rat free. Come on down. But she didn't have a drying rack for others. Delicate lingerie so. She just poured out her kitchen floor and she said it looked. Like i was over. I madame kitchen. What did you call it you. Why the i'll. I'll post that picture with some sort of like. Yeah so let's get to the point. Get to the point man which is exit so we had our mom on our last episode and being a patron. We asked her. What subjects should we do next because as patrons you guys can choose the topic that we discussed she picked. I wanna hear about your ex boyfriends here exits so we said yes and we have been collecting all these stories. Right in our mind. Oliver xs so Have not all be on the fly. Yeah this is going to be on the flight but we also collected stories from listeners and folks online and have them all in front of me so we can start reading some of their is and then just kind of play off that because some of these are great. Okay candy. He left stuff everywhere he would leave piles of shit everywhere. He would get super mad if she if she did anything with it and his stuff included. She's had magazines gun parts change. It would stay there for months. And and i'm like that's crap my kids do too but that's a kid thing cattle prod. Have you had the messy messy ex boyfriend Yeah yeah. I think i know which one to and did you. You became the cleaner in the relationship which is different. Because you were were of the cluttered. Maybe you've changed though you've grown up in the old days you were more like we. That's my pile. I know where everything is. You were late came over though in he. I said my place is kind of like organized right in pretty clean and he goes. He's what's all that are all my plants. I put on my plants on one table. Which is the dining room table to absorb the sun just a table full of plants. It's funk joe him cranes and you're in a moment of just being quick and functional right now because she's a school yes forgive yeah I'm trying to think of my exes. All pretty clean. Think i had any real messy gross x.'s. Ideally this one guy in college who He was he was just messy when he get drunk. There was that he he he. I don't think i've told the story of the podcast. I knew you knew it. But when he got so wasted as trustee no-no this is asshole. Yes name yeah yeah he. He was a surfer super cute. And i was like whoo. I was over the moon about this guy but he would get drunk with his buddies.

00:15:02 - 00:20:04

One night he came home. I think we are out together and you know he passed out or something middle of the night he wakes up and i can hear him shuffling around the room shuffling in this corner shuffling that corner and i realized he's kinda mumbling talking to himself and i'm like what is he doing. I'm a really light sleeper. I see that he starting to try to whip it out and he's trying to like key somewhere and he's in the hallway right outside of his room and so i take him by shoulders like his pants are already down i. I don't know what's happening. And i'm a do over here in like our push him into the bathroom and aimed toward the toilet. I think i even might have had to hold it to get it going in the toilet and so he finished in the toilet and then you know goes back to sleep. Next morning we wake up. We go downstairs to get coffee. Have a bagel roommates down there. All these surfers in cold house in the wire and i sit down on the couch. And there's the coffee table and tv in couple of guys sitting around and there's a bowl in the middle of the coffee table. And it's got watering. And i hear this drip drip going. What is this bowl of water. And the guy's like. oh yeah. We came home last night. And there's like a leak from the ceiling of steph coming down. It was all over the remote. It was on the magazines on the table. It was his urine that had soaked from the hallway and through the walls through the floor dripping down the chandelier in onto the coffee table because directed him into the toilet so he i missed the first half of his urine which he was sitting in the corner in the hallway. He thought he here toilet or so. Gross yeah so that was disgusting surfer house with peachable and i didn't want anyone to know that they had just touched everything. Just anything like we gotta go. And then i told him after. I'm like you that was your home. Know yes old houses wired. Yeah yeah yeah so that was oh alas messy weiner all right. Let's move onto the next one okay. michelle says. My ex used to play helicopter with his stuff so she thought that have stopped at puberty. But i guess not. Now i kinda like it. I think it's what do you do. I can't like regularly but sometimes there's been like a little move or dance. I guess superman pose a little or anyone because geez forget it never happened. Well it's it's thing our friends probably listen this same boyfriend. This is what i was getting to the surfer guy. He apparently spent a lot of time alone in his room and he told me goes. I gotta show you this thing. I taught myself how to do. It's really cool. I'm like okay. What was it and you know. I think we're like laying there. And so he was naked and he stood up at the edge of the bed. He's like watch this watch this. And he got out his boxers and he held them really wide open and with both feet at the same time. He jumped into his boxers to show me. That was the trick. He spent newer hours teaching himself how to jump into his underwear with both feet at a time. In case of emergency he said in case he ever had to like get up really fast move quickly and all i remember it was his junk lapping. He jumped in such a weird story. Like an angel yes. A big accomplish can't most people jump it right now. Go ahead still trying to jump in here with both i would exempt. This whole thing will follow bar. I've got there if you saw what's happening. I have that microphone balancing with jeans holding it down. And then it's on my artist's sketch book on top of a box hanging on a pillow. I can't run. Microphone her computer. She sitting on her bed. So we need to get you a proper little recording desk or something but the lighting is nice there and it's a soft room either. It's our thanks. You look gorgeous next next as reaction. Didn't you love that asshole. Dave jumping news under both feet. That was my best story. That's all i get crowd man. I'm gonna stick with being the robin laughs at your stories because my story suck but i don't under- wait. I don't understand. He just jumped into his under the underwear come up automatically or does visiting floor with his two hands making the leg holes really big then.

00:20:04 - 00:25:01

He jumps in with both feet at the same time. Now imagine a fully ground cute surfer guy standing there button naked holding his underwear down by the floor and jumping in with both feet at a time. It's hilarious just weird. It's weird but it's funny because they they will just flaps. Okay got it okay. i can remember. I just remember got enough. We're focusing on the weiner or the boxers. Why would a premed ucsd student. It's been all this time learning how to jump into new as you're probably should be studying. I think it was just a big distraction. Don't get how tough this is that you would just don't treat everyone take a break right now and push pause. I'd like you to do it in the background. Okay everyone take god. She's going to do she just left. Let's hear a word from our sponsor we are sponsored by dream dinners dream dinners dot com or mouse weans dot com. Click the link and do enter mouse and weans ninety nine at checkout. If you're in the local area of power or san marcos in san diego and you'll get ninety nine dollars off your first full order and free delivery if you choose it you guys dream dinners is a meal preparation service. That makes dinnertime so easy. I love doing them with my family. My husband can cook them up. Really quick it's just a wonderful thing with good healthy food that recreates mealtime for us. It's it's given us lots of family time back. Dream dinners uses high quality foods. They cut the prep bag. It up for you. All you have to do is out your meal. Look at the recipe card and pop it in the oven or stuff top and it's ready usually in twenty thirty minutes. So do you go to dream. Dinners dot com. Look for your location. Enter mousa weans ninety nine and let them know we sent you enjoy this wonderful life. Hack dream dinners. She's going to do. I am to give mizzou. I should say you didn't do it did you do it. Did you really jump in with both feet at exactly the same time. I mean the. He'll cut the lip the he perfected it. He got it where that didn't happen to live in the dorm. This is so dumb. I just don't that is beautiful. I love this and so his weiner just a little dupe loop yup. This guy was an exciting. Did it make you say. Ooh this is the guy for me. No i just thought it was hilarious. Where weird like. Why would he spend time doing this. The same guy is now a doctor married with kids in in hawaii so do his patients ego maniac Cheated on me that purtzer he kissed a girl d- that a fourth of july party and then came back in the fall and told me he was the same one that we're at a concert and he left for a while and i was standing there just watching the band. This was on campus concert and some dude came up to me and was the sugarcubes program probably like toad the wet sprocket or some sort of college. You banned chinese. My intuition heads pretty good But some came up to me. And said hey. What's your name. And by that time. The boyfriend and come back and he was doing other side. Meanwhile this guys taka me over here. And i'm like oh up about you know small talk small talk but then he said something. Suggestive like while. You're would you ever want to go get a beer or something like that. And i go my boyfriend's right here. And he looked and he goes. I thought that was just your friend. He was just in the bar. Like totally like suggestively hugging this other girl. I thought he was with her. And i was like what. And then after the fact you know months later at the time. I confronted him. He's like no no. No no i didn't do any or no. He said he saw him kissing someone. So then yeah. And months later it turned out. He was a cheater. No so that was the one and that happened. That really broke my heart. That was a hard one. Can people change is the question. Do you think he's still in cheater. Wonder whom. I didn't look that one up and i do have some good factoid for us later about breakup but all right. Let's go to the next question. Don't we have about forty five. We have lots of stories. Yeah do you wanna read. one seamless. She okay christina yes. I don't mind sharing here. I dated a tear all caps guy for three years. He hated when my he hated. When i had my steward he hated. When i had my hair in a ponytail.

00:25:01 - 00:30:03

He said it would dress lesbian. Like what even is that people dress they lake in. If i got a margarita dinner. I would get an earful of alcoholism. Because when he was fifteen he had to get a stomach pump because he caps was an alcoholic a terrible. I could go on about his terrible behavior. But i'll end with. When i was leaving him. I was working out and losing weight. And he said somebody else gets to have his skinny happy christina and he got the fat sad one like. Wow the audacity. She never fear. I'm engaged to my best friend. Now and that psycho xs mary. Some unknowing lady. I'm sure she will figure it out eventually. Boom she is my phone owner licko. Yeah dude that got me. I was like who dare say that. How how would you feel. Oh you're losing weight. I got the fat version view. And now you're going to go off from me skinny with some new guy. That's so mean that's so mean who would ever say that horrible so she does well. We hate this guy. Whoever i wish she would say his name so we can call him out. And whatever you do you have any xs that just a mean like exit thing. That they did sucks was trying tough love. He was trying to break me and he was trying anything could to like get he wanted to get to my inner core then he said look you your face makes me want to throw up and you're one of the what did he say he goes. Yeah i remember that your face makes me wanna vomit and then later like i broke up with basically. Yeah that was like that. Some of the meanest shit. I've ever heard he talked to after he was like well. It was just trying something different. That would actually get to you. Because you're dead such as number right now. A big sister has some words to show him. 'cause that's fucking awful and then he was like those are just words. Think about all the things you did like. Oh my god but it was much more than that. I'll just say that part but isn't that mean and it was so devastating at the time it was really hurtful. Yeah but that's horrible. I know these guys probably savings and do things. They don't really know the mo new but that in the moment the same surfer guy boy really hung up on him. He grabbed my fat when i was bent over in the shower. Shaving my legs grabbed my belly. It he was like for like courbet's off and he was like. I'm sorry i just had to see what felt like. I'm like oh. I've always after that turned away and never shown anyone bend over fat. 'cause it's like bad stuff gets in your head and you're just like no he. He laughed but yeah he was like he had body right so he's probably was he trying to be jerky hot bonding but it's just like that's always been my trouble spot Listen to michael shopping episode. But yeah when i bend over but wouldn't anybody bends over right unless you happen to be like super skinny skin skin stomach. But you know that's where my baby human folks being here who cares. That's why he's asshole. Dave we all right. Let's see this. One comes from dave at the air will years. Okay so the air will fears this podcast. Do you like what flipped my papers you i said. Do you wanna do it on your phone. And he said no. I like to touch the papers. Because i like to hear when people are moving their papers in the back. Sometimes i like it. I feel like a real news person. When you hear papers you make noise team. Detained didn't go ahead. Okay so david the air will fierce. I put a thing out saying. Hey guys were looking for stories about xs and he wrote an ex girlfriend of mine ended up on the tv show intervention. He said it was a total shock. We'd been broken up for bid. Another buddy sent me the link to her episode which actually explained a lot of her behavior toward me over the years prior to my finding out. You love that show right intervention. I love and eventually yeah. I've seen i think i've seen all of them at least the first chunk of them. Yeah i found to. Dave and i watched it back in the day back when we were watching the dr drew. You know rehab. That's me that tip. But i guess it was very traumatic and that was like reality shows where maybe newer.

00:30:04 - 00:35:00

Yeah and so. I think i saw this one. Because i said whoa. That's good that at least explained the behavior. So what was her vice. How did you guys up. He said sentiment and he said the breakup was mutual. It was a few years prior to her ending up on the show but then the messages and the emails started coming in. They were really verbally aggressive towards him. she was calling his character into play in how he was unsupportive of her despite that he didn't even see her for years and it wasn't until after he watched her episode. Did he realize what the hell was really behind the messages in. He said she was on the show for inhalants namely the keyboard cleaner. Oh yeah oh shit she got. She was super popular. Yeah she the hover duster. Yeah yeah so all my gosh. I saw that episode is at the one in or were there are a lot like that. I'm sorry you went through that and goes in pretty sure that was it. And i'm like holy moly. So there you guys mad props to from the air wolf years. Because he went through that with her She ended up. She's now a spokesperson for antidrugs. And she's really made. She's totally turned her life around. And she's out speaking schools and yeah. She knew that because they do like. Where are they now. So and they. He's doing great but hers was. I mean she was even laughing at herself. So i feel like i do but she was like kicking the police and like screaming. They threatened to take her cats because that was the only thing she cared about and that she was like go down with the popo like out of her mind. I was like i think that's why it's was so popular so dramatic. Oh my god. That was her. Yeah a little celebrity story. Can there was one other one too that we didn't hit and This was from erin. She wrote in that she was in a toxic relationship for three and a half years her xs and assist had a problem with drugs and alcohol. The relationship was very abusive. Both both mentally and emotionally. She couldn't do anything to anyone and she always had to be by side. She had to wear certain clothes that he liked and basically her life had to revolve around him. But he'd gone these binges he'd get super angry or go missing and she finally got out of that relationship and she's happily engaged to her soul mate. Thank god gosh. That is awful man cookie neutral to could anyway thank goodness yeah. Love the happy innings they get away from these lunatics in doing nice and they find their people so there in those lunatics by the way those narcissists dive on these people They just keep doing it their whole life but they usually end up a lot of them end up doing their same behaviorally very few change. But then they'll find him like in a nursing home trying to like run their racket and they're usually worn down because a lot of times they're alcoholic drug addicts because they're always trying to like you know anyway. Yes control rearing of good demise ending. Well maybe in a future episode we can talk about love fraud too because that plays right into that. And we watch that we binge that it's only four episodes. Did you watch the whole thing. Yeah david thank. Ooh but let's talk in the future. I wanted to own all kind of re outlined. We can talk about it. 'cause that's okay. Lee says on the way home from the hospital after giving birth and it was a c. section two beautiful perfect daughter. Her now ex husband turned and looked at her and said when will you stop looking pregnant and he also used to get angry with the way she loaded the dishwasher. Mike petty shit. Which i guess f- all this may be due. I don't love how my family listen. Jewish washer either. Now that were saying it. But she says happy ending. She divorced and remarried and she's found the love of her much sweeter more loving more in tune with himself and others very handsome so successive nights. When you hear the follow up after these breakup that there's someone great out there so people were stuck right now feeling like they're never gonna find anyone or they're too old. Just we know more and more people who find the love of their life the second time around and it's right out of or fifteenth. Yes exactly. how's your friend. Group are you guys are pretty well matched up for mostly single or do you have friends in divorce situations or you could have run the gamut. Yeah all over the place.

00:35:00 - 00:40:03

Yeah of good married solid lebda partner ones and then then or have anyone who's currently getting a divorce so probably single people in married people. Mostly you. I know it's so hard who sell the divorce. Ones are couple of them. Yeah there're some that have already gotten divorced. There's some in the middle of it. Some contemplating it you know it runs a gamut there to were side. These people that that was their like second or third boyfriend and they were married. Twenty years kind of folks. Because that's the most of your friends right. Yeah it's mostly the people who have started families together and then realize maybe it's not the greatest. Maybe this is not a great match as we mature and then you stay together for the kids or do you break up now because the kids need to see mom or dad happy and get what they want and not be treated this way or whatever is going on. So it's it's it's tough. It's it's really tough. My few people were probably from a few years ago. But i happen to have like three or four guy friends who were talking about and they were people that i known for years and years and years so but yeah same and it was They all wanted to get out of their marriages but then they said there's too much to untangle even wins without kids. Were saying Just finances we just have everything shared. Oh and then while. I like that one brother of hers and now we've got that just like but you complain all the time so yeah. I don't know your first single person to be like just leave. Why would you stay right until everything is well. It probably is like daunting. It's almost like when you live in a house that you've been in for twenty years in all your ships in every closet and just the thought of having a pack up and move and like change addresses and do all. The new staff may find a new job. It's like a whole life. Change says easier to stay in the house and you just you know. is it. Fear deal with it someday as fear of probably fear and work like yeah fear of being alone the work involved in breaking up and having untangle all that stuff finances filing divorce you know all the lawyer fees and what's going to happen with that i can't imagine or someone who maybe has been not the financial person the whole time like their spouse dealt with all the money staffan so they'd have to learn a whole new skill set and deal with their own finances finely like that's probably scary for people get dependent on each other. It's crazy yeah. I know how to do everything by myself because then yes you do and you do yeah. You're very self sufficient. I think that's good but you could easily partner up in too. But i think he would probably always keep your independence. No matter what Well i think it would question. That's a question. I that it is good to know how to handle yourself and then you come together without a whole lot of dependence in that way but then it would be lovely to be dependent in a healthy way. Yes she's blowing. Kisses the camera think that was her dating profile she just Filmed right right. Okay wait. I wanted to kind of go through I pulled up some fun. Lists and articles and stuff like that. So i thought this would be neat to to see if you relate to any of these okay. Let's talk about breakups types of breakup. The mutual break-up have you had a mutual break-up revolt decide you know what we're better apart. I don't know probably not have you. Yeah i don't know if they're really can be one usually someone's gotta instigated in someone's probably hurt more than the other right. Yeah for me. It's always is some weird ending that's back and forth there kind of partially can't let go or leave but then try to get back in the door a little and like a half hump pinheads post breakup. I know i guess there's that too. Or what about long distance. Have you done that. Well we'll get to that. That's one of them. Yeah that's a good logistical break-up long distance After living on opposite coasts communication breaks down. So your day to day. Won't change much but i guess having a person would you've done that before you've had long distance stuff right have i. Didn't you new york your new york. Did i stay. I didn't really have anyone real in new york dated.

00:40:03 - 00:45:03

That was my real dating experience. Oh i have doozy's tone okay. Here's one i have to. But i'll do one. His name was jimmy lewis. Bulla right eddie. Early was one of those guys. I was doing catering at with chip running. Which is the fancy restaurant guy. So they do all these fancy parties but one of them was like out in the hamptons and it was the guy who owned the company that did like all these crazy blow up carnival things in someone's backyard. It was like four million. No i shouldn't say that it was like a half a million dollar party. Wow i don't need to go to big. it's unrealistic. Some of these bar mitzvahs were like a million dollars was average for a bar mitzvah. is with my us. We will go to the wall street building. why am i saying. World trade center when it's this old stock exchange building on wall street. That's what it was. There'd be a lot of fancy parties anyway. Jimmy bulla was the owner of this fancy like whatever entertainment company that provides all these real high end carnival things that i know whatever and then somehow i got to talking with him at the end of the night. I'd always take little sips of the champagne through the evening. And by the end we were talking and he was like a total a jimmy. Lewis the guy that andy cute like. Why were you kind of yeah. He was like burly. It was like a man's man new yorker. Well this'll be nice for experience. I'll try to go out and deal with this guy. Because just for the experience and so i remember he picked me up. And like i'm gonna show you the sites in new york he took me to. He's like you know scorsese he goes all right we're going to go to mulberry street. I'm gonna show you where his mother hangs out and then we went to mulberry street. And he goes and he pointed out. Okay now this is kind of a vague memory. 'cause it was twenty years ago or something but he either pointed out john gotti in that restaurant or he said this is john gotti goes and i didn't know who he really was at that time so it. It didn't register. If i saw him or not but scores easies mom also. I don't know if she was in there. I can't remember except that that was the place where they all went so it was a pizza shop on mulberry street and so we went there. I think something happened with john. Gotti i swear to god. I think that we either saw him sitting in there and he pointed out but it was more than just a story. Scorsese's mom was just a story like she kids out there. But i think god he was in. I think because it it rings more to be like. Oh i met him in the later i find out who he really was in. Oh shit he and you know who he is right he's he. He was the one with the tax evasion. They finally got put in jail right and he had the sons that had that reality show. I guess i don't. I don't know about the reality show but yeah john. Gotti was like the al capone of mid nineties or late nineties crime family. Yeah crazy anyway. And then something i remember. He took me to some other place. We had to go through the holland tunnel and he was talking about the title and then somehow and boys we all know what you're doing some how he showed me his new line of lotion's he was launching and said let me give you a quick shoulder rub with the lotions and well. Yeah at that point. It was kind of like a driving. Around all day tommy lasorda. Whatever bali oh yeah yes yeah me. Search guy he's like eighty five old ball baseball's. Tom was not him but not take a massage from him. To if dead but Yeah so this guy. So we ended up doing massages shoulder rep with the lotions and then i got nervous because i realized that was somewhere far away from my place and we were somewhere in like his house and oh this could go bags. I didn't want to do anything with them. And then i'm like this guy could kill me. I immediately had this thought that he might be tied into the mob. Because of everything we just gone through was like who is this guy know nothing about him. He owns his big too much. You judge he's taken me yes. It was a whole any words kind of like dad. Don't worry bad like don't ask too many questions. I remember just going. Wow i'm going to buy some of that. Let's go who god so anyway.

00:45:03 - 00:50:02

I got out of their own home. And then i i think phase that one out but it was all about the experience a tendency to get into trouble because i want to just try everything once. This is a crazy old school new yorker kind of scary weird guy so try that the adventure you want the adrenaline. The whole story in the new york experience with a guy named jimmy lewis bali. So then you get story ideas you're writing screenplays and my whole life has been gathering stories that go nowhere ladies weans. Thank you very english. We are they gonna mazza weans. They're also going to a screenplay competition that we are doing with our good friend. Phil rude in austin. His son have showed the picture shows. Oh ogden fill rude yet. You got it you always say i said if you're the other guys too. Yeah and the politics. I am make joe do all of them because i get name. I'm more in this world. I'm doing all the social media. The pop film cast guys with whom we did an episode already. But they are doing this whole screenplay competition too so keith derek. And then i don't know if they ask others to. We'll find out we're going to meet soon and record and then do this whole contest so you guys will hear a lot more about it in the future with a lot of other people. It's not just there's but they're affiliated with it. Yeah yeah okay. So it's exciting. It's the first time i've read her and we were on. Forgive my cutting off. But we were on their show. Pop up film cast and mouse and wings was a special guest. Miss coach episode with them called g- were horn all spirit and eleven. Were so good. They are so great guest improv. That was really fun. So as fill in austin we loved him this absolutely okay so good new york dating story. I like that. It was not long distance. You're just over new york. We have other kinds of breakup. The never saw coming break-up that's the hardest one where you think everything's fine and then bam out of the blue it's over. This happened with me with current hubby. What and we broke up the time before we got back together. Yeah i thought he was ring shopping. I've told the story before our love stories episode but he just out of the blue decided he needed to break up beyond his own figure out what he was doing. His life. go to law school. He had to get all his ducks in a row. But there. After the fact i find out he had met somebody else that gave him the tinguely feelings. And so he was like slouches good. She played the flu. Yeah he didn't want to cheat so he broke up with me. Which was nice but man you were there for that whole break-up winds and that was ugly do you remember. I was in la. Hoya san diego and you learn very sad every day. Yeah did they do a good job you did. You were a great counselor. A great confident a great The upper tell the same story over and over again about how sad it was. And you kept saying if it's meant to be he'll come back if it's meant to be he'll come back. And lo and behold two years later i got a call and then he was meant to be back together. Yeah and the good thing about this is then and i remember feeling this way then but if they go off and do their thing then they come back and they're solid. Yes so solid in did that. Yeah in realising it wasn't meant to be at that time and he had to go so his wild oats in go to law school and figure out what he wanted to do. It feel like then he could come back and support emergency with with someone that understood him. No one else got it. No one else had a good sense of humor could like just. It wasn't a good fit. The chemistry thing is huge. So dude. I'd never wish that on anybody so to go through. I really feel that was almost more of a loss than like our own father dying. I really felt like so much more distraught and why is that. I don't know grieving the whole loss of it. 'cause it's just so everything you put so much hope and dreams on this person and you know it was tracking you know. We met at the right time. And if i plan this right we get married. Then i can help kids and also becoming young and like everything was lined up and i just kinda had that dream and then liam broke up out of the blue. What did it teach you that. I don't have control the can't control people or life and you have to roll with what comes and realized that there's a big picture. There's a big plan someone else's got this under control.

00:50:02 - 00:55:10

The universe mother nature god. Whatever in did that help you. It took a like after it took a retrospective look. I think you know after we got back together and had the kids in the life. And then i look back and go. Oh i was devastated but it turned out. Okay so i don't know and then all these stories to people breaking up but then saying but then i met the best guy ever so yeah works out. Okay let's do another story. That's great though i mean if teaches you. Here's what i was. I didn't mean to lead you but if it teaches you to have less control. I know that that's probably serving especially in your life. Shut up okay. So much better. I just wanna say congratulations to that bad. But no i know thank you. I know i. That was always my vice. I like control. I'm a taipei. What can i say. i'm a first born. Who knows in aries it. All lines up We are going to listen to a fun clip. That was sent to us by chad. Broad breaker he is with the perfect package podcast and his new podcast which is called down to folk and he's also with the pod fixed network and he's hilarious is i know they have a great great show. He and dave is his co host and he comes from our same circles of growing up in the bay area. So you guys were talking shop back in the day about our punk rock episode and the whole thing right. But he's at a funny story he typed it up but then he he recorded. So i'm just gonna play. I hope my mike can pick this up. But we'll we'll put it in a post all right ready we go hey mouse wynn's longtime listener first-time caller. It's chad from perfect package. Podcast and down to folk right here on the pot fix network. Podcasts dot com. I wanted to tell you a story about my ex. Wonderful woman married to her for ten issues. She was as they say guano insane. I got divorced from her and well. It's not a great story. But i just wanted to say that not all xs are bad. I envy her somewhat. Because you know some people search their entire lives for their soulmate and and she found to in about six months so god bless her for that. No i mean seriously. I it's it's fine i'm remarried. She's remarried twice since we've been divorced but it's fine. It's fine it's convenient. You know it's it's always. It's always a good thing when you get divorced and get remarried within a few months and but definitely weren't cheating at all now and then it's and it's also it's also convenient when you get divorced another time and and don't have to move for you can just take your stuff next door. That's always super confident. So kudos to her for you know having such a convenient love life. But i digress. After i got divorced though this is a fun story. I went crazy with dating and so i guess i'm the crazy. No i it. Got to the point where i would have a first date with someone and we go out to dinner and then i would have to call my friends and we would meet somewhere so they could meet who. I was on a date with because i needed adult supervision when it came to my dating choices after my marriage. Yeah you know. I like to think of my self as a good clean wholesome christian boy but you know after i got divorced i went a little kooky. I dated a tattoo artist in dominates. But that's another story for another time. But no i had to. I had to get adult supervision when it came to my dating life and you know i couldn't be trusted but it all worked out me and i met a lovely lovely woman and i mean she's crazy but you know i love her and she loves me with is probably way. I think she's crazy. Thanks for letting me share with you guys. Oh my god. that's so interesting have follow. I know him who we're going to be on his show. A tattoo artist. Yeah he has on his show coming up too. So we'll be on the recording soon. Yes yes yes so called gonna cut you off. I apologize. That's okay the perfect package podcast. Pepa let's appease to get your pops out for that but yeah he's it's so true though with With you here like what happens after you break up with a crazy one and you're kind of going like dodged a bullet i don't know mine.

00:55:10 - 01:00:01

Were all pretty vanilla. But you had a couple doozy's didn't you. Yeah i think it was the same thing after the long relationship ended. I did not care. It was the brokenhearted. Do not care all try. Whatever this point just for a while to kind of frivolous well. There was a nice guy around though too but They won't mention that he's in a relationship now what we mentioned But anyway there was a fast eddie in their zoom motorcycle claim was also owned a dispensary and had a bunch of weeden. His warehouse. fast. Eddie folks fast eddie jerk also called yeah he else dropped out out of the blue to like you thought things were fine and then one day it was like nothing was fine and that it was there was no depth at all. It was just. But i was trying my hand like i'll try to be really open vulnerable but secretly all i was choosing guys that if our cute in trying out and i knew it would never work. I had to hung hearing bicyclist. That was the one who called me today. He's in my phone as what i am doing here because he was like a austrian nihilist who has always like other know what i am doing here in the united states is so stupid americans are so stupid. What i'm doing here. i am doing. And he calls still he calls when zero checks in and makes no sense and i never call them back but really it was a nice enough guy was just ridiculous. You know. I'll look okay. Let me just play the message. What time doing okay. She's typing your phone. Julia julia julia. That's it so this guy once a year call seven last time it was like cats. Cats cats cats get all y'all ding dong speaks no sense. Never pick up the phone. Spend five ding-dong guy but it was not you know. Yeah good well keep him. Keep him coming. There was that there were a few others. I won't go into all the details but there was some do. I was trying twenty five year olds. There's a never mind. Let's say no talking amongst ourselves. Well when would they become. When does it go from being a date to boyfriend and then when does it go from. We're not gonna garnered another date to being break-up is there line when you think all of mine are not traditional or not with these types of guys talk of like okay. Llanelli monogamous. no did. Yeah but you're a traditional and those were people probably little like this the frivolous like all of a sudden. You're like eggs doing this in your hero the time. That's what i think when you're numb to love. That's what happens. Sometimes and then he just send him and then it's usually you're matching the energy of whatever situation. You're in so if you're in a place where you're totally closed hearted but just doing stuff than you're gonna find someone else's like a yeah. I think i think it's total lake energy. What do you think. Yeah totally agree with that. I think it's not one's always trying to struggle to get the other one too. Yeah there's never that straight up balance that always physics. Somebody likes someone else more or yours. More vulnerable rose more fearful so hard. It's so hard to or not dating so happy so happy though there were a few that were great and you know the first long term boyfriends were wonderful but it was all at a different time in my life like it just wasn't right timing even though they're great people a sound not use me dome but it was true and they're all often married and happy now and so i i to point out that i have few those to not to cut off your story but just to say that there were some very nice guys in. There won't name any names but you know who you are. They're lovely people that work out for whatever reason like you have a good ability to stay friends with these people to still a lot. I was not a harlot. These were you and a lot of them are.

01:00:01 - 01:05:02

Yeah no it's good. It's all good. Yeah i did want to go over this last little piece. Because i think i said i would talk this. This is kinda cute types of boyfriends and what what we learn from them types of ex-boyfriends. Okay so there's the crazy ex what he teaches. You overly attached guys aren't romantic. They're crazy in. They should be avoided. I don't think i ever had the funds. I was did you I had the the crush. I looked back up. Who then went a little crazy in some flowers and like notes and lock in to get my boss to like walk in the bathroom and came up with the bloody cook knows that was her lover in high school crush on him biggest crush on him and i looked him up on friendster so long ago before facebook or anything. And don't do that guys. Don't look up your crush. Keep it a mystery in the past. Gosh yes all right The second type of ex-boyfriend the one that got away. Even though you're happy now you can't help but wonder what life would have been like if you had stayed with this person but you can take from that. Love is possible but it's not always enough to save a relationship so there you go All right the platonic friend. The break-up wasn't messy. Neither of us had enough feelings. Invested to hate each other. And you still hang out as friends. what he teaches you. Some relations relationships might not work out but they could lead to awesome friendships. And i think we all have some of those couple the exit benefits you talked about what he teaches. You plenty of new things in bed because if you're going to sleep together why not experimental true. Why not okay. The mini the benny guy. The one sided soulmate. When can't just let go one-sided soulmates. Maybe even if you want to love someone as much as they love you you can't force your feelings letting someone go truly could be the nicest thing you can do for them laughing at something else. I'm gonna find out and post. You'd probably nothing right. The forgotten ex. You never really think about this guy you often forget. You dated What he teaches. You might feel really strongly about someone. You're in the moment but down the line you probably realize. He wasn't as important as you thought he was. And that's feelings tend to cloud this fact not I do forget xs. No i mean. But they're more like shorty ones not the long 'cause it's just a long time ago. The embarrassing ex. You wish you could forget. You dated him but no luck. You have a few any what he teaches you. We all need a wake up call at times. When we're veering off track. You just explained your list of your fast eddie tuna kangai data that one guy. That guy's bodybuilder. Florida gun chunk. Yeah you're right. Yeah came in and showed me all of his guns and they talked about trump. oh The on again off again ex. You've probably mistaken him for the one that got away so you're always up forgiving him another shot however that shot is always blown common mistake. But if it's not working time after time chances are it wasn't meant to be and you should break the cycle. See this could have been dave but it worked out so the on again off again. Do some work folks on yourself. Get rid of that guy or girl the ghost after you broke up. He fell off the planet by ghosting. You this guy made sure you weren't friends on social media anymore. Have you been ghosted. Have you had that happen. Do it to a couple of weirdos. You've had to do it. Good didn't really exist back when it was dating really one that finally stopped taking my calls and emails in But i heard from a friend of a friend. He had like all my stuff like he was. I broke up with him and so he was still like. Maybe i was the one that got away or whatever so he still had a little thing of all my stuff in his wife didn't like it and made him get rid of it and made him like no more christmas cards. No more phone calls no more whatever. Yeah off no letters and notes and stuff like that. I'll tell you after. I do really oh okay crashed in his front yard in. Never take this out to okay. This is patriot. Only we were divulging. Secrets in your site flashed my boobs. Second that's what you did. You know that was something else. Oh what did. I felt this impulse. And i did it. I'm sorry during the middle would be saying something important.

01:05:02 - 01:10:00

I need to get out of my hand to get out your to me like all right one last one that. See the over analyzer. This one's still pretty damaged in likely single. What he teaches you. There is such a thing as too much closure picking apart a relationship doesn't really help because you're stuck in the past instead of moving on and seeing what else is out there were you looking at me. that's me. The analyzer realize past relationships with the people. Okay so what do you do you move on her. Yeah you move on. You're not you gotta think about the president in the future. All i do now. Yeah your gun very well. That's why i'm doing so much time off. Three and a half years had taken off anything. Wow has it been yeah. It's almost as old as our podcast. You're you're dry spell. This is good. He'll dry sick right the married ex. She really liked this guy. You might be a little heartbroken about not being the one. He chose to wife but learned to be patient. Marriage could happen to you but things happen at different pieces for different people. I have not dated a married person. Oh like your ex got married right after you that kind of thing. All right The gay x. Have you ever dated someone who turned gay not turn gay but who was who came out after i don't thinks of it there's a couple who had question Not really that's not true. Now had your over your the spiritual sex guy who dabbled in. Did he marry member. He had sex with a guy. Wants in your school. And i was like. What does that tell you something. And you're like way more open than i was. I was like remember. yeah. I think he was a swimmer. He liked those teddy bear picnic. Jurors addict boys to the one. You burned okay. This is the last one in this case. You are the one who did something wrong. You try not to think about it anymore because it just makes you feel like a bad person what he teaches you not to make the same mistake in your future relationships and why what you did was wrong so very interesting staff. Lots of lessons to be learned from her exes guys out there girls out there. Tell us about your xs. I wanna hear more stories. Because i think it's pretty fascinating. I love apart all this stuff. Yeah what does it teach you and and have you found the love of your life after. Do pine away for them saw. We will keep going with this. I love these. Because i have a million things i wanted to talk about. But we don't have enough time. I wanna talk about friends getting a divorce. How to support them I want to talk about if you're the one that got away. What about if our kids start wanting to date. How do we deal with that E- still thinking about your ex even though you're totally over him i mean there's lots lots to unpack your analyze. Yes and allies it. Weans close it out for us. Anything you want to say to all the x to all the loves. I've loved before my access live in texas. What else is about access. That one Sexy number nine to no. Do you have anything Just want to say to all the boys. I've loved before you are all wonderful. People couple of you are jerks but most of you are very nice. You know that you know who are the nice ones if you're listening. That's you since you're listening if you're a jerk you're not listening but i can call you a jerk and you are especially fast eddie and Who's that other guy. The gun trunk. Forget about that guy meeting cans of tuna. He was not fun. All right soppe lifting weights settled down with your feelings. Jerks love you. What about you joe. Please close it out. I know no. I look back. Fondly anna on the relationships in did learn from each one and everything does work out for a reason. I don't know all that generic hallmark crap. But i really did. I do have love for all this those guys except for the jerky right except for asshole but even he could jump in with two feet. And that's a feat. That's that's a skill that we need to all okay. Everybody Tonight when you're that means in your little room. I want you to strip down i want. I want the wagle waggling parts to be able to wagle. And i want you to jump in your under a both feet. Hold up about your knee height. That's what he did and he jumped in with full fee. Hey did not fall nothing on them.

01:10:00 - 01:12:40

You jumped right in okay. She's on her bed. You guys she just took off. She's got tights on. I'm not gonna lie here and she's going to jump in as if she's nude mosser's okay who should holes open ready. She goes here so hard. Her whole rig slots she's about it's all over every asshole. Dave gets major kudos. Thank you for listening to mouse. Weans phone one. We are available on all podcasts players. Please tell your friends. That's the best way we can grow. Were also aren patriotic. If you guys want all the outtakes and bloopers and get to choose our next episode topics we also post lots of little videos and things like that. So head over to Patreon.com/mouseandweens What else we are all the social media apps @mouseandweens everywhere including cCubhouse. This is a new thing we want to try. But you've got to spell it out. Mouse And Weens. And we love you guys. Thank you for listening. Thank you. We have so much fun doing this. And we'll see you next time.

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