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mouse and weens

part comedy, part life. A podcast.

Episode 50 - Chris Fairbanks, Wayne Federman, Chris Taylor on Standup!

 
00:00:00 - 00:05:04
M&W: Haha! Hey! It's Mouse and Weens! Here we are. We are on our way to the Westside Comedy Club? Show?
W: The Westside Comedy Theater. Right. We're driving from the Glendale side of the world over to Santa Monica.
M: And I came down on a train to do this big night 'cause Weens' friend is doing his first night of stand-up tonight.
W: Right. This is crazy, my friend. Chris Taylor is a camera operator. He's a DP and a camera operator. I worked with them for three seasons on Murder in the First and for some reason he has gotten himself involved in this crazy situation where it's called The Virgin Sacrifice and it's a thing-- It's a comedy deal where big headliners will open up for this one person who has never done comedy before. So that's my friend Chris.
M: That's my biggest fear. Can you imagine?
W: I can't imagine.
M: How did he find it? How'd he get into it? How'd he know about it? Do you know?
W: I don't know. I didn't even-- I should've called him and talk to him about it. I want to find out the backstory. So let's-- Maybe we can interview him.
 
(M&W interview Chris Taylor)
W: So, how did you get involved and can you describe what this show is that you did?
CT: Well it's called Mouse and Weens and it's my first time ever doing it. So you would know more that way-- Wait, what are you talking about? How did I get involved with The Virgin Sacrifice? Basically if you've never done stand up before and you want to try, you could you know--  This particular club with this hostess, you would basically fill their club for them on a on a weeknight and get to make a fool of yourself.
W: So what was the process? They say, "Okay, you're the guy and do you need--?" Do they offer you help to to kind of form your set? And do they give you a time limit as well?
CT: I don't remember if she said how long it was going to be. I assumed it was five minutes because that's kind of the going thing for like open mics and things like that. And I literally asked the night before. I was like, "Wait, it's five minutes, right? Because that was the hardest part for me. It was keeping it to five minutes because I just have so many ramblings about crazy stuff. And the night of-- Well, first of all she did say, "Yeah, if you want to run your stuff by me or whatever to, you know-- I can kind of give you pointers or whatever. I'm available anytime." I'm like, "Okay. That's cool but no thanks."
MW: Oh really?! You turned it down!
CT: She said I was the only person ever turned down. I was like, "Oh, I had no idea." But the reason I did was you know, when you know most of the people there, you just go with shock value. They think they know you.
M: Well, the joke that stood out to me was when you unzipped your pants and stood there  with your boxers out for while. That was that was like, "Oh, okay." That was bold.
CT: I was planning to leave them open the whole time but the guy in the front that I didn't know was like very uncomfortable. And I should've told him like, "Dude, you know, nothing's gonna happen. They're backwards." You know? And also with stage fright I'm not going to have, like, pink steel or anything like that.
W: You know, I looked over a couple of times at you because I was like, oh my gosh to have to sit and watch, you know, six comedians before you. But how was that? What were you experiencing?
CT: Well, it's funny because I was going through these cycles of paying attention to the technical side of their structure and things like that and paying attention to the red light. And of course, not paying attention to how long they had after that. But-- And who was using notes who wasn't using notes and things like that.
W: They all used notes, right?
CT: All except the last guy. Everyone had some sort of a note kind of system. For me, I just need like a couple word reminders of what the bit is about.
W: Did you do open mic in preparation for this just to kinda-- Or was that something totally separate without knowing you were gonna--
CT: I did a couple of classes at UCB which were improv and that helped a lot with thinking quick on your feet, and you know, not being... not having stage fright or whatever. And of course, there's a little bit. But you know, I was like-- My first iteration of the bit of the whole set was just play super nervous the whole time and just make it super awkward and I backed off from that.

00:05:04 - 00:10:00
But I still kept the nervous thing in there because if I was, then I can use it. If I'm not, it'll be easy. And so I was just a little bit. And so by playing, it actually made me less nervous.
M&W: There you go. So smart.
CT: Yeah I just kind of did that. I mean that's why, you know, I unzipped my pants at the beginning.
W: Yeah. And you know what was nice is that you pointed out that you were nervous, and you kinda-- You just commented on the moment that was happening. Like, "Oh my god, I can't believe I'm here. Thanks everybody for coming. This is amazing. I'm so frigging nervous being up here", blah, blah, blah. And it sort of makes all of us not nervous for you. You know. We're all there together. So that was really smart.
CT: And the thing is-- I mean, I'll tell you a secret. It's like I kind of cheated. I was a virgin in that I'd never really done that in front of my friends and stuff. I'd done like two open mics where nobody really knew me. And so I didn't really feel like they counted. One of them was okay. It actually went pretty well. The other one was like blah. But the thing is, like, it was the same as the improv theater, which is everybody there for the most part wanted me to succeed. So that kind of takes some pressure off. When you're doing an open mic, I feel like they don't because they're all there to do their shit and they hope they're better than you. So that's the main major major difference and one of the reasons why I wanted to do this. So when this came up, I was like, "Maybe I should try that." Because, you know, if you don't do well, it's just the audience that sucks, right?
W: Yeah. Exactly. It's all their fault. But I mean, it's really a testimony to failing and getting back up and doing it again. And I think that's one of the biggest things. I am totally guilty of failing and never doing it again because it was so painful. But really you have to. It's just life and you have to get up and do it again and possibly fail again. And that's what makes you stronger. And it took me a really long time to learn that. So good for you for having a shitty open mic experience and then doing this.
M: Absolutely. That's great.
W: Hey, so did anybody come up to you afterwards? Like, some of the other comics and really give you pat on the back or how'd that go?
CT: Well Nicole did. She was, you know, the guide and the host of it all. And I went out to the street after to where the people were hanging out and spoke to Bryan (Bryan Callen) who is, you know, the the heavy hitter guy. And he was like, "Yeah, that was really good. You really did great" blah, blah, blah, you know, he and his friend. And through talking to them, I heard they didn't actually-- They weren't actually around for the show. They didn't really listen, because it turns out they were in the green room. And they were like, "We could hear people laughing." And from what I know from being in that green room is it was really muffled. I could hear people laughing. I could not hear his jokes unless I tried really hard. But he was back there with his friend. They were blowing each other so they couldn't hear me. It's true. I mean, I asked them if they were  and they said they were, so..
W: Most comics do that in the green rooms immediately when their sets are over. They start blowing each other. It's weird. All right my dear!
M: Well we're glad to say we could know you when. And will you keep us on the shortlist for inviting us out to to your gigs? That'd be fun to watch you grow.
CT: All right.
 
(Mouse and Weens Conversation)
W: All right. What'd you think of all that business?
M: I thought that guy has cajones. I don't know how he could do that. That's so scary. But good for him. Would you do it?
W: I would love to talk to the comedians and find out their first stand up experience.
M: Yeah. There's something I heard or saw. I think it's online. A video thing - "that time I bombed" or something about every comedian's first time bombing. (Fact check: Worst I Ever Bombed on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon). It's really cute. That sounds fun. Because it's going to happen. I mean, it's inevitable. But I think you should do it. I think you should take some classes and do it. Will you? You'd be son good.
W: Oh my gosh. Wow. You've asked me this before. You really-- I would-- It would take a minute to-- Sure. I'll do it. Yeah. It'd be fun to try. It'd be fun to try and just do it for the experience. And who knows how it would go. Yeah. I say yes to life.
M: I love it! Yay! Okay.
W: Okay. But you have to also.
M: Well, that's where it might fall apart. Maybe down here in San Diego if I find something easy to start off with; dip my little mouse toe in the water of comedy but--
W: So you're not interested at all.
M: I would rather be behind the scenes. I really am more comfortable like--  I could be a writer. I could be a puncher upper. 

00:10:00 - 00:15:01
M: Yeah. I don't know. I'm not-- We'll get there. Maybe after kids are launched a little more.
W: It might be something just for the experience. And I would imagine it's totally different, but maybe like Toastmasters where you force yourself to get-- If you did a few open mics and got up in front of a crowd. Is it the fear of public speaking? Or just--
M: I don't know. I don't know what it is. I guess it's just the unknown and being in front of people to be judged and getting the laughs. And that's the goal.
W: I can't believe I compared it to Toastmasters. It's nothing like that. But I guess the fear of just--  I would say that could help you to get up there.
M: Yeah. That's what everybody fears is being-- is public speaking. So it's a version of that, a crazy version.
W: And add the element of--
M: And it's hard to write jokes. I think it's hard to have a well-written joke and the timing and the delivery everything. Ah, so much. Right?
W: You have a natural knack though for it.  Yes, I think it's your new calling.
M: Hrrmm.
W: Anyway, that was awesome that Chris did that. I'm like, "Good for you".
M: Yeah, good for him. He was awesome.
W: And we were at the comedy club. So it was cool because you came down on the train. It's 'up' because I'm 'up' in LA, you're 'down' in San Diego.
M: We always have to do this north-south thing. It's so stupid. You're coming down to San Diego, Julianne. But so? Point? I took the train.
W: You took the train. You came up here. Beautiful train trip, eh?
M: Yep, except I sat next to someone who I'm pretty sure pooped their pants. Pretty sure it was the lady across from me.
W: She kept sending me pictures of it. She's like, "Who did it?" She kept sending me pictures of the people on the train.
M: Ugh. I was pretty sure it was the woman. And you-- She had that face. It was a whole thing. She was there with her son. But her son was like splayed out, a little tired looking, a little sweatpants-wearin. It could have been him. Pretty sure it was her but it could've been him. And then their stop came and they got up and left. And it was that awful poop smell like, as a mom, you know it. It's like that dried-- It's been in your underwear for a while. You think-- You get used to it so you don't smell it. But other people do.
W: Oh boy.
M: Yeah, they got up and left and so all the train doors were open. And I was like, "Yes. Okay. The smell's gone. It was definitely them." I took a picture out the window and everything. I'm like, "There she is." And the train doors closed and the air wasn't moving anymore. The smell was still there! It was the lady next to me!
W: It was one. And then there were none.
M: Yeah. So it was definitely her and, wow, she pooped her pants. I get it. I've-- We've all had a moment. But I digress. So I ended up in LA. You came and got me.
W: Yes, and then we went to this show. We took an Uber. Lyft. Whatever. We took a Lyft all the way to Santa Monica. It took twelve hours at 4 PM.
M: Julianne hates traffic, so we got to--
W: I don't know how I live here.
M: But that's why we got the Uber. So you could enjoy the backseat and it was nice.
W: It was enjoyable. Did you enjoy it?
M: I loved it. It was great.
W: And then we went to the club. It was in this cool place. It's the Westside Comedy Theater.
MW: Yeah. Am I right? Right. Okay. I believe so.
W: And, yeah, so we went there, and there were five, I think five, comics that opened. Which, you know, they're normally headliners which is the whole fun of this thing - that Chris the newbie virgin does his five minutes and all these wonderful, amazing comics open--
M: So the lineup is Nicole Blaine. She was the one who came up with the concept. I believe she hosts the show, and finds the comics and kind of coaches them. Then we had Lachlan Patterson who was hilarious. He had curly hair, really funny, new dad, great jokes. Barry Rothbart. He was funny. Laurie Kilmartin. She's a pretty big name. She was there talking about her kid.
W: You don't remember Barry!
M: I know. I can't remember Barry. Maybe that's when the beer hit the system, and I was a little overwhelmed. I don't know. And then my favorite-- Well, first--  And then the headliner was Bryan Callen who's from Mad TV. And I guess he was on The Goldbergs, and he was on The Hangover. What was he? The bartender on The Hangover you said? Something like that?
W: Someone else told us that. And I don't remember him. I didn't watch that movie but once.
M: But he was really funny. He was quick and, like, well-versed and quite the actor up there. He was really good. He was good. But the guy right before him that walked up, who I thought I saw walk by in the audience, and it turned out to be him, was Chris Fairbanks!
W: Chris Fairbanks! Jo's favorite.
M: And I happen to have like a relationship with him online because I've listened to his podcast with Karen Kilgariff for--
W: It's a one-sided relationship. Now it's two-sided.

00:15:02 - 00:20:00
M: Yeah, I know, right? … for like two years or so, and it's called Do You Need A Ride? I've mentioned it here bunch of times. And it's great. They drive around LA and just talk about whatever they see. They pick up friends and drive them around. So it's usually other comedians or actors. And I just really really like him. He's a very cool guy. He seems very down to earth and nice and emotional and all good things. And I've even told you, "He would be a great guy for you."
W: Oh that's so sweet of you.
M: So we got to talk to him.
W: Yes. So how did that all work out? We were sitting there. We were watching the show and you--
M: I think Bryan was done. We all clapped and-- No, your buddy was done. He finished the show. Chris Taylor. So once he was done, we clapped, we all stood up, and you were going to go talk to him and buddies and stuff. And I went over to Chris Fairbanks, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hi." And he's really nice, "Hi". And I said, "I'm Joelle from Mouse and Weens. Our logo looks like this." And he said, "Oh yeah, yeah. I remember you guys." And so we started talking.
W: Didn't you say he was a graphic designer and that he pays attention to logos?
M: Yeah, he said something about that. That's right. "I'm an artist" or "I gravitate toward the arty stuff so I always ask that. 'What's your logo look like?' So yeah, I remember that." Something like that. It was really nice. Yeah, and so we just started talking. And that's when you came in and said, "Hi. I'm Julianne. I'm her sister." And, "We're going to record you, if that's okay, for our podcast".  And he was like, "Okay, yeah." So we just started--
W: Super nice guy. We kind of did the ambush because it was in the moment and it was just a lovely time to talk to Chris because you already talked about how you like him. Got it.
M: Yeah, it was just-- It was neat. It was an opportunity to chat with someone that-- It's funny. Podcasting: you feel like you get to know someone. Or, you know, if you listen to a morning radio show, or whatever, who shares their life. You kind of feel like, "Okay. Yeah. They're my buddy." You just know them. But it's kind of odd because it's very one-sided. So they don't know you and-- But I don't know. He seemed very open and appreciative and nice.
W: Yeah, super sweet. Very, very nice. So we just we just did our in the moment interview. And also Wayne Federman who is a really great comedian. You should look him up. He was on Curb Your Enthusiasm. And he did the second part of the show with his improv group, which-- They kind of seem similar to the style of Upright Citizens Brigade where they have a monologist, which means you-- Someone throws out a random word. And then Wayne, who's this great comedian, did his monologue from scratch just remembering a story. And then everybody on the team - his improv team - goes up and performs these sketches based off of this random word that he told the story about. Does that make sense? Perfect.
M: Right. Yep. In his case it was like 'Canada'. And so he talked about growing up and stories about Canada. And they kept riffing off-- It was really cool. It was something I hadn't seen before. So I really liked it. But in the meantime between shows we talked to Chris and then Wayne walked up and talked to us for a little bit. So you'll hear him. And, yeah, so should we pop it in here?
WM: Cool. Okay.
 
(Interview with Chris Fairbanks)
W: Okay we're here with Chris Fairbanks. It's a very exciting interview. Tonight we're over at the-- What is this called again? Westside Comedy--
CF: Westside Comedy Theater. That's the full title. In Santa Monica where I used to live. And now--
M: I happen to know this. I'm like a weird stalker, but he just moved from this area. So what are you doing back?
CF: I had a show in Encinitas--
M: Near me. I'm down in San Diego.
CF: Oh! Okay. And then on the way back I stopped here. It worked out great.
M: Nice! Oh good. Are you doing a second show too?
CF: No, I'll just probably wander around the promenade. Do some window shopping on closed stores.
M: Nice. Good. I loved your first joke. That was fun. That was good.
CF: Oh I don't even remember what I did. I woke up--
M: Barney's?
CF: Oh yeah! It's right there. They have naked women in the men's bathroom, which means little kids go in there and they just see boobs. It's not the way I want to see them for the first time.
M: No. And I have a thirteen year old who I just found on his phone history started looking for boob pictures. What do you do?
CF: You know what? If it's looking for boob pictures, that's fine. It's weird because I just get jealous. Because when I was a kid it was little pieces of magazines and cutouts, and I'd like hold them in my pocket and run to a field.
M: The Sears catalog?
CF: Yeah, yeah.
M: I know. I know. But now, we give them these things and they can get instant access.

00:20:00 - 00:25:03
CF: Yeah that is scary. I think about it all the time.
M: Is that responsible as a parent? Should I take this phone away? Or what do I do?
CF: No, I think you can like just go to a store and be like, "How do I monitor everything?"
M: Firewall, firewall, firewall.
CF: Yeah. Keyword, keyword. Think of all the words.
M: Yeah. Kylie Jenner came up. Rack. Big rack.
CF: Yeah. Yeah. The word 'body'.
M: Yeah. I know. Adam Sandler movies. That's what his gateway was I think. He watched some Adam Sandler movies and all of a sudden...
CF: It's funny. Have you watched Adam Sandler do stand up now?
M: I saw his rap song, but...
CF: I thought-- I expected it to be a series of fart jokes. And it was the-- I, like, cried during it.
M: Really?
W: Oh, it's so good.
CF: Well his movies are like, you expect it. Did you see it?
W: Yeah. It's awesome. He does a rap. He does a song.
CF: I loved it! I watched it and then I watched it again
W: I love Sandler. I stuck with it. I know. He's good.
CF; Me too. The movies are dumb--
M: You like the 13 year old dick jokes right? No. Oh.
CF: No, you've got to watch the special! Then it's like really surprising how smart his standup is.
W: You've just seen the "Wallet. Watch. Keys." But it's beautiful. And Chris Farley... 
CF: Yeah. Yeah. And just the jokes. The one about the ghost and while he's trying to take a dick pic for-- Just have a conversa-- It was just like obscure, weird--
W: But he loves his wife. I love how much he loves--
M: Interesting. So has it matured because he's like married with kids. Or has he just gotten smarter?
CF: I think he's just like, "Stand up is hard. I'm going to pay attention to it and be really good at it." And then he's like, "Oh movies. Whatever. I can do whatever and people will like it. But I feel like the stand up part--
M: But that's his - right - his outlet now...
W: But then he whips out Punch Drunk Love. And then, you know, like he always had a real strong grounding in something good.
M: Right there's something else there.
CF: Yeah, I love that movie. Well, enough about Adam Sandler.
M: Yeah, really. How's your new apartment going?
CF: Oh it's great.
M: He was hanging murals and light fixtures and--
CF: And now, I like wanna go full national park theme with my bedroom because I have this pine tree wall and I think I'm just gonna get some potted pine trees.
M: Pine trees?
CF: And some sort of a heat source that's a faux fireplace. And then I think I'm going to put a tent over my bed and be really weird. And like, I have pictures...
W: Oh my god. That's so fun.
M: So you're serious?
CF: Yeah. Yeah!
M: So real trees, growing them indoors?
CF: Yeah. Potted ones. But the background-- I mean, I'm not gonna show you pictures because that makes for bad podcasting.
M: I'm down. I love it.
CF: Each area of my house I have like little themes. I'm like, "Here's the modern part--" I'm really excited about it.
M&W: Oh I love that. That's fun. That's good.
CF: And I haven't been working. I'm just buying things on Amazon. I'm really blowing it. I'm like, whatever, focusing on my rental that I put wallpaper in that will not be removed. When I have to move out of that apartment, I'm going to have to just fucking burn it down.
M: Did you ask the landlord first?
CF: Yeah, she said, "Do whatever you want." But I didn't know wallpaper stuck. Like just the residual on the trim, I've had to like put Goo Gone and scrape it off.
M: Yeah. He did an Instagram story of the painter's tape. I think I showed you that, right? And you were so mad. It was so funny.
CF: Yeah. I mean, okay. I am going to show you a picture. Look at this.
M: He's whipping out the phone.
CF: So I want to do something like that. That's at a hotel in south bay.
W: Oh my god. You're really doing it.
CF: I'm like gonna be all the way weird about it.
W: It's a picture of a fireplace and a wooded wall.

M: You know what he's doing? He's doing that Nordic huggy. Hygge. What's that word?

CF: Like that's the wall I did in my room.
W: That's awesome.
CF: So if I put pine trees up in there like and potted plants, and then do that do that kind of thing. I'm so excited about it.
M: Well this guy loves snowboarding
CF: Yeah
M: And skateboarding and grew up in Montana. Our mom lives in Idaho so we're not too far away.
CF: Oh where? I'm going to Boise on Friday.
M: Idaho Falls. So she's like south east corner by Jackson.
CF: I was going to go to Twin Falls and the thing didn't work out.
M: I don't know. Is that your crowd? Do you like the...the--
CF: Boise, yes. Boise's great.
M: Really? Well they're more like college, right?
CF: No, it's just a cool town. It's like every state has one of these pocket towns. Everyone has their own Austin or Missoula where otherwise-- No offense to all of Idaho. Coeur D'Alene is pretty, but you're gonna run into some MAGA hats. But it's a nice place to waterski if you don't talk about politics.
W: Or black people. With the KKK...
CF: Yeah. Right. Yeah. Hayden Lake. Yeah. Not so.... I think a lot of them moved to like Illinois. The Hayden Lake white supremacy stuff like got out of--
W: Coeur D'Alene?

00:25:03 - 00:30:11
CF:...and they're proud of it. They're like, "Yeah, we got rid of those weirdos." You know. It's like getting rid of a cub scout camp or something.
W: I can't believe that's still happening.
M: So Chris had - what? - a hip? A knee? A hip.
CF: A hip replacement.
M: A hip replacement. It's all good.
W: Oh my god. Is this from snowboarding injuries?
CF: I don't know. I just happened and I got it replaced. And it-- I feel like it keeps getting better. And last night at that show in Encinitas, one of the comics was this funny surfer girls whose-- I drank a little at the show and so I stayed at her parents' house. They had a guest room. And I woke up and her dad was like this Laird Hamilton like sixty year old Waterman surf guy, and he had the same (surgery). He went -like fifteen years ago - he went to India to get my surgery. And he's like, "It keeps getting better. I just keep getting--" Like he really got me excited about the progression of the healing. It doesn't plateau with feeling good. He's like, "Every year at the ten year mark I started running again." So he got me all excited about it. Then he made me a smoothie with all kinds of anti-inflammatory powders in it. There was like a mushroom powder. And to be honest, I felt great all day...except for the diarrhea.
M: What kind of mushrooms were these?
CF: Oh, I don't remember. I wrote it all down. Him and his wife were like, here's all the--Yeah.
M: Encinitas. Yeah that's like very hippie.
CF: Yeah. They were the coolest.
W: Tonight were you trying out new material or what does this...?
CF: No, I did some old stuff, and I feel it came out-- I was tired. The guy, when he made his smoothie it was like at six in the morning. And I already didn't sleep because I'm in a stranger's house. And then I drove from there. And then I had some drinks on the promenade. And then by the time it was time for that show, I was like, "Oh, I-- It's time to sleep." So I was like a laid-back--
W: Do you get loosened up when you drink for a show? Or does it sometimes get you too loose to where you forget stuff?
CF: Oh, yeah. No. It's not a practice. Yeah I usually try and monitor it. Two drinks before each show. Yeah.
M: Do you still get nervous before you go up?
CF: Always. Yeah, yeah.
M&W: Really? You've been doing this forever, right?
CF: Well I get nervous brushing my teeth. I just am not a--
W: Just a nervous person?
CF: But I am-- Once on stage I'm not nervous. I just get nervous before.
M: Then you're fine. I love your-- I think you said it once that you kind of like to stutter and make it awkward?
 
(Wayne Federman walks up. Weens in background explaining we're recording a podcast)
WF: No I love it!
CF: Hi Wayne. How are you? Good to see you!
WF: Hey! Sorry to interrupt the podcast.
CF: It is!
WF: I know, I know! That's what she just said!
W: What is your name?
WF: Am I allowed to say that? Am I allowed to--?
CF: Wayne Federman.
WF: Wayne Federman. Wayne Federman.
W: You're the main guy. Tell us about your biggest fear.
WF: One of my biggest fears is slipping and then landing on a neverending razor blade.
CF: Oh my god. Wait a minute. My sister and I used to talk about this all the time.
WF: Yeah.
CF: So a waterside made of razor blades.
WF: No, I'm talking about one razor blade that you slide on. Never ending. But it doesn't cut you in a half. It just--
W: It's just hurts for a long time.
WF: Yeah! What is happening?
CF: When I was a kid my sister would like babysit me said ways, she'd-- No, she would say-- To scare me, she'd say, "What if you're sliding down a slide of razor blades. And then you land in a pool of alcohol." 
W: Oh my god!
WF: Yeah, that's even--
CF: She's older and it would freak me out. I would think about like a mach ten razor like of slides, cutting my butt and my legs. It was horrifying. It's weird that that's your biggest fear.
WF: Yeah. It is. That is one-- Yeah. Also, I'm afraid-- I don't want to say what my other one is 'cause I don't wanna manifest it. I'm not worried about manifesting that one.
W: What does it have to do with? In the wheelhouse...?
WF: I can't. I don't even wanna. I don't even wanna. I don't even want to.
W: Superstitious.
WF: Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. That one is--
W: I think the razor blade is pretty intense.
WF: Well it's fantastical, but the other one could actually happen. And that's another fear of mine. Maybe if you get to know me better. What is happening here?
W: We've hijacked Chris for our podcast.
WF: Really?
W: Yeah. He's amazing.
WF: He is a brilliant comedian. He's a brilliant comedian always. Oh, you know, I've said it before. And very good on podcasts.
W: Yeah. Oh, amazing.
WF: I have to say. I've been in-- I've done dozens of - hundreds of podcasts by now. I think I've done over a hundred now. This is the best environment that to be taping one. This is it.
W: I know! This is what we've heard. On an iPhone.
WF: Non-cleared music in the background. Right.
CF: One of the best songs from four years ago.
WF: Right!
W: Okay. They need you got it.
WF: All right. I'm going to use the restroom.
W: Thank you Wayne.

00:30:11 - 00:35:02
M: Oh my gosh. We're being so selfish with you
CF: No, no, no. He's the best.
M: Are you like, needing to--? You're gonna hang out?
CF: Yeah, I'm probably gonna hang out in the bathroom after Wayne.
M: Can I ask you personal questions? Dating life?
CF: Yeah, yeah.
M: Do you ever talk about dating life? What's your dating life like?
CF: No I keep it kind of private just 'cause... I just think if I was in a full-on relationship I'd talk about it all the time. It's always like a point of contention or confusion, or fleeting, and it's so hard to like-- Even when I get excited about someone, it ends up getting disappointed. And I'm like, "Well I wish I hadn't said this four months ago."
M: Right. And then it lives on forever and ever.
CF: Yeah. Yeah. And it's more emotional than talking about something else like a car you like, and then all of a sudden you're like--
M: Right.
CF: Does that make sense? You know what I'm saying?
M: Yeah.
CF: Like I am just more tight-lipped about it.
M: That's smart.
CF: And with stand up I've always felt like I'm not going to be a masculine guy. I'm not--  Kind of like what Bryan Callen was doing after. Like acting macho and then balancing--
M: That was over the top.
CF: Yeah, it was fun to watch 'cause I'm like, "Oh, weird, I do that in an understated way." Like, don't let them know too much about you 'cause-- Keep people guessing. I don't-- So I don't--
(A girl interrupts with "Are you in line?")
CF: No, you go ahead. (whispers) God, she just ruined the... (to girl) No, no, you go ahead.
M: You didn't know you were going to be the bathroom usher tonight did you?
CF: No. We're in like Bladder Infection Night. She heard that. She heard that and I feel bad for saying it.
M: We can move over to the ladder area.
CF: No, so yeah, I don't-- But I want to be dating. Yeah. I wanna do all the stuff everyone wants to. I want to be dating and have kids and all that.
W: What do you think about--
CF: Also stand up is a huge obstacle with-- It sounds like an excuse. But I've been like, okay. Let me focus on getting healthy. Let me get a new leg. Let me move. Let me get better at stand up. Let me record a special and all of sudden over a year has passed and you're like, wait. I'm like a loner, you know, but fulfilled like, I think there's-- People frown on being alone but it's also really productive. And I'm not like a weirdo. But that's how I feel right now, you know.
M: This is my sister. She is single.
W: Oh!
M: She's on hiatus from being a location scout director in tv and movies. And she feels the same way. She's like, "I don't need a guy. She's been through some funky stuff. And like, I want to be alone and productive. And so she's doing all sorts of music and podcasts.
CF: We have to wrap it up because he's introducing the next show.
M: So anyway, it just got awkward, but look her up. I want to matchmake you two. I think you're perfect together.
W: Oh my god. Sorry.
M: That's all. Thank you Chris! We love you!
CF: You're the best! Thanks!
 
W: Oh...
M: I'm so sorry.
W: Jo!
M: I know. I had to throw it in.
W: At the end.
M: At the end. I had to try to match make.
W: I love it.
M: I just-- I think he's so cool. And you're so cool. And a lot-- You guys remind me a lot of each other. Honestly.
W: Oh. That's so funny.
M: And I think you would be a fun-- Even if, you know, whatever. It would be fun to hang out with him. And he would be a cool like honorary uncle or friend or whatever. Because..
W: Oh my god. That's so funny.
M: He would be our buddy. He was born your same year.
W: Yeah. I know. We're right in the--
M: We're totally in the wheelhouse. We talk about all the same stuff.
W: Isn't that funny when you hear-- You're like, okay, part of the tribe. Yeah. That's awesome. Very-- You're so funny, though. I love that.
M: I know. Sorry!
W: And what a nice guy. What a super cool, sweet guy. And I loved that woodsy theme room! That's always been my thing! I had to-- I'm part of this program The Art of Freelance, and I've talked about it before. But it's a ten week program where you launch one of your projects, and I'm doing a twelve song album of original music, but also it was very much in the beginning about getting to what is your bigger goal? What do you really want in life? And kind of seeing yourself in the space that you want to live in. Anytime I've done any kind of kooky exercise like this or be a part of a program, it's always that I create my theme room house! I always have different themes in each room...
M: I love it
W:...and totally dig it. So the fact that he was doing that was awesome. Doing his room like that.
M: Did you hear me keep trying to interject, "It's like Hygge. It's like Hygge." Did you hear that?
W: What's that? No. It's like what? 
M: It's spelled...
W: Hi Ghee? What are you talking about?
M: I know. I think that's what both of you were... "She's having a stroke. Just ignore her."
W: A little heimlich.
M: No it's this word. I think it's like from Scandinavia, like Finland or something. It's spelled H Y G G E.

00:35:04 - 00:40:01
And it means like just relaxed Nordic living.
W: Aaah…!
M: And so it's like a space with lots of wood and fur and like textiles.
W: I love that.
M: And knitted things and soft things and fireplaces and tea. And it's like, you're creating hygge.
W: Oh that sounds great. I just relaxed except for then I want to give you... I want to get that thing out of your throat.
M: I feel like I'm shopping at Ikea. "Hygge! Hygge!" I don't even know. Is that how you say it? I'll have to look this up.
W: I think dated that guy, the Australian bicyclist. Hygge.
M: Anyway.
W: Yeah, that's cool.
M: That was me in the background talking about that. But it just did not make its way through in the loud bar.
W: Yeah. It was kinda loud. I love the comments about, "How's that going to be clearing this original music?" or whatever he said.
M: I know. That was the best.
W: Anyway. But what what a great night!
M: Yeah. Super fun!
W: They were so funny. My God! And, you know, hats off! I keep thinking of the word 'Kudos', 'Hats off'...
M: 'Hygge'!
W: 'Congrats', 'Hygge' to those guys who get up there and do it. Yay!
M: That's right. Which kind of inspired you. You're looking for an agent again and open to auditions.
W: Yeah!
M: And open to stand up. I love this. I think this is awesome for you. So...
W: I think it's just a whole time period... Yes. And it first started... Well I've been behind the camera for so long, behind the scenes for a long time. I really wanted to work that muscle where you know how to write your own stuff and edit it if you have to, and shoot your own videos. And so I kind of got stuck in that world for so long. And I really, you know... You start making money, and I stayed in the production side. And now, I realize the creative part, which is that other very vulnerable part of getting up in front of people and expressing yourself, and more emotive, I guess. All of that. It would be a good time to kind of work that because I'm kind of too behind-the-scenes now.
M: That's fun. Yeah.
W: So it's a good balance.
M: Totally. I'm so excited for you. I love it. Yay! And I think watching a cameraman - your friend as a cameraman - get up there and do it. And so there's a little bit of balance there, right? So you can kind of...
W: Yeah. And it kind of...  So that was helpful. And talking to Chris Fairbanks. It was like, "Oh my gosh. These guys are out there and they're really..."  Just the energy in the room and seeing people who...  You have to make the effort. That's the thing. I do it from my house when I record music, which I'm doing now and doing this album and everything. It's very...  You're kind of isolated and I realize I want to shift that to where I'm out with people more.
M: Right. And you're so fun with like a group of people and collaborating and working off each other's ideas.
W: Yeah. I want to collaborate more too.
M: Yeah, that's your happy place.
W: It's all that flow. Yeah, being with...  I think so. And I think just.... I watched this.... The Ted talk I gave you. I don't know if you saw it, but it was like this guy... The whole Ted talk was about happiness. All I did was...  I was feeling sad and I typed in 'happiness'. And I love Ted talks and I looked at his. And it was a guy who for the past....  He didn't start the study. But he was one of the members that now has taken it.
M: Yeah, is he like the third director of it? Or the fifth director?
W: Yeah, he was a fourth director of this program. It started in the forties. And it was...  They followed people all throughout their lives. So these guys, they started at like nineteen years old.
M: I think they started it before that.
W: Maybe.
M: Wasn't it even turn of the century? I think it's like a seventy-five...
W: Did you watch it?
M: Or, no, maybe like 20's. … seventy-five year study or something from Harvard. Some longevity study of just like lifestyles and people.
W: And people and what makes them happy. And at the end of this whole thing...  See? You wrap it up so eloquently.  But at the end of this whole thing, they derive that the thing that makes people the happiest is community, and having a partner that you do not fight with. If it's volatile relationship then a lot of people would have early memory loss, dementia and would die earlier.
M: Illness. Yeah.
W: The ones who were in good relationships...  But the relationship was kind of the key of the study. To be around community...
M: Right.
W: ...and people that you care about that you help and that you love.
M: It's all about love, man!
W: It IS all about love. And this sounds very simplistic. But the fact that it was an actual scientific study and you should watch the YouTube video
M: Right. Yeah. Brain-scans and the whole thing, so....
W: Point being is I think that I've spent a lot of years just being a little bit more on the like, "I'm kind of..."  I'll sit and do projects by myself a lot, and I want to shift that. What do you think?
M: I agree. Do projects with me and others. Yes.
W: And hang with you! I wanna hang with... I love this. And I love hanging with family.
M: Yeah!
W: I always feel so good
 
00:40:01 - 00:43:20
W: And then I come back to my little LA cottage and sometimes I get sad because well, you know.
M: I know. Well...
W: But I have to force myself to go out, and...
M: Yeah, you have a bevy of people you could hang out with and that would have you. But I think you should sign up for classes. And you do. You do. But like this Pretty Funny Women podcast that I listen to, and they do classes, and it's geared toward teaching women specifically to get up and do stand up, and I'm like, you gotta take this class Sherman oaks. It's even though it's a drive you could do it. And so I don't know. I think this would all be really cool and fun and exciting. So.
W: Yeah. Just for a challenge. I think all of that just being scared. And the thing that okay, I don't wanna keep talking so long because I wanna see on the comedy tip at one of the things that opened this up is I went and. Someone talked me into doing vegan vegetarian. Speed dating. I'd never done anything like this in my life. But not to digress. We'll talk about that at another time, except that was a very big uncomfortable vulnerable thing to go to this thing to be open to whatever's going to happen happens and put yourself out there. It was so freaky at the same time that also helped move that that sort of vulnerability, which I think comes with being up in front of people and acting and possibly doing comedy. And I don't know if people that goes away for some people that you just get it's get so routine that you just jump on stage. I'm sure it does. I mean I've heard actors talking about that not as much comedians. What do you...? Have you heard comedians go like, "Yeah, I don't get nervous anymore. Even Chris, he got...
M: Yeah.
W: Like, Chris Fairbanks was saying that he still gets nervous. And you hear that from a lot of people, so...
M: Right. I'm sure once you get in there...
W: I think that keeps you alive.
M: Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure. Yeah. It's like that adrenaline rush and why people go, y'know, mountain biking or whatever to do that big loop de loo, woo!
W: Yeah, maybe if you're more in the arts, artsy world then the be the buzz that you get.
M: Alright, I love you Jules. I just want to wrap this up by saying that we had such a fun time in Santa Monica at Westside Comedy Theater. Everybody was so nice that we met. The comedians were great. And thank you for lending us your voices. Kudos! There it is! Kudos to Chris Taylor for getting up there - The Virgin Sacrifice. That was awesome. And you Weens!
W: And Chris Fairbanks for talking for us
M: For us?
W: Talking for us?!
M: Thank you for talking for us. Everybody please look these comics up. Chris Fairbanks, especially! And listen to Do You Need A Ride?
W: Wayne Federman
M: And Wayne Federman. He's on a million different podcasts. Yeah. It was all great. And we're inspired, especially Weens! We'll watch for you next.
W: Cool. 
M: You want to do our socials?
W: : Watch the Wiener rise!
M: Say our media stuff?
W: Hey, no. Let's do a Mother's Day...
M: Oh, how did I forget this?
W: We want do a nice little shout out to our sweet and lovely mother.
M: Right. Okay. But first please follow us on all the social media and rate and review. And thank you for everyone for sharing. That means the world. The number one way we can grow is through friends and family talking about us. So thank you. Okay.
W: Thanks! We love you.
M: Happy Mother's Day. It's coming on Sunday.
W: Happy Mother's Day. Here it comes.
 
00:43:20 - 00:45:52
<MUSIC>
How can we think you for being our mom?
We figured best expressed in this dedication song.
I've always thought you've had magical Supermom powers.
You must since my birthing took forty eight hours. Sorry.
You did the laundry room in Raggedy Ann and Andy.
For this I forgive you for the no junk food or candy.
Just kidding. We know that was more dad.
Your smell was so classy, White Shoulders perfume.
Sorry I released the large snakes in my room.
My favorite was calling you Mama Joyce! Mama Joyce!
Dirty guy friends later changed it to Joyce is Choice!
I forever bought you gifts of your favorite Almond Roca.
This is hard to rhyme. Do you like Lee Iacocca?
You love cocker spaniels and your Chrysler LeBaron
Your eighties MC hammer pants and that golden lamé you were wearing. Ooh!
I'll never forget you designed my unicorn cake
And how you drove us a thousand times to the cool Golden Skate.
You made us kiss you good night to check for beer on our breath.
So you know, Jolly Ranchers worked to cover this best
You listened to our problems and you tried to understand
You went through a reggae phase. Almost joined a George Marley band. Bob Marley! Whoops.
You taught me to face challenges and to walk through my fears.
Did you tell that to Thayer's kid who you threaten to cut off his ear?
You've always been strong and you were your own boss.
I still have nightmares about jackets from that store where I got lost.
My boobs looked like two frog eyes cresting the water
But you got me a used bra from your co-worker Nancy's daughter.
And for all that we've put you through, all our silly drama, you remain the most amazing and wonderful, mama.
We love you.

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